Dear James,
How are you?
James: Never better!
Inquirer: May I present you with some of my thoughts. It is often somewhat unclear and searching in nature, I apologize for this.
James: Part of my job is clarifying doubts.
Inquirer: I have been doing a meditation every day for some time now. A meditation initiated by you, that starts with a body-scan and leads to the silence of the observer and witness of everything. It works for me as a direction indicator and a reminder of where I need to be.
But I often struggle with the difference between the person doing the meditation and being a witness. As if there are 2 selves. As if I still have to find something. I can now also see that the person doing the mediation can be observed. Actually, one of those selves has already expired here.
James: The observable person doing the mediation is the reflected self. It is the one that has already expired. We know this because the one observing never expires because it is unborn. It is original deathless pure consciousness. Sometimes we say there is a real self and an apparently real self.
Inquirer: Yet there is no resignation in this statement, there remains a search, unclear knowledge and unrest. Is this normal?
James: Yes, the unrest is just a seeking habit. Clear knowledge is “I am unborn existence shining as whole and complete ever-present bliss.” Affirm this to yourself until it chases out the doubt.
Inquirer: I also sometimes wonder if I knew 100% who/what I would be am, would it make a difference to the person I think I am now? Would anything actually happen, if I knew that I was not the person but the conscious being?
James: Yes. When you have doubt-free knowledge, the knowledge purifies the mind of rajas and tamas and the apparent person, the reflected self, becomes very sattvic and radiates peace, joy and confidence.
Inquirer: Is there actually enlightenment for the person and enlightenment of the person?
James: Yes.
Inquirer: What matters is that everything is perceived (as myself) in the end, right? In former mails you advised me to practice Karma Yoga. Now I can see the value of Karma Yoga and am already making progress in that area. Many thanks to you for your attention, and I really appreciate your response.
James: Karma yoga is taking a stand as awareness, seeing the world and your mind as the original Self sees it. Keep everything the same…the meditation, etc…. When you are in meditation seeing the reflected Self, look around inwardly and see if there is a second self watching the reflected self.
You are on the right path. What you need to know will be made clear in the fullness of Isvara’s time.
Love,
James