(From a previous email) Francine: Waiting for something to come is an old buddy but I don’t feel prepared to say goodbye. I will give it to Ishvara, until Ishvara accepts it.
James: Isvara accepts everything so it is already accepted. My suggestion is to leave Isvara out of it and accept it now. You can’t lose anything, except waiting and you have everything to gain, which is to say complete peace.
Francine: I see that is really important to have a good teacher. I read what you wrote. And it was not easy to understand what you mean maybe because I did not expect the answer. You said why wait for Isvara. Why not escape from the waiting with the karma yoga attitude.
During my last meditation, I realized that I had tension in my body and I adopted the karma yoga attitude and gave my tension to Ishvara. But this time, a funny thought came to me: I am the Self. I illumine Maya – Ishvara. Maya needs me, I do not need Maya. I am beyond this tension in my body. It can stay here as long as it wants. I do not need to wait till it goes away, because in reality I am not affected by it.
Karma yoga is for jivas, that do not know who they are. The Self does not need karma yoga. When you know who you are, the body and mind can be affected, can be disturbed, but I, the Self, do not care. I am not affected. I am complete with or without tensions, expectations etc. I am the Self. I have nothing to wait. I have nothing to gain or to give.
When I look at me as Awareness, I do not know how to pray. I do not find the words, I do not have anything to say. It is strange. This make sense? When I pray I feel so connected. But it is a dualistic activity. The last time I did not find words to pray. I did not have the desire to pray. I looked only to myself.
James: It makes sense because it is the truth.
Francine: This is so funny. I waste so much time and effort trying to liberate myself from tension, bad thoughts, trying to be better and so on. If I stand fast in Awareness as Awareness this effort does not make sense! I am starting to understand and go beyond the concepts. To see the way Vedanta sees really makes sense! It is not conceptual. It is the reality.
James: Yes! Good for you. It is easy if you make it easy. It is hard if you refuse to stand as Awareness. You can take the stand because it is true. It is not true that you are a jiva. Get my new book that will be on the website (home page) today or tomorrow. It is called Existence Shining as Consciousness. It will help.
Love,
James
