Inquirer: Something unexpected happened a few weeks ago. I felt “a presence”… nothing dramatic, no bells or whistles, no particular form, just ordinary, and then it seemed to come to rest in my heart. I immediately “understood” it as Ishvara although of course, I know that Ishvara doesn’t have a particular form or location and isn’t separate from the jiva.
James: Great! You deserve it. Ishvara’s “particular form” is presence, Shanti. Your consistent sadhana over the last few years installed Ishvara’s presence in your “heart.”
Inquirer: Since then, experientially, there is a difference. Nothing sensational, very quiet. Just a knowing of “closeness” to God. It feels good :). Dare I say it, it’s a feeling of wholeness, of peace.
James: Closeness is called samipya in Sanskrit. It means that there is enough sattva in your mind these days to make the bliss of awareness constant in your mind, a “background” energy so to speak. It is also called Ishvara bhakti.
Inquirer: On a practical level, I’ve noticed that my obsession with food has diminished! Something I’ve struggled with for some years.
James: Loss of various obsessions is a sign that you are satisfied within.
Inquirer: I’ve never sought positive or affirmative spiritual experiences because I understood at an early age that no experience lasts. I’ve only ever sought the ending of suffering and therefore peace. So, I am confident that my mind hasn’t generated this particular experience from a vasana desiring it. I just wondered what you might have to say about it. Am I kidding myself? Does it matter?
James: It’s not a fantasy, Shanti. It’s real. It should give you confidence to continue, perhaps intensify your sadhana. It’s good to share it with me, keeping in mind the fact that self-delusion is always a possibility.
Om and Prem
James
