Petra: This is still in spite of making ongoing challenging decisions and clearing my father’s flat of everything, which has been quite a bit of work though this optimistic energy seems more and more present.
Sundari: A clear indication that Self-knowledge is working in your life with all its challenges. Mithya is mithya, that never changes; it can only create an imperfect world because of the nature of duality. Expecting things to be different or wanting a particular result is the source of so much suffering. Freed from the dictatorial force of fear-based desire, the Self shines through regardless of what’s going on in your life. Though changing our life for the better is not the main aim of assimilating Self-knowledge it is the unavoidable side-effect. So, we find ourselves smiling and happy even when ‘life’s a piece of shit when you think of it!’ as Monty Python sang in The Life of Brian. There’s a lot of that going around right now!
Petra: I do have a question. I wonder about sattva and this joyousness, does consciousness, existence, awareness, the love always reflect through sattva, or is it direct? Perhaps I shouldn’t question it, just enjoy the beauty and the love but I have found small me wondering.
Sundari: Well, who is asking this question? As the Self, all three gunas are objects known to you, none of them affect you one bit. For the jiva that is a different matter. Knowing we are the Self we still want the jiva to be happy, so we aim for sattva at all times of course, but the gunas will play out regardless. As you know, all three gunas are always present to a greater or lesser degree—and all three gunas are necessary to maintain balance for the jiva. When any one of the three gunas is out of balance, it means its negative qualities tend to manifest—and along with it, the negative qualities of the other two gunas tend to manifest as well. Sattva has a negative side as do rajas and tamas have a positive side.
That said, sattva is the springboard guna for the Self to shine in a pure mind. Sat, Existence/Consciousness (of which sattva is the most subtle manifestation), is actually the true nature of the mind. As such it is not a quality that you can really gain more of—but it can be contaminated by the downside of sattva or obscured by rajas and tamas out of balance with sattva. Because of the nature of the gunas, which make up and govern the creation of everything, the nature of the Field of Existence is constantly changing. However, the Self shines regardless of rajas and tamas appearing in the mind, which is why you experience the natural state of bliss even when things are tough for the jiva.
Sattva is a state of mind that is purely experiential and therefore does not last. It certainly will not free the person from dependence on objects (including dependence on feeling good)or end the subtle existential suffering that comes with it. Having a peaceful (sattvic) mind is not something anyone can hold onto indefinitely. One needs to gain the knowledge that you are always fine no matter what is going on in the mind,even though one aims for peace of mind at all times. Making sure one’s life conforms to dharma in every way is of great importance if peace of mind is the main aim. A highly rajasic or tamasic life is definitely not conducive to peace of mind and will make Self-inquiry impossible, or at best, very difficult. Sounds like you have that right, from what you say, which shows that Self-knowledge is bearing fruit and is becoming firm, as I said above.
We once had a discussion on sattva which I seem to remember resulted in a significant breakthrough for you. We talked about the common occurrence among spiritual seekers to get stuck identifying with sattva because it feels so good. But dependence on sattva is dependence on an object for happiness, which is the opposite of freedom. You are the Self regardless of whether the mind is sattvic, tamasic, or rajasic and why we say that a jivanmukta welcomes all three gunas equally.
Another trap in the spiritual trap inquirers fall into is believing they are making progress or even done with self-inquiry because their minds are predominantly sattvic. A common manifestation of the negative side of sattva is what we call getting stuck in the olden cage of experiential bliss, thinking happiness is the Holy Grail and that you are quite special because your mind and lifestyle are sattvic. Many wrongly identify with the feeling of sattva believing that without it they (and nobody else) can qualify as being ‘spiritual’ or ‘enlightened’.
The problem arises with the misapprehension of what moksa really is as well as the different meanings of the word “bliss”. I think we have been through this before, but it won’t hurt to recap as this is such an important and very subtle point. Not getting it holds many inquirers back. There are two kinds of bliss: ananda which is experiential bliss, and anantum, which is the bliss of the Self. The bliss of the Self—that which is always present, unlimited, and unchanging—is not an experience (feeling) because it is your true nature, anantum.
Existence/Awareness is present whether or not ananda is present. The bliss of Self-knowledge (anantum) however can be experienced as a feeling, such as the bliss of deep sleep, which is inferred when you wake up, or as parabhakti where love is known to be you, your true nature, meaning Consciousness, the Self. Parabhakti is having all you could ever want and knowing that it will never leave you. It is love loving itSelf. It is experienced as limitless satisfaction.
The nature of the Self, Awareness is parama prema svarupa. Parama means limitless; svarupa means nature and prema is the love the makes love possible. In its presence even spiritual love comes alive; however spiritual love no matter how pure is dualistic. It is a transaction between a subject and an object, a feeling of love, for example. When I know I am Awareness, I am prema, limitless love. This love is knowledge because Awareness is intelligent. Prema is only known directly when the doer has been negated by Self-knowledge.
What living a dharmic life gives you is an experienceable peaceful mind capable of inquiry, such as you say you have. It is so such an improvement on a mind run by rajas and tamas that many inquirers stop there. But what moksa gives you is much more–the bliss of Self-knowledge, which is very different from ephemeral experiential bliss, and it is permanent. When moksa has obtained in the mind one may and usually does feel experiential bliss regularly, but one does not depend on it because you know you are the bliss. In fact, you could be stuck in a situation you do not enjoy but cannot change, such as you have been, and feel blissful, nonetheless. Experiential bliss does not disappear when Self-knowledge is firm, it just does not matter whether the experience of bliss is present or not because the bliss of Self-knowledge is always present and known to be your true nature, keeping the mind steady, dispassionate, and confident. This is what we call direct Self-knowledge, and it is free of everything, including sattva.
This subject is the essence of Ramji’s recent seminar on Ramana’s Sat Darshanum. Here is a quote from an inquirer, who totally got it:
“I would like to share with you about what has come to me as a result of listening to your seminar, Ramji, on Sat Darshanam. I didn’t get it at first – what you were pointing to in choosing this topic -but it wouldn’t let me go and I found myself reflecting on what you were saying about Ramana’s statement that to know the Self is to abide firmly in the Heart. Then at a certain point something relaxed in me that I did not know was not relaxed(!) I realized that there had still been subtle effort to “be the Self” when all along of course, I am the Self. This was despite having enjoyed much benefit from Self-knowledge for a while now, but the difference relates to an understanding of what is meant by existence, is-ness, me-ness. In the mind the knowledge that existence is self-evident is clear, but the integration of that fact into one’s experience is a shift of identity that is almost impossible to put into words, like falling in love – and yet very profound in its impact. For a start, it removes a belief that there is a need to justify one’s existence through action as if it were not enough to simply exist. Happiness is a pre-existing condition that has only to be claimed and until it is claimed it is not possible to fully integrate the knowledge that one is not a doer.”
Amen. to which I replied: It is not an experience which is why it is hard to put into words. Happiness is not claimed so much as known to be the normal state of the mind, no matter what is going on in it.
Much love
Sundari