Dear Ramji,
It is such a delight to be with you every week. Thank you and Sundari for making yourselves so available in spite of all the technical hoops you have to deal with. The teachings are pure gold. I am looking forward to the Panchadasi. It has been my scripture reading every morning for the past four years, alternated with the Guna book. It takes a year to go through it, slowly assimilating every nugget.
I always found life to be an adventure but now, with much more dispassion and discrimination, it is truly a play I am watching. When the struggling and the controlling slows to a crawl the quality of Jiva’s experience is enhanced. Everything seems crystal clear. When the mind starts being decluttered of past, future, worry, fear… there is space and ease.
It seems that the momentum has slowed so that when a harmful thought ( to myself or others) comes up, a red light appears- Immediately it is obvious that it doesn’t serve anything good, and it is discarded. That sort of thing used to be deliberately forced by the knowledge. But more and more it seems to happen by itself like a reset button that has been programmed (it has- with much effort!)
Of course , there are still moments. But they too are seen for what they are, and they go to the waste basket with a smile. The same smile seems to be growing for others. There is more room for compassion, much less irritation, turbulence, or incrimination about strange behaviors. Ignorance is the cause, so why fret?
Knowledge “sees through” existence. It is I. There is love for the apparent world like never before. It used to be loved for its beauty and feared for its danger, known and unknown.
But now it is, well, I. It’s different. There is no fear- and no expectations. And no need to tell (no more story, speech is restrained) Knowledge heals.
So now the question is: is this a sign of simply being established in Satva? Or is it that actualization is slowly taking place with nididhyiasana? It doesn’t seem to be just Satva. I have lived a static life for quite a while now. This seems like – health, wholeness, a quiet and simple ease. It does not have a Me in it. It’s empty. Does that make sense?
With loving gratitude
James: It makes perfect sense, Donna. Good for you! It’s self actualization. You can’t do nididhyasana if the mind isn’t predominantly sattvic. Isvara is great indeed!
Much love,
James
