Section 3 of my Sunday 14th Zoom Satsang
I will wrap up the discussion on negating likes and dislikes with the four stages of surrender, which will hopefully clarify what it means to practice karma yoga and truly surrender to Isvara, the true meaning of humility. And then after that, a few recommendations.
1. Always Reactive
The lowest level, where most worldly people live and suffer – is total reactivity, full activation of likes and dislikes, which is considered ‘normal’. Endless blowback karma, suffering, agitation. The nervous system is mostly stuck in fight or flight mode – rajas and tamas. You have become really good at being anxious because you so often do not get what you want or avoid what you don’t want. You are actually living life like a scared rabbit. Being anxious has become a binding vasana – a problem in itself quite apart from what causes it. It’s an ingrained and binding habit. Sattva eludes you, you are never able to truly relax even if you take time to do so. You never feel safe and life is a constant battle. Even if you do get what you want, it’s never quite right or not what you want for long. You are never satisfied. What you really want is the blessed relief of removing the dam wall (the blockages or likes and dislikes) holding back from everything you cannot deal with, but you don’t even know it’s there, and keep adding reinforcements. You live life heading for the grave stressed, totally defended, in desire, denial and fear. Better luck next time, scared little rabbit.
2. Suppression
One step up. You have gained a measure of maturity and learned how to dodge blowback karma by suppressing your likes and dislikes. You do this by avoiding all conflict or simply stuffing it down deeper into the unconscious. Perhaps you have done some work on the mind via therapy, or you have found ‘spirituality’, and learned to meditate and slow down somewhat. Many people in this stage have spiritual vasanas but are not developed enough and are drawn to religions or cults that tell them what to do. In a way this is better than level one because you seemingly live a more peaceful life. Trying to be a good person makes you feel virtuous, but offers no true satisfaction. You may succeed at karma yoga, meditation and devotional practice, maybe even high spiritual states.
But internally you have not even acknowledged how strong your psychological dam wall is, so your inner critic will be eating you alive. You waste a lot of energy trying to keep it quiet and trying to do life well because you do not want to deal with the wounded inner child or shadow side of your psyche. Here is where karma yoga really counts and could save you. Karma yoga is an attitude born of faith in the true nature of life and of therefore, of God, that allows us to take action appropriately, without taking on the existential burden of wanting things to be a certain way. It manages our likes and dislikes, thus negating the egoic doer what wants what it wants when it wants it. We live in gratitude instead of dissatisfaction knowing that whatever is or is not unfolding, we trust that Isvara is taking care of our karma.
But karma yoga is not about not doing. We don’t get off the hook by avoiding what we don’t want to look at or should be doing because that seems safer. We cannot save our lives by never risking them. It is actually better to screw up. At least if we do, we have something to work with. Often it is suffering that drives us inward. The tamas of deep denied denial is an awful, and very hungry, demon to live with. Best get it over with and deal with it.
3. Rationalizing/Accepting
The next level is acceptance, accommodation, which is moving in the right direction, and definitely a step up from outright denial and suppression. Reaching this stage means you have gained a measure of wisdom, and developed confidence, so you will have a much better life. You are cognizant of your likes and dislikes and you manage them by rationalizing them. You are not actually surrendering them, even with karma yoga, though you think you are. The cause of the likes and dislikes, the deeper blockages or dam wall, may still be there, pretty much intact. There may still be a wounded inner child lurking about wanting to be acknowledged and loved, though you have learned greater self-acceptance. You have worked out a modus operandi to live with the internal voices, and the inconsistencies of life and other people, are good at compromise. You shrug your shoulders and say ‘so what?’ it’s not real and it’s not me. It may be a spiritual bypass, but you avoid a lot of blowback karma. You like yourself more and are liked by most people.
As a worldly person, this is about as good as it gets. As an inquirer your life is greatly improved but you will still get thrown by things or feel confused, uncertain, at times. Something is still missing, and the disturbing inner voices can and often do, come back. You may be Self-realized, a good karma yogi, but what you cannot see is that you are still stuck behind the dam wall, if not entirely, partially. Love is there, but the bliss that is your true nature never flows fully as the natural and untamed river it truly is because you still have blockages. Radical self-love and full surrender to Isvara has not taken place, though you may believe it has, or convinced yourself it’s unimportant. There are still active likes and dislikes which disturb the mind, but you normalize them and the suffering that comes with them.
4. Total Surrender – True Humility
The final stage of doer negation and the signature indication that Self-knowledge has obtained comes only when you have learned the meaning of humility. That usually does not come before the edifice of the ego has cracked open and crumbled. And that is always extremely painful and turns your life on its head. I can attest to this as I have been through it. It is not for the faint of heart.
In the west we don’t easily understand the true meaning of humility, nor its importance as the hallmark of a surrendered ego. As I have said before but needs to be repeated, there is no true karma yoga and certainly no moksa without humility, let alone any assimilation of nonduality. What is so amazing about ignorance is that people become inquirers, even adept at reciting the scriptures, without even realizing that they have no real intention of negating the ego, though they may give it lip service. One wonders if such people ever had any idea that the basis of moksa is relinquishing the ego identity. But in fact the opposite seems to be true. Some inquirers take on nonduality to enlarge or maintain their superiority as an ego. We have seen this drama unfold many times, and it is always a head scratcher, but that is how hard wired ignorance is.
If the student is properly qualified they will have the humility to have total faith in the teachings, and thus submit to the teacher in trust as its representative. If the teacher is qualified, meaning they have totally objectified their ego, there is never a question of the student being right. Isvara in the form of the teacher/Isvara is the only trusted authority. Rightness only belongs to the scripture.
