Dear Ramji and Sundari.
Thanks a lot for the book The Yoga of Relationships. It helps me a lot. With the crisis in my relationship, I found that the problem is really in me. I have a samskara related to relationships, the search for love, that needs to be worked on.
I think that until very recently I saw relationships as a fundamental to be able to move around the field of Existence. I bet all the chips on a love from outside. I had the idea that without a partner, I could never feel complete. And that partner should give me the love that I didn’t have in my childhood. And by the grace of Ishvara, I failed.
I did 10 years of therapy to learn how I could live a fake normal life. And Vedanta shows me that I was like a zombie. I need to learn how to walk, how to speak, how to be transparent, how to be honest, how to be true. I need to give up everything—my beliefs and opinions—I believed was normal until today. My beliefs and opinions.
Once in a satsang you said we need to enter the Self naked. I fell emotional but in another satsang you said being emotional is not good. I feel that it activates tamas in me. I feel heavy and lost. I understand that I feel emotional because I still want to resist. So I try to apply the knowledge: there is nothing to fear, there is nothing to wish for, I am already complete. And I try also to apply Karma Yoga.
It is as if until now, I had only played with spirituality and from now on it is no longer possible to play. It is no longer possible to pretend. Ishvara asks me for significant offerings.
Hi Rosaria,
You are in the middle of a life crisis, discovering that you have been living a lie. They call it a “dark night of the soul.” It is a big shock. The emotional feeling is natural. It is good. And the job in front of you is a big job; how to rebuild your life properly from the beginning. So things will be a bit overwhelming for a while. But now you have Vedanta, a road map to show you how to live an authentic life, to inspire you. It is good work and you will love yourself more and more as you take responsibility for your happiness. Nobody else can make you happy. We support you 100%. Isvara will give you the courage to move forward.
Much love,
James
