CC: Thank you, I see what you are saying when you said:
Sundari (Quote): The ‘D” factor is the universal fear core of the ego, which seems to play out uniquely in everyone but comes with the territory of being ‘human’. The path of devotion which we talk about and Ramji will further unfold this Sunday, is about transmuting that ‘battle’ with the vasanas into devotion, love of God. So, when you observe a typical like/dislike pattern, instead of going into battle, you just see it as love and with love, because everything in life, no matter how apparently good or bad, is about love of Self. Therefore, love of God. It’s a different approach to the same problem, with the same outcome – freedom from the ego, peace of mind, perfect satisfaction.
CC: And also about the ‘imposter’ – I never really understood the meaning of this, but got the ‘aha! ‘ moment 🙂 A worry about it got tempered quite instantly. It is easier to work on/ recognize it now.
Sundari: The ego identity (or “D’ factor) is entrenched for anyone who thinks they are the person having experiences. But the problem is, reality never matches up to its expectations – it’s likes and dislikes, fears/desires, so the ego never gets real satisfaction, nor ever feels secure. Not for long, anyway. Isvara is forever changing the objects/experience, and/or taking away or tempting with new objects that promise but never really deliver.
Thus, the ego is always worried, never feels satisfied, or happy with what it achieves (even it gets what it wants) because it thinks it’s the doer responsible for results – for holding onto or avoiding the objects/experience it desires or fears. So all doers are looking for safety first and foremost, then for validation or virtue in some way or another, because everyone is trying to hide to some degree, the egoic imposter behind it all. And the hard truth is that the ego really is an imposter, preventing you from accessing your true identity as the unlimited, nondual ever present Self.
It’s amazing that such a tiny thought can have such power – but that’s Maya for you! The only way to change that is to objectify the ego with Self-knowledge– which if you have been following recent satsangs, is very hard to do. Many so-called ‘true’ inquirers fail abysmally when God comes calling to test them, and to open the door of their cage. Many would rather have that door slam shut and cling in righteous indignation to that small pathetic fearful identity, which they think is safe. They are just a thought away from freedom but just cannot ‘go there’. Not ready and not qualified.
It is so weird, as I said to another inquirer recently –
When you truly are free of the jiva identity, it really is of no importance what anyone knows or thinks about you as a person. Who cares? We are all flawed and in the same boat as a jiva – with all more or less the same challenges, strengths and weaknesses. Who has the right to cast a stone?
And most importantly, we are the same Self, so what’s the fuss about?!
CC: Yes, I get what you say: “We often get people ask us what they are doing wrong, or rather, not getting right. But we can’t help anyone apply the nondual teachings to their lives”.
This sometimes happens in my mind also but the teacher/ teaching, not waving the magic wand, shows that it doesn’t work that way. It would work that way if it were a necessity (within the teaching); which it isn’t. It is impossible because one is Self and there is no difference between people/ things/ Isvara. Ramji’s talk last Sunday, on his question and the candle comes to mind also; maybe some ‘esoteric’ event may happen, but it is all Isvara/ Self.
Sundari: Yes, it would be nice if Isvara made it that easy. But Maya is a real trickster. And most minds are firmly under the spell of duality, even when they think they are ‘into’ nonduality.
CC: A discrete tiny object, a proton, a wave, a chair, a thought, subtle or gross, or the entire universe; it is an object/ uphadi – a seemingly single thing; because it reflects/ borrows, is derived from the Singular, one Self. But objects cannot hold and exist on their own, as they are compounds, alloy’s and (thus) unreal. At least, this is how it seems to me, in terms of cause and effect.
Sundari: Yes, this is correct.
CC: Whenever the mind or imposter-I rambles about how difficult karma obstructs assimilation ( complain-mode ), and so on; the zero-sum understanding cuts it short. I don’t buy it and peace, underscoring all oddities, remains. Surely I take it lightly, for it makes no sense to dwell over shit and moreover, it is unreal. I see/ understand this so clearly that I am almost astonished that it doesn’t completely disappear; which must be avidya.
Sundari: The fact that you are objectifying the karma and taking it lightly means it’s as good as non-existent. If Self-knowledge is working, it carries the ‘weight’ of the karma. But prarabdha will still play out, that’s the thing. Living nonduality and being ‘in the world’ re-orientates the mind. It changes everything though because the world is in you.
CC: I pray for complete clarity. Nightmare-like experiences are just shit, ‘naturally’ I dislike it. It doesn’t reflect my value systems. But I am love, whatever Maya’s twists. It seems/ feels like my mind tries to wiggle itself out of stuckness, tensions/ fears, etc. When my mind is clear I hardly need to keep the satya/ mithya discernment going – it is obvious and automatic. And when too much tamas ‘returns’, sadhana, application amp’s up.
Sundari: You are doing just great, pat your (not) self on the back!
CC: Mostly I live in indirect knowledge while getting tastes of direct knowledge/ knowing. There are no words for it, ( well, i.e. atman, self, etc.) But to live by this truth feels free for jiva. It is good to be – and so my mind is getting slowly but surely the conviction that circumstances say nothing about me nor jiva. I don’t understand why the difference between clarity, peace and avidya is playing out such a contrast; I think there is no why or I need not know it – just karma playing out.
Sundari: Yes. As the scriptures say – ‘on the subject of karma, even the sages are perplexed’!
CC: Thank you for this from your last email: “ I had to go through it, I think most of us go through what you describe until we learn true compassion and dispassion, which go hand in hand. That is the beauty of jnana yoga as bhakti – it is love loving itself. You are the faith you keep”.
Sundari: Yes, as I said above, everyone who is a true seeker of freedom must go through the objectification of the personal egoic identity. This is the essence of moksa, and there is no other way freedom from limitation is possible.
You are most welcome, dear friend. We are all in this together, and it’s a privilege to share this priceless knowledge with one so dedicated to truth.
Much love
Sundari