Dear Kate,
I hope you know how much your companionship and teaching mean to me on this journey. I take such strength and comfort from both, and such pleasure in your strong honest nature, your curiosity which helps make such space for others to be inquisitive in, your deep learning and sisterhood and your generosity of spirit in sharing so freely. I am grateful and joyful in great and equal measure for your presence.
I am not sure I’ve ever had a grand plan, maybe some very tiny occasional attempts but much of it has felt like just sailing along, meeting whatever winds and currents along the way or sometimes as though being suddenly dragged ‘off course’ by some treacherous current and then, of course, one reacts.
And what is the teaching? I play with this a lot as I simply don’t fully understand yet…when you are already whole and complete then you can still be left with the questions about what is the point of volition…does it matter what I do as long as I truly feel this? Do I need to ‘do’ anything, shall I simply float on the current or should I kick out my legs and arms and swim for a shore of my choosing? It is perhaps the case that both are valid and it’s simply a case of one’s discerning choice over the two at different times. I find thinking about the concept of ‘wu wei’ very helpful in thinking about these things.
Yes these thoughts of worthiness, doingness, achievement they can plague us, perhaps they’re the shackles we seek to free ourselves from…moral imperatives so long learned. Can you imagine the weight of the propaganda machine we’ve been subjected to since birth. To see a glimmer of any truth beyond this is indeed perhaps a grand life’s ‘work’.
I am always trying to remember that I’m a human ‘being’ not a human ‘doing’
So much love dear Kate,
Judy xxx
P.s the word ‘bridges’ in yin and then again in meditation were so helpful and wonderful
~
Dear Judy,
Thank you for your fine crafted words.
A solace that a heart and mind may recognise the ebb and flow of life’s journey as the ability to take the bitter with the sweet. Wisdom gains and lies in the evolution of my reactions to those ‘treacherous’ moments indeed – the crux of understanding, how much have I assimilated thus far?
Do I keep reacting from the same core wound? Perhaps I need more knowledge of said wounds and how they show up as road blocks to living fully and freely.
With time and revelation personally I’m investigating and learning from the common unstable family structures of our western cultures, which can leave gaps in proper nurturance, protection and guidance and therefore add challenges to truly actualising, living and ‘feel’ as you say one’s whole and complete nature. It requires willingness and bravery, and indeed it is subtle. I need a lot of patience, consistency, earnestness, compassion, a love of irony and a sense of humour, – to say the least!
Then how much do I really want to be free? Attachments – sticky and invisible, often hidden in the form of thoughts and beliefs. Not even realising we’re suffering, abnormality is now normal and therefore easy to distract with endless resources at our disposal. All that being said, each with a load to bear and roles to play, so it seems.
You answer the questions so well. Any psychological suffering (often shown in the body) stems from worries of the past and anxiety for the future concerning the results of actions. Actions are limited and finite and never give the result we truly want, which is myself and I always have me. However, discretion in action is wise and useful when I start carefully analysing my own experience to see whether the results of my actions grant peace of mind, are in harmony with goals/values, and give maximum benefit to myself and others. Am I a happy person?
Instead of the feeling of floating or drifting, or that I might suddenly need to swim. Perhaps think of being your own Great Captain of a ‘Sturdy Ship’. Well prepared to weather inevitable storms. That means, this life of understanding What I Am – takes a whole lot of preparation and qualifying oneself, over and over again. “Fortune favors the brave!”. Meet the obstacles with undeniable spirit like you do, otherwise I miss out on the bliss. I don’t embark on a sailing voyage, unless I have the right skills and knowledge and I truly love sailing – meaning do only what’s appropriate to my relative nature.
Therefore the yogas are very important. The body-mind can give all kinds of trouble unless I understand them properly and do what’s necessary to take care of these instruments well, which implies understanding the laws of nature/Isvara, getting in harmony with that and having great faith and trust in it. Not worrying about death or trying to out-smart death.
The great big propaganda machine is called Ignorance and like Existence is beginningless, not subject to birth and death, however, unlike existence it can be negated, seen for what it truly is – not actually real. When I no longer see the serpent, and relax with the revelation of the rope, I see the truth in the false, fear goes away and freedom reigns. Let knowledge guide your life. Learn to see what I am not.
Expect the unexpected because nothing is as it seems. The anticipated may never come. Keep an open mind that’s curious and always fresh.
Below is the meditation on the ‘bridge’ by Swami TV we practised in class and an article on Wu Wei by Rory Mackay.
Enjoy,
Love,
Kate
Om
“Sthira sukham asanam.”
That is the yoga Sutra, an aphorism, very brief but complete. “Sthira sukham asanam.”
There are three words, and the word is always a bridge. Meaning, you hear the word, of course, the meaning flashes in the mind. Then, you reach beyond the word— to the thing.
For example, sthira means “still,” that is about the body. So, keep the body still without any movement except for the breath. That is sthira.
Look at the mechanism one more time. You hear the word sthira, get the meaning “still,” and then reach beyond the word to the body, and keep the body still.
If you do not reach beyond the word, which is possible. Then, the word and its meaning remain as an idea, a concept in the brain, which is not of much value.
Therefore, you should reach beyond the word, always. Sthira—keep the body still. Now, sthira is not a concept anymore; it is the thing.
Sukham is about the mind —relaxed. Sukham means “relaxed.” So you hear the word, word’s meaning, but then you allow the mind to relax.
Sthira sukham—that covers the body and the mind.
Then, what remains after the body and mind? I remain— asanam. Asanam means “to be,” the being— to be.
So, we start with the body, crossover, come to the mind, crossover, and arrive at yourself—asanam—“I be.”
You may begin with the heart—“I be” in the heart. There is nothing to do. It is just—“be.”
This is meditation. This is how you use the word as the bridge to arrive at yourself and then abide in yourself—asanam—“I be.”
In doing so, you have left the body behind.
“I be.” You have left the mind also behind. “I be.” Meaning you have set aside all emotions, and ideas, notions, etcetera. The entire content of the mind is set aside, and you arrive at yourself—“I be.”
This is meditation because the body is still,
the mind is relaxed and quiet, and— “I be.”
This is how the meditation, very simple,
transports you away from the humdrum of the daily life into your own pure being—“I be.” You may even say, “I am.”
That is meditation— “I am.”
Though, I said heart in the beginning. You may notice that the pure— “I am”— is boundless, spaceless, timeless, and it is not the person. It is impersonal. “I am.” Very simple.
Meditation is very simple.
“I be.”
Om
