Ramji,
Greetings I hope all is well. Wanted to tell you about an interesting development in the unraveling of jiva’s samskaras that has slowly been taking place during my struggle to actualize Self knowledge.
After our last exchange it seemed clear to me that it was time to shit or get off the pot. And, as returning to samsara is not an option well… you get the picture.
As you said “what good is honesty if you can’t discipline the mind”. Having finally overcome the pain of attachment to marriage and family I decided the best way to cultivate a pure mind and give myself a shot at putting a knife through my last binding vasanas was to reestablish myself in karma yoga. So I made a commitment to myself to make myself available when called upon in whatever way so long as I was not creating dependency or indulging in a need for validation for my efforts. Let God be in charge, my reward is in Him alone so that He may release me from the entanglements I have been powerless to overcome.
As a result my mind quickly began to find a measure of peace again. The feeling of loneliness left me and I found myself engaged in helping around one of the larger annual ceremonies. Not as a spiritual leader but helping with the logistics, manual labor; that sort of thing. Keeping my mouth shut, being of service.
As it turns out the jealousy and hatred that has been percolating in the background since my mentor’s passing came to a head and I was told that I am no longer welcome in the circle. In short the fundamentalist power-seeking charlatans have taken over.
For a hot second I was offended but then I remembered — action without attachment to the result. So it appears Isvara has now completed dismantling everything I knew life to be. I am still open to being of service, although I don’t know what form it will take.
Ram: The world is a lot bigger than the ceremonial crowd. It is just people with priorities and values. When a person wants something, think about whether it will actually serve them spiritually according to Vedanta and if the answer is yes, consider giving them a hand, but make no promises. If they are just needy wankers looking for an enabler, politely decline. Sorry, I’m can’t help. God bless you. That’s it. Time only moves forward. You can never go back. Karma yoga and jnana yoga are the only ceremonies. No sweart lodges, burning sage sticks and or beating drums. This discriminating attitude is a silent ceremony in the Heart.
Rupert: But as a result of releasing my attachment to this role I feel even happier than before. I continue to meditate on the self and feel a sincere desire to be relieved of these final binding vasanas. Not because I want to be a goody goody, but because they are nothing but engrained dopamine delivery systems that are in place merely to cope with life, rather than actually resolve stress. I believe God can work this miracle. Thank you as always for your guidance and compassion.
James: You sure can turn a phrase — engrained dopamine delivery systems! That’s the truth. If God can’t manage it, we’re out of luck
Love you.
