Dear Sundari, Dear Ramji,
A few years ago I recognized the perfection in everything, in the good and the bad and that nothing has to be attained. In the next moment I gave my life to Ishvara and said: from now on you take care of my problems and this person, as I was not good in it anyway in fixing it. (It is amazing how good this works).
Since then everything is the same for me. Whatever situation is coming, whatever feelings are coming, it is all the same. I can claim that although life has become very rough since then. In spite of all the ups and downs, there is a beauty in everything and every situation. The person is experienced as an ever melting entity and that is beautiful. But I never related or thought about all that as “awakening”.
Looking around in the spiritual world I thought they are all wrong because they all want to get somewhere. Also my friends could not understand me. In the knowing that nothing can be gained and nothing can be lost, I left the spiritual world.
When I first heard a talk of Ramji on Youtube is struck me: Wow, that’s it! Those people know what they are talking about. Since then Vedanta is fascinating and a constant companion. It is a reliable map for the usually subjective spiritual world and helps to put everything into its place.
In spite of all that, I have a problem with saying I am consciousness because it creates an idea in the mind. Whether I am a jiva or consciousness is not relevant for me as it is all the same anyway. I don’t have a problem with being a jiva. Nevertheless I practice to take a stand in awareness. It is helpful in the everyday life and to deal with attachments and identifications. I am curious what you say about that.
With love and gratitude,
X…..
Ramji: You are absolutely correct that it doesn’t matter if you are a jiva or consciousness because Scripture says, “jivo brahmaiva na parah,” there is no difference between a jiva and consciousness. One ray of light is not different from the totality of the sun’s rays. And the sun’s rays are not different from the sun. It is the nature of the sun to shine. Saying “I am” means I shine and the world shines after me.
When you see the identity between the individual and the total, there is only one option: turn your life over to Isvara, who has been making it happen all along. So you don’t need Vedanta for that reason as well. Your reason is the same as my reason: Isvara does a better job than jiva. Jiva’s job is to just be. Isvara takes care of what happens. Freedom is not an either/or. It is both/and. Some people imagine that the jiva doesn’t exist but it doesn’t exist as anything other than consciousness. If a person thinks he or she is separate from consciousness he or she isn’t a real jiva. Jiva is one name, consciousness/awareness is another. I am the knower of both, which means that I am neither. The known is the knower but the knower is not the known. But jiva and awareness, knower and known are valuable words at some point because they remove ignorance of myself.
So you don’t need to take a stand as awareness but you are certainly free to do so. Being awareness doesn’t mean that you can’t assert your identity if it pleases you to do so. If there is any restriction at all then you, existence shining as awareness, aren’t free. I’m glad you wrote. I love to hear how people come to Vedanta and how it serves the world. It is a gift that keeps on giving.
Again, thanks for the recurring donations. We had a lot of difficulty get the security protocols right here in Spain. I was continually locked out of my account and had to go into town and speak to a bank officer every time so I didn’t know who was making donations except occasionally when the banker made a copy of my statement for me. Finally, it is all working well now. No need to change anything.
Finally, I love the story about your mother. You don’t need a memory to be happy. In fact, a memory can be a big problem. I went with a friend to visit his aged mother who had Alzheimer’s. He told her a joke and she laughed heartily. Then he told her the same joke a few seconds later and she laughed just as loud the second time. The Self is bliss. It is intelligent. It is out of time. Life is always a big joke.
Much love,
Ramji
