Dear James
Each morning as I sit with my meditation practice reflecting on the teachings and how they impact my daily existence, you and Sundari come to mind. It is amazing how the teaching keeps revealing itself. Sometimes the mirror is less sattvic than other times and questions or slight confusions arise. It is at those times that I would want to reach out to you for either clarification or confirmation.
However, with time and practice, I have come to realize that you have provided me the tools and means to be my own guru. I seem to recall you saying that we are all our own guru. As I said in the past, you have been my only guru and in spite of your comments, you have been exactly who or what I needed.
As an aside, unlike yourself, I did not go to India looking for god. India happened to be in the path of my returning home from what was to be a three-year trip around the world but in the process, I believe God found me. The trip brought to light what I have come to realize has been an eternal quest. I believe that quest has come to an end because of you and how you have conveyed the teaching. What blessing, what grace! I am eternally grateful.
I recently read your book Mystic By Default and found your description in the first chapter where you described your first visit to India brought back my own experience in 1989, just a few years after yours. Your description was exactly as I recall. It was like we were there together. I was glad you never spoke specifically about your many “mystical” experiences in your other books and I am glad I never read about them until recently because I don’t think hearing them would have been useful to my learning.
You have expressed your desire to disown our relationship, in part because you are obviously so busy maintaining the Shiningworld website, teaching, doing satsangs, and writing books (I don’t know how you do it). As well you have said that you have your friends and are not in need of more. I am trying to respect your wishes but confess it is difficult because you so often come to mind during my morning sittings, not as the guru but a friend (and as you have said), one who is trusted to speak the truth when it is necessary and when it is kind.
I have made a little donation, maybe enough to feed your cacti for a few months?
John
Hi John,
Thank you for the lovely email. I’m glad that you have taken responsibility for teaching yourself. You have the knowledge. The whole point of Vedanta is to empower people to live independently. I’m happy to count you as a friend and answer REAL questions on relevant topics. What pisses me off is irrelevant questions on non-essential topics. As you now realize, it is inconsiderate. You should be able to dismiss your doubts on your own with reference to the knowledge of satya and mithya considering how long you have been exposed to Vedanta. I can’t baby people with small talk forever. Many others require my services. A teacher is a temporary psychological aid.
I forget where this whole thing started…a question about reincarnation, I think…which isn’t an essential topic and which I’ve explained and dismissed in many books, seminars and videos. I define it as identification with a thought and dismissing the reality of thoughts as freedom. When you identify with a thought/emotion you become enslaved, born into it and when you surrender it to Isvara you die to it and it dies to you. Jivas are born and die countless times daily. Secondly, the person you are conditioned to believe is you, is never going to reappear on earth once the body dies. That person gets one birth and one birth only. In so far as you think you’re that guy you better not fritter away precious time. It’s not auspicious to end up like my father who, on his deathbed, said, “Too soon old, too late smart.” The eternal jiva, which is non-different from you, existence shining as ever-full awareness, SEEMINGLY transmigrates, meaning it doesn’t get a new identity when the body dies. That self presently masquerades as John. It never was born. If you identify AS that, the loss of a body at death is meaningless.
Anyway, I’m sorry I had to make your life a bit difficult but it was necessary to call your attention to my needs. I’m not a humorless curmudgeon, but I’m serious about what I do and I don’t waste time with non-essential stuff. It’s great that you learned the lesson. Your email shows that you passed the test! Gold star!
Much love,
Ram
