This is an email to a decent, intelligent life coach who thinks of himself as a committed seeker of freedom but is seemingly unaware of how his shadow self…the Duryodhana factor…is always at work in the background. The “normal” fears and insecurities grow nicely in the shade and more often than not manifest as strong opinions, in this case an argumentative conspiracy-orientated mentality, which doesn’t work well in relationships, particularly relationships with self-aware people. Eventually, however, ShiningWorld’s policy supporting masking, social distancing and vaccine mandates caused him to question his relationship to me and our relationship gradually deteriorated.
When I decided to unilaterally terminate it, I predictably joined the ranks of the abusive authoritarians who provide easy hooks on which to hang one’s projections, not that some old white guys are not responsible for a fair share of the world’s miseries. I just don’t happen to be one of them. He obviously did not take his termination in the karma yoga spirit and learn from it, which would have strengthened our relationship, but he went at me with a vengeance, which confirmed my understanding that his idea of our relationship needed a bit of work and bolstered the idea that letting Maya teach him was a wise decision.
When you are not working daily on uncomfortable tendencies because you are obsessed with security, pleasure, power, fame or virtue you probably have no real friends because you don’t know how to love. I wrote this letter some time ago and it may have struck a positive chord because our relationship, such as it was, stopped on his side. Thanks be to God. In the end, the cause of most of our miseries is a lack of love, which usually starts in childhood because many parents don’t really know how to love. They “have” children as one has objects and madly set out to secure the child’s future with “generational wealth,” which translates as neglect from the child’s perspective. Parent’s primary duty is to model a loving relationship and show unconditional love for their children, which translates as a strong sense self-confidence, which in turn allows their offspring to confidently face life’s innumerable challenges large and small.
There is nothing “personal” about life unless you take it personally. There is only one life threatening virus…ignorance of one’s wholeness…and one reliable vaccine, Self. inquiry guided by scripture. What we call people is just blissful existence shining as consciousness momentarily bewitched by Maya.
Dear Self,
Even though love is your nature, you are a lonely person because you don’t know how to love properly. If you did, you wouldn’t write such a passive-aggressive email to me.
(Of course you don’t agree)
If you knew how to love, you would have seen that taking issue with ShiningWorld’s view about the vaccine, etc. was inappropriate. You would have taken it gladly as Isvara speaking because, as you know, Isvara is everything that is, meaning what you like and what you don’t like. So you haven’t mastered the first stage of karma yoga much less the second stage.
(Of course you don’t agree)
If you knew how to love yourself you would be so fascinated with a rich inner life as it unfolds by God’s grace that you would be completely uninterested in coaching others. People would be attracted to your radiance when you go shopping or do other ordinary activities and would come to you just for the pleasure of your company.
(Of course you don’t agree)
If you knew how to love, your mind would be subtle enough to hear Isvara’s gentle voice responding to your offerings. Karma yoga is continually offering your thoughts to Isvara and observing Isvara’s will as it leads you to self love.
(Of course you don’t agree)
If you knew how to love, you would have become your own best friend and you would be able to tell the difference between your small self’s needy fearful opinionated voice and Isvara’s compassionate words.
(Of course you don’t agree)
If you knew how to love you would understand how you are working against yourself and the seed of humility would sprout from within.
(Of course you don’t agree)
If you knew how to love, you would see the words of the teacher as Isvara’s words, including carefully contextualized opinions, and have a good laugh with the teacher and at yourself for your pigheadedness.
(Of course you don’t agree)
If you knew how to love, your life would be centered around your spirituality, not your spirituality around your life. When you get a short break after “a long period of very demanding professional requirements” and “have some breathing space”
then you want to deal with a “spiritual” issue, which is fixing your relationship with me. Our relationship isn’t spiritual at all. It was polite and friendly at first and devolved into one big argument when the virus and the vaccine awakened the primal fear.
(Of course you don’t agree)
If you knew how to love, you would know that Vedanta defines love that which is free of the need for love objects as your nature. Where are disagreements when you know that love is all there is?
(Of course you don’t agree)
If you knew how to love, you would not expect me to understand you, you would know that only you can understand yourself with the help of the teaching and the teacher.
(Of course you don’t agree)
If you knew how to love, you would have compassion for that small voice inside that is crying for love. What use is your money, comfortable lifestyle, and paid-for respect if you are not happy in love?
(Of course you don’t agree)
If you knew how to love….
That’s enough. If you reply, which you probably won’t, I will only answer if you say, “Thank you. I needed that. I am a selfish argumentative person. I am ready to start over. I will click the New to Vedanta link on the home page and follow the program like the thousands of others who appreciate the value of Vedanta and don’t have issues with Isvara, the teacher.
Love,
James
