Hi Ramji it’s M…. from L…… I hope you’re well and that your schedule isn’t too hectic. I always found Vedanta knowledge easy to understand even if it wasn’t fully assimilated into hard and fast knowledge. the whole and complete self we are made complete sense to me at least intellectually anyway. However there was always some type of blockage preventing me from the fruit of knowing that I am the non dual consciousness. Four days ago I was shopping in Sainsbury’s and as usual I had been diligently practicing that which I already am. However when I got to the till to pay for my shopping my mind blew away and died completely. This was a total obliteration of my mind/memory and everything that the ego/doer consisted of. It was unnerving to say the least and thank God l knew about awareness as the self otherwise I would have gone to pieces. Anyway since this powerful experience l no longer have to discriminate awareness from Mithya. I am only awareness and Michael is dead or Michael now stands for awareness. Fullness is an ever present fact for me and I see clearly that I am perfect, our existence is perfect with nothing missing. l understand what Vedanta really means when it describes fullness, limitlessness etc. This knowledge cannot be assimilated until the cesspool of our causal body has been faced and let go of. What a trip! and it wasn’t easy at all! In fact it was a living nightmare at times. My desires and fears are drying up and everything that the scriptures say about realisation is happening. You know James I was one fucked up human being once upon a time and to think that Isvara has been leading me to this vision that obliterates the need to want for anything is so beautiful. I was never a follower of anyone and I think that is integrity and destiny led me to you and Vedanta. Enlightenment is akin to coming to an answer like 1plus 1 equals 2 and once we know it’s two for a fact we’re free because that’s the way reality is. Once the mind accepts fullness and the fact that it is the one existence consciousness it is done. It seems that every person l meet is in a state of constant anxiety whether they are fully aware of it or not. Ignorance is alive and well in most people and at its core is the terror that we don’t exist as people. My memory is coming back now and everything is establishing itself anew from the perspective of awareness. I am the light without which the machine of creation cannot exist. A silent watcher that doesn’t care because it’s only seeing itself in apparent action. I know this is a long email but I needed to tell you how I understand that though there have been many realisations and insights the shift hadn’t quite occurred yet and that l am the existence prior to the ignorance of naming that which is ever unnamable. To say that facing one’s ignorance is difficult is the understatement of the century nay millennium. Vedanta destroys ignorance whether we want it to or not and believe you me, at times I wanted to throw the towel in and say “hey Maya!” You’ve won please leave me alone. Once we start to look into ourselves with the guidance of Vedanta we cannot go back to ignorance because it’s no longer there. So we have to push on through the pain and it is painful because even though we know we’re the self we haven’t yet got it’s full protection, fullness. It’s like being on a runaway train that we’re not sure we want to be on. However once we arrive at that which we are ever arrived at, all is well because we can see that reality is indeed benign and I am indeed non dual needing nothing other than myself. Existence-Consciousness equals myself, equals everything. Anyway Ramji and you can probably tell l could go on for hours praising the majesty of Vedanta and the self that I am/You are. 14 years ago I came across an interview with a little known Vedanta teacher on conscious TV. Ever since I have been journeying towards the bliss, fullness and everlasting peace of our true nature: The Self of all beings existence shining as awareness. BTW these days I don’t have any spare cash to donate to shiningworld as l am a poor yet rich in love person, but if I ever do acquire wealth again I will surely donate, of that there is no doubt Love Michael.
Ramji: Good for you! You deserve it. I remember the interview well. Was it 14 years? I’ll be dammed! I remember that interview well. The interviewer quit talking to me when I criticized the Neos. Imagine that! Anyway, it just goes to show that perseverance furthers. Never mind about money. You’re the best donation!!!. You made yourself happy, me happy and the world is blessed with a walking talking altar. And your account of it is certainly elegant. Much love. Ram
