Questioner: Hey, James, I first discovered your website about six months ago, and since then I’ve bought and read several of your books; got your hard disk of videos; a few books by Swami Dayananda Saraswati; and the Bhagavad Gita by Stephen Mitchell. Every day I read some part of a book, pretty much opened at random, read some satsangs, and on around 50% of days I have time to watch at least a few minutes of one of your videos. I am viewing the Atma Bodha series now. I’ve been refining a daily prayer based on your recommendations about how to pray, and I pray for a moment each morning and throughout the day. I’ve been adopting the karma yoga attitude as much as I am able.
I find it that it seems more helpful to me to just directly remember that I am awareness throughout the day, as frequently as I am able to remember it, rather than to use the “I am the non-dual…” mantras and the karma yoga reminders. I just remember that I am, in fact, only the awareness of experiences. Then I put my attention on being aware, and my mind calms down and my attitude becomes pretty much the same as karma yoga. I am wondering if that by itself is an adequate practice.
I found these quotes in Edward’s book about The Crest Jewel of Discrimination that make me think maybe that is enough to make progress:
“The mind is resolved when, bolstered by dispassion toward objects, its attention is removed from objects and repeatedly placed on the Self.”
“Always and in every way focusing the mind on awareness is called samadana; it is not pacifying or entertaining the mind.”
My main difficulties are concerned with getting control of my tamasic behaviors: laziness; procrastination; distractibility; etc. I am disappointed in the way I live. When I hold my attention on awareness my mind is freed from the disappointment but the behavior doesn’t improve.
James: The practice of remembering “I am awareness” is excellent but it is basically useless unless your mind is disciplined and your life and well organized. A non-conforming lifestyle prevents assimilation of the knowledge “I am awareness.”
So you have to start at the beginning. There is a complete program for beginners, intermediate and advanced inquirers. I figured out from the short conversation we had that your mind is undisciplined. It is fear/desire-oriented and therefore is distracted and procrastinating. All I really needed to know was the fact that your boxes are still unpacked three years after you moved in and that it took a year-and-a-half to complete a ticket at work. And the fact that you just pick up a text at random and read a bit here and there for inspiration indicates insufficient appreciation of the professional attitude required for Self-inquiry. If you are going to set yourself free and create a meaningful life, you will have to religiously follow the program.
So I attached a copy of The Yoga of Love, my commentaries on Narada Bhakti Sutras. Please read the introduction, as it summarizes the basic logic of Vedanta practice. Take your time – no skipping. Don’t read the rest of the commentaries. Then you should start The Essence of Enlightenment from the beginning. It presents the big picture in a very clear, logical way. Read it every day for about 30 minutes, no more, and make sure that you understand and accept each idea before you move on to the next. Once you have completed chapter 1, we need to have a Skype chat so I can see what you did and didn’t assimilate. Then I will know how to proceed. It may be that you will need some kind of therapy owing to the obsessive nature of your mind, but maybe karma yoga and a serious values inquiry will work. I shouldn’t think the doctrine will be hard to grasp, as you are obviously very intelligent and well educated, but the proof of the pudding is in the eating, so we will see.
~ Love, James
