I’ve been asked about my time at Dayananda Ashram.
“The more I live, the more I learn.” – Sri Ramakrishna
Vedanta doesn’t change. It has said the same thing since I first heard it 8 years ago, and in the very beginning. Thank God.
I spent 3 months in consistent inquiry, being seen and seeing others in a sacred environment set up for self growth. A space the unconscious could arise in safely, be integrated and transmuted. It was beautiful to watch multiple transformations, blossoming of hearts and minds, soul friendships forming and deepening. (daily learning always) What it means to live this great teaching.
Tat Tvam Asi
Aham Brahmasmi
Brahma satyam jagat mithya jivo brahmaiva naparah.
Until these Mahavakyas can be properly understood and assimilated it requires consistent and ardent shedding ‘snake skins’ of ignorance. How strong is my desire to be my Self? Mumukshutvam. One of the most important qualifications to realise my true unborn nature
For many years I’ve contemplated a reconciliation of the “ideal” of the teaching, and “my life”, or my personal reality/personality. Now I see the gradual full alignment of my life, my personality with the teaching, with what is true, with what the scripture says about me, and how to live a righteous wholehearted free life here and now. Letting ideas and feelings of separation and divisions melt away, so there’s no gap.
It’s not worth it to even have one little toe in Samsara (some sorrow). Samsara, a perpetual wheel of frustration. It’s just a notion! Full of attachments and beliefs. Wrong ideas about myself and the nature of reality. It needs to be seen for what it is, a “rope snake”, merely a belief, a changing scene of appearances. Let it go and replace it with pure common sense logic and right knowledge, and true seeing, a vision, darshan. A deep, inner knowing, felt as absolute peace and unshakeable confidence. Harmony. Seeing All beings in my Self and my Self in All beings. A vision that transcends all boundaries of culture, religion, race, gender and states of mind, while quietly permeating them all.
All these seeming differences, names and forms we see around us, can easily agitate one’s mind. How much are we living out of memory? How much is my conditioning preventing me to be truly happy, fulfilled, peaceful and authentic. To feel sovereign and empowered. (Have faith in the words of the scripture!) A sense of being empowered that doesn’t need power or control. Doesn’t need to gain an upper hand or feel superior, look at others as inferior. But knowing the truth. Truth is simple, yet subtle. Therefore, not easy and often unpalatable. Therefore it’s important to keep the sastra so close to you in your daily life. Constantly remembering the Lord. and keeping company of the Self.
Such profound gratitude for my teacher came to me daily, tears would fill my eyes when I realised how well I’ve been taught, how compassionate and loving he is – to all those who come into his field seeking knowledge. It’s not a special kind of love, it’s equal to all who genuinely want to know.
That’s a true teacher. Whose love is pure. James taught me so wonderfully how to love all. How to know that I am deeply loved and what that really means. Isvara as my mother, as my father and how to truly love my biological parents, which is loving Isvara and opening up to Isvara sristi. It’s a setup here. The human journey is to realise oneself, nothing more, nothing less. Every little thing is perfectly curated. Remove just one thought… and that could be the most pernicious thought you can think of! Whether it’s afflicting or irritating or grand and holy, this whole thing would collapse.
Perhaps you’re already reading this on Shining World. I hope you know how blessed you are to have such a great teacher as James, Ramji, here with us in the West. I saw so many students who don’t have a teacher. Some perhaps don’t need one and some really do. Some had corrupt teachers, which is devastating indeed.
True love, true freedom, is letting God into your heart. Having full accommodation for Isvara, and nothing else, no one else, as everyone is automatically included. A true teacher has done the same. Seeing how much God loves you and wants you to love, be loved, be that shining beacon of pure love.
All of this is Isvara. That is called bhakti
All of this is Atma. That is called jnanam
Is there a difference between bhakti and jnanam ? There’s a difference in language but not in the vision.
Read the life of Sri Ramakrishna.
Inquire daily. Be courageous to be your Self. Be courageous to look at your Self. The beauty of who you are. Truly, in all ways. Letting go of anything that prevents you from knowing that, living that, seeing that. And…that requires some hard work. Karma yoga is not easy. Karma yoga is very difficult. The ego resists. The truth is there, it’s infallible. Action and results do not lie. Conscience is built in. “If you know you could do better, make small changes daily.” (read “I am an Ant” by Ramji)
Early morning look at your thoughts. What comes up early in the morning is a great way to see if I’m habitually running off a program that doesn’t serve my best interest or my goals. What songs go around in your head? Let them be songs of God, who you are, Om Namah Shivaya! Let that go round in your head and know what that means. Not me, but Lord Shiva – all auspiciousness, please fill my heart and mind destroying any doubts. I’m free! – watching, unaffected, changeless. Think about it. Really, really think about it. Understand it.
What do you want? I have a choice. Moment to moment. Do I accept crumbs? Begging at the world for more of the same. Or do you want to know who you are? The divine effulgent source of everything. An endless source of love, security and pleasure. Free, unconditioned, not limited or modified. The pursuit is definitely most worthwhile. Never give up!
Daily, how do you treat yourself? Talk to yourself? See yourself? How do you see and treat others? It doesn’t mean I must save the world. Or feed every starving mouth. But simply doing daily, what’s in front of you, what needs to be done, your duty to your Self. If you can offer your time and attention to others that is a great gift and blessing. The best service to the Lord is knowing me and the Lord are one. Let go of the divisions and oppositions in your mind. What are those elements appearing there that divide and oppose? Malaise, jealousy, hatred, spite, rivalry, competition, all these elements divide and come in the way of realising the spiritual unity. Therefore do away with all those elements.
