Turn Your Face Towards the Sun

And…Why Happiness Does Not Always Equate to Meaning

Dear Sundari, Isvara has turned my life upside down and everything I relied on seems to be crumbling beneath my feet. Relationships, work, financial disaster, possibly losing my home and safe space. So many factors are involved, both big picture and small, both within and outside of my control.  I am taking appropriate action where possible, trying my best to apply Self-knowledge. But I seem to be on a slippery slope heading somewhere I don’t want to be.  I know this is all an object known to me, but even knowing I am the Self, there is not much happiness right now. I am struggling to keep my equilibrium.

Sundari: It is one thing to know you are the Self, and quite another to be unaffected by the trials and tribulations of the jiva.  Self-realization does not erase whatever karma is in the pipeline, which will fructify. It has to. Whatever lurks in the unconscious and needs resolving must be seen.  Having been bestowed the gift of self-consciousness means we are subject to doubt, anxiety and confusion, which animals do not suffer.

But Isvara also bestowed the human mind with a hidden drive for healing because its true nature is the Self, and ignorance of that is so painful.  This is why humans suffer such terrible psychological distress. Karma yoga of course is the key to all things mithya, which you know all too well. It is in times like these that it really counts. 

Part of the problem in all our human travails is that we think we should always be happy, and if we are not, something is wrong with us or our lives. Who said this is true? To you as the Self it makes no difference whether the jiva is ‘happy’ or not because the bliss of the Self is not dependent on how you feel. Self-knowledge aside, most people do not stop to ask themselves if happiness is the same thing as having meaning in life.

We tend to assume that whatever makes us happy also makes life feel meaningful. But though easy and comfortable raises happiness, it does not always bring meaning. In fact, very often, while we feel ‘happy’ when we feel safe and have all we want the way we want it, the nagging dissatisfaction of the emptiness of object happiness persists.

Nondual wisdom reveals that nothing in the world ultimately brings true happiness or meaning. As the Self, you are the meaning and do not require anything to obtain either happiness or meaning. However, for the jiva who must transact with the world Self-realized or not, meaning and happiness do not always arrive in the same package. And whether we know it or not, what we all want most of all is meaning.

Unfortunately, meaning requires sacrifice and stepping out of what’s safe, easy and comfortable. Even bouts of stress are linked to a deeper sense of purpose when they are the price to pay for meaning. This fact should be very evident, yet it is not to most who are allergic to inconvenience. People who choose to be parents know all about this conundrum because parenting requires so much sacrifice.

The reward of parenting is usually a lot of meaning, but also, a lot of stress and not always great happiness.  As always, it is a zero sum situation in mithya. But of the two, it is advisable to go for meaning over happiness if your instinctive strategy is to always stay in your comfort zone.  Comfort without some kind of sacrifice wears thin very quickly, as many a very wealthy comfortable person will attest. Very often, having all you want is as soul destroying as its opposite.

Yet it is strange how programmed the human mind is to find security, comfort and avoid inconvenience of any kind, at all costs. In our affluent Western society, we have become so accustomed to ease that a large part of the earth’s population doesn’t truly know the meaning of sacrifice, or the satisfaction born from the resourcefulness of making do without. Our likes and dislikes are commands we MUST obey.

Karma yoga is very difficult for this kind of mind, even though it may intellectually understand the concept of sacrifice and not being in control of results.  In practice, it is a different matter, with lip service being the order of the day.  Isvara is karma phala data, and does not make mistakes. There are no bad results, just results we don’t like. As our dear friend Suus says, whatever is happening is happening and if you don’t like it you clearly have something to learn. This is hard to accept when the going gets tough. True karma yoga is no walk in the park for the ego.

Nobody enjoys being out of their comfort zone. Sadly, we are not here to be comfortable but to grow. That’s just the way it is. I cannot advise you on what action you need to take. Ultimately, Self-knowledge takes care of everything. But still, karma is a bitch, and can be so confusing because there are times it’s a good idea to say no to Isvara. I think it comes down to the AA serenity prayer: 

Dear God, please grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, to change what needs changing, and the wisdom to know the difference. Most often, difficult karma is a combination of the two. Karma is never a straight line. Isvara is the big picture, which we usually can’t fully grasp or understand while it is unfolding. This is what makes true karma yoga hard, especially for a mind under the influence of the affluenza virus.

Q: When the intellect is shrouded in stress, sleep deprivation sets in, and other biological factors (hormones etc). Q: At times like these, the ratio of forgetting what we are to remembering what we are can tip in the forgetting. It’s painful to forget. A form of deception to SELF in a way. The greatest of all.

Sundari: Rampant rajas and tamas totally mess with inner peace, both on the subtle and material level. The sleep deprivation that accompanies this is a killer, the poor nervous system goes haywire. Feeling so horrible, both wired and hollowed out, empty and exhausted, doesn’t mean you can forget who you are. It’s not possible, you are always the one observing the inner and outer struggle. Observing the one who seems to forget.  The bliss of the Self is not diminished when the mind is tamasic, unhappy and exhausted.

It’s cold comfort I know, but Isvara is busy messing with your life for good reason. The ego craves convenience and security. It’s nature is that way, no blame. Isvara sets things up for us to fail, there is no way to win in mithya, even when we have things easy and the way we like them. But as stated, to have meaning our lives require growth, which always requires sacrifice and often extreme discomfort. That’s tough for the poor ego to accept. 

It’s no wonder so many people just can’t cope with life and fall apart.  They cannot stand the anxiety. You are part of the crew trying to help, and you know what a cruel master mithya is. How hopeless life can seem. You also know what the game is all about. You are one of the very lucky ones who has been given the map out of the madness. This is what matters, hold onto it. You are not lost. You are on track. Did you know that the quickest route to the wrong place is a straight road?  If you are not on a bumpy winding dirt road once in a while, you may think you are not lost and all is good.  But are you found?

The self-deception is the false spiritual  belief that your supposed to be happy, secure, comfortable and together, all the time, or you can’t be ‘enlightened’. Self-knowledge does not remove life challenges, it just changes how you relate to them. As the Self, karma does not come to you and so you do not suffer stress, confusion and anxiety.

Try to be grateful, I know it’s hard when your jiva life seems to be imploding. Be kind to your(not)self, it’s having a very hard time.  One thought at a time, trust the process unfolding even as the ego hates and resists it. See the resistance, the tightness and inner chaos. Stand as the Self. The way forward will clear up. It has to because you are always there, shining.

When things seem dark, remember to face the sun. Know that you are the source of its light, all light. And you are always shining, no matter how many clouds turn the sky grey. Remind yourself that Isvara has your back, always, especially when it seems to be so otherwise. “I take care of all your getting and your keeping”, says Krishna. We should add: “I also take care of all your remembering and forgetting, and all your losing’.  Sometimes, what we lose is more important than what we keep. 

Much love

Sundari