Ramji,
Thanks! I understand what you say about Vedanta.
As you see, the mind is getting subtler and subtler. But I find the world, the life, somehow not so funny as you. I feel it somehow boring.
The boredom is on time. It looks like the I, that is already full and complete, wait for something to happen. You know this play? Wait for Godot, from Beckett? The characters wait for something that will never happen… And as I know that this something will not happen, it makes the life even more boring.
On the last seminar you talked about self-esteem. I think you said that you could somehow detach from an idea of an identity with the Jiva because you have self-esteem. Someone with low self-esteem has the feeling that he or she needs always to add something. Is that right?
I am thinking about the relation between this boredom and self-esteem… Not to solve the self-esteem, but to go beyond it. I am trying to detach myself from this boredom feeling. To find the button that turn off the dissatisfaction, the emptiness, the expectation that something will happen. I must understand how to live it…
It is funny to think that we live thinking that Isvara is inaccessible. What is really inaccessible, impossible, is that desire to feel complete, satisfied acting like a Jiva.
Love,
Dear X
Ask yourself, “To whom does the boredom belong? To jiva or to me, Awareness?” Then ask yourself, “Am I free to choose my identity?” If the answer is yes, then ask, “What is the right choice?” If you make the right choice the boredom disappears. Choosing rightly is living it.
Love,
Ramji