~ Words from Swami TV (whom I got to meet!)
“Practice love, you have to practice love. Love all, like yourself. the one who censures you, love that person. The one who praises you, you love that person anyway. But the one who condemns you for a good reason or for the wrong reason, still you love that person anyway. How to do that we will see, this is how you have to grow into that realisation of spiritual unity. You have to grow into that. You have to bring an inner transformation in which the mind gets rid of all the divisible movements. You have to work on it. Take help from the sastra. Take the cue from the sastra. From the mahatma. Both. The sastra and the lives of the mahatmas. But ultimately you have to make it happen for yourself in your own heart and mind.
Suppose you are willing to live with non love, hatred and all that, then you are waiting for sastra to help you. It can’t. It’s an artificial structure. You have to pay attention to quality and intention in your mind, in your heart. Forgive all. There is a prayer. Oh god forgive my trespasses as I am willing to forgive those who trespass against me. Forgive those who you consider your enemy or opponent adversaries and there are people who are always waiting to find a fault in you. They are always waiting for that – fault finders these people are there, forgive them. Unless you forgive you cannot forget. Then your mind remains free from spite. Grow into consciousness that is ready for realisation of the Spiritual Unity.”
What else did I learn? It’s about integrating knowledge. Understanding I’ve been given everything. So I’m not grasping. I’m not struggling anymore. I’m not fearful. I don’t have grievances or complaints. I don’t feel victimised. I don’t feel I’ve missed out on anything. I’m not regretful – as I’ve attained the highest there is to attain in this life. So every day – show gratitude, and worship by making my heart and mind as bright and beautiful as possible. Be of service and inspiration to others. Be true to yourself and your Svadharma. Give more than you get. I’m not wanting needless stuff. Dreams about a better body, a better life. Better circumstances. If I want better health from my body or circumstances, that’s all within my capacities to make it possible. Because it is. I need knowledge. There’s no wishful thinking. The body is a science, a beautiful vehicle given to me by Bhagavan, it’s miraculous really, so see it as your own temple. The mind has endless infinite capacities to be brilliant and to be open to change. (The battle within) Gain control over your mind. Keep viveka and vairagya in your back pocket!
Don’t let your mind get stuck in the past. When you see something. How do you just see it? Can you just see it? Without naming it without a whole raft of thought or emotion to follow, apply this to people too, can we be objective when it comes to people, our nearest and dearest. Or money or your phone or the news. ( I generally don’t watch the news anyway, I didn’t watch it once for three months, of course I knew what was happening. My shanti prayers went out to the world… and… I was hoping I might have to stay in India.)
I learned and witnessed the power and beauty of Prayer… I pray show me Lord, how can I serve and learn today. Let me be happy and joyful. I learned so gloriously about the efficacy and purpose of prayer. Help me, help me keep my mind yoked. So that all pervading love shining in my heart lights up my mind – Tat Savitur Varenyam.
That one can pray is itself a blessing, and how one prays makes prayer meaningful.
I met and made the most wonderful friends. Inspiring each other to be the best human beings possible. A kind, loving, caring, and compassionate being willing to help and show others. I was inspired to be a better sister, daughter and friend. I saw them offer their time and hearts to those around them. Helping the kids on the street to read, buying them food, holding their hand walking along the river, or just generally giving love. I saw senior Vedanta students teach newer students what and how to pray at Ma Ganga. We sang a lot and laughed a lot together. The best things in life are free.
To sum up this piece, (more insights to come soon!) a few words from Swami Dayananda about prayer. I was so blessed at his ashram, soaking up all his amazing teachings. Namaste astu Bhagavan!
“Life has to be prayerful. Being prayerful means having an awareness of everything that is given, and the awareness of a giver. The more awareness you have of the presence of Isvara as the giver and the given, the more prayerful you are. If you analyse it, nobody can say that he or she is lonely, and yet most people feel lonely. It is because you feel that you are not understood.
You are exactly as you should be at this time and place, in your life. This is exactly what you are expected to be at this time and place. The Lord is the only one who knows that. And in order to say this, you have to know the Lord to be so. You are appreciating an omniscient being, in whose knowledge you are totally accepted. You do not need anybody else to approve of you, to accept you. You need not ask the Lord. Oh, Lord, please accept me. I may have many omissions and commissions, but please accept me. The Lord is not a limited individual like an uncle. In your vision of Isvara you are totally acceptable. It is not enough to say that in the vision of Isvara you are acceptable. That is all “iffy” because it depends on how much you understand Isvara. It is not enough to say that God is infallible.
You have to discover the infallible is God!
In that vision, you are totally acceptable.
There you can relax.
The one who counts is only the Lord.
When I say that everything is non-separate from the Lord. Then all that counts as one. In Isvara’s presence I am totally acceptable.
That I am acceptable in Isvara’s vision is my understanding. And that understanding is a must.
I have to see that I am an individual given this body mind sense complex. And as an individual, I have limitations, I have virtues. Both I acknowledge, and I am prayerful. I pray for the things I want. And one of the things I pray for is to be prayerful. Thus the whole life is one of prayerfulness.
I can look back and say that time, of course, wrung out. But it brought in a lot for me. So I can say it was a very good year. And I look forward to the next year, because in growth there is a joy. In simplicity, there is a joy. The simpler you are, the more people will love you because people are complex. Everybody has lots of problems.
Therefore, they look for a simple person.
People want to relate to a simple person, not a simpleton, but a simple person who is a wise person.
If a wise person is not simple, then he is not wise. He is otherwise. The simpler you are, the more profound are the things that you come to discover when you pray.
Let my life be prayerful.”
OM
Love,
Kate
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