Hi Ramji,
I just wanted to say you don’t need to answer the previous email, as something strange and wonderful has happened I already know the answers.
The bliss that comes and goes and the knowledge “I am awareness” are non-different from myself…awareness…it seems. (1) I no longer feel excitement when I contemplate on the self, and something tells me that I am the self. I have this wonderful feeling that I don’t care and it doesn’t matter that I don’t care. As though everything the humanity insists is important fjust isn’t important at all. It seems I am what I’m attending to. A wonderful feeling of accomplishment and desirelessness has overtaken me.
(2) I am truly all the answers to all the questions I ever wanted to understand and this is the meaning of “I am what I am looking for” or “it’s just you”! Words are supremely unimportant and I feel that I have nothing I need to ask from life. I am dispassion itself. Somehow by asking you the questions in the previous email, that feeling of boredom from not doing has evaporated.
James: Knowing what you are is normal. Caring is a quality of a pure mind. You are the awareness of caring. What “humanity” wants doesn’t exist because humanity is an inert concept, incapable of fear or want. The feeling of accomplishment exists because you have accomplished all that anyone needs to accomplish. Desirelessness is your nature. How can you be bored if you are free of duality? You are the answer to everything.
Lifting Off
I already knew the answer was to continue applying the knowledge that nothing could be added to an already full being and yet I didn’t think that I would BE the answer, and so soon, although thinking about it my mind was lifting off from itself altogether and establishing itself in the spiritual sky. It just seems the knot is finally loosened as I have a strong feeling of being guilt free as though I could do absolutely nothing and be okay with that. If only people understood just how important it is to know that “should, would, supposed to, have to, must, could have” etc. are moot concepts.
James: They are moot because you, awareness, are timeless fullness. There is no tomorrow apart from the concept of tomorrow. The mind merges (“lifts off”) into its source when the knowledge “I am ordinary awareness” is unassailable.
Dispassion and Death
I understand why dispassion is such an important qualification now. I feel as though I’m dead but in a very nice way. Acceptance of the unlimited reality of life is death indeed. All is well, truly. Funnily enough I had a vision of a grain of sand in my mind’s eye and it seems that grain has indeed disappeared now because the one who sees it is unlimited. If there is no ‘there’ there then there’s no ‘here’ here. Just one existence and confidence in that fact is truly all we need to trust in. I have often heard you say and write about the need to be confident in seeing oneself as awareness and at a certain point this is all we need concern ourselves with. Thank you for the umpteenth time Ramji for being you.
James: You’re welcome. Congratulations! Give yourself a pat on the back for sticking with it. God is great!
P.S. And the best part is the two words “it seems.” Giving oneself wiggle room indicates intelligence and humility. Although there is nothing more to come, there is always more to come.