How do you know if a teacher has actualized their ego and is qualified to teach you nonduality? They will teach you as the Self and not as an ego; they will teach according to the scripture and not their interpretation of it; they will make it very clear upfront that the nondual scripture has nothing to do with them; they may help you to correct your psychological blockages but will not allow or encourage any dependence on them; they will make themselves redundant as soon as possible; they will live the teachings and be a role model for them. Most importantly, they inspire confidence by teaching you in the spirit of friendship and equality.
If such a teacher manifests for you, count yourself among the very fortunate. And if they hand out a tough lesson for your ego, take it as a blessing directly from God. You do not give it to your ego, if freedom from it is your main aim. Of course we need discrimination in surrendering to a teacher as truly qualified Vedanta teachers are very rare indeed. The problem many inquirers have in the West, particularly where the tradition of Vedanta does not include taking the vow of chastity or donning the robes of the renunciate, is making the mistake of confusing the teacher with the person. When the ease of friendship allows such openness, personal devotion to a teacher as a friend can lead to judging them as a person. We see this often.
To understand better the true nature of the teacher/student relationship, read Ben’s excellent satsang on the topic:
To surrender to Isvara means we give up the need to be right about anything. And I mean ANYTHING. The need to be right anywhere is the hallmark of ignorance/duality, of binding likes and dislikes, and the harbinger of suffering. Please note that it is the need to be right that is the problem, not being right. Without fail we sacrifice happiness if we need to be right. If we cannot do this, we will never practice true karma yoga and never be able to walk away from our likes and dislikes. They own us.
We have seen inquirers espousing karma yoga and ostensibly practicing jnana yoga, suffer deeply from hurt feelings which they nurture and hold onto, especially when the ego gets a big hit. Clearly, there never was any real karma yoga or guna yoga in practice, no faith in the teachings or teacher, thus no assimilation of nonduality. The egoic identity, the one we all want to be free of, rules the mind. The teachings of Vedanta are not just words we throw into our heads. They are powerful living truths. We either live them and experience freedom, or we don’t.
So what is true humility ?
True humility is neither debasing yourself nor obsequious devotion to a teacher or teaching. It is not based on blind faith or allegiance to the teachings. It is based on faith in the nondual teachings pending your own investigation. It is complete and automatic surrender to Isvara in the form of every experience as it appears to you in every moment of your existence. There are no bad results. You accept all results as benign and never doubt that everything that comes to you is love in action, Isvara speaking to you directly. No matter how hard the lesson. Especially then. That was my takeaway from the experience I had recently, which was very painful, and I am so grateful for it. The freedom that came with that cannot be quantified.
It’s not that tough things don’t happen, blissful or hurtful feelings do not appear, or that you don’t have preferences or desires that you may or may not act on. You transact normally with life and follow your svadharma as well as universal dharma, impeccably. But none of it has the power to hold sway over your mind. The prison door of your mind is no more. The egoic identity has been vanquished. You can act out on a preference, there is no problem with that. But as karma yoga is automatic, you are no longer upset in the slightest if you cannot get what you want. You acknowledge strong emotions but you never let them lead. You let them pass on through the mind. You are the bliss of love, undefended and open. The dam wall is gone. There is nothing to stop love flowing from you and to you. This stage can be attained even without Self-actualization, though in essence, it is moksa. I know people who naturally apply this without being fully cognizant of their true nature as the Self. They just live it.
You can, too. Right NOW.
How? Hold Onto What is Not Moving
We all want the spiritual highs. Those exquisite moments when we are released from bondage to this body mind, one with the ocean of expansive Oneness of our true nature.
But the problem is I chase this as though it was something other than me. Something that will save me from the drudgery of being me. Small me, that is.
I am never small me. I don’t need any special experience to experience ‘Big’ me. Even drudgery will do. Cleaning the house or doing the ironing. I am always experiencing Big me. But little me has me fooled into believing I am flawed limited little me.
What to do? Well, inquiry of course, into whose who and what’s what, with a valid independent means of knowledge. Vedanta is that.
So here is a helpful tip to help things along.
Hold onto what is not moving.
Sound crazy? It’s not. As long as we are awake and alive, everything in our field of experience is always moving, changing. Nothing stays the same, not even for a second. That is how the field of experience is designed. Our thoughts and feelings change constantly as does every atom in our body and in the field of life change constantly.
This is why we need to sleep. Merciful sleep shuts down the mind so it’s is no longer plugged into and dragged along by unceasing movement.
But unmoving big Me is always present. Awake or asleep, drudgery or high state, I witness everything coming and going. I never move or change. I never come or go.
When you feel lost and the world is too much with you, hold onto what is not moving.
Me. I am always here.
If you are Self-realized but not actualized, and you truly live this way, it will take care of residual ignorance. You will not care much either way, because you will be very happy. If you keep at it, your life becomes an effortless devotional practice. You will find that you no longer get hurt or injured (at least, not for long) even if hurtful things show up at your door. The karma is understood, processed and not ignored, but it doesn’t come to you, the witness. It goes to the jiva, and as you know you are the witness and not the ego, all experiences can pass through you without leaving a trace.
Once the last bit of egoic identity gives in to humility, you will notice that you have no ignorance or knowledge. You will forever protect the scripture by living it, and if it is your svadharma, passing it on. But you are not a teacher, and you have no teacher, no teaching, and no problems. You were never unenlightened so you are not suddenly enlightened. You are Existence shining as Consciousness, that which is always good. You live a normal life, and it is always satisfying with all its ups and downs, whether you get what you want or not. You know that none of it is real, but you honor its apparent existence and interact and transact with life happily, not for happiness.
And it’s no big deal.
Sundari
