A Mobile Mirror
Hi James,
The time you are investing is appreciated and the attention seeking Jiva is warmed by your attention. I do not want to ask questions because I never ask questions.
James: More’s the pity. My father used to call it the “hard way.” It seems to me only a stubborn person takes pride in that kind of attitude, when there is a simple easy way available.
I am used to figuring out everything myself. At the age of 47, I am teaching myself Moksha. But, damn, there seems to be something wrong with this Moksha. I do not get it.
James: Yes, indeed. Moksha’s the one thing you can’t teach yourself because moksa is freedom from the one that is teaching itself.
Narcissism creates some really nasty tendencies which are not very constructive on a spiritual path.
James: Isn’t that the truth!
One of them is sometimes being too vain to ask questions.
James: Because you don’t want to appear ignorant? Vedanta attracts a lot of know-it-alls, which isn’t the kiss of death because if, by the grace of God, you get the message, you actually do know it all.
But on the other hand I am not really looking for answers. I am looking for the right questions.
James: Vedanta is all about asking the right questions. But that’s only the first half. Vedanta doesn’t work without someone who knows the answers. You can’t figure out the answer on your own. If you could, there would be no Vedanta. You get the answer that removes all questions when you know what the guru knows.
And therefore I am glad that you asked me some. Already your first question leaves me quite puzzled.
James: You don’t want to ask what to do means that everything is fine?
No, everything is not fine because I do not feel free.
James: So what does free feel like? Feel free to answer or not. Is there anything to do to get free?
No. Intellectually I know that what I really am ever was, is and ever will be free.
James: Intellectually is good but it is only the first step. The proof of the pudding is in the eating, the feeling. So what is that feeling? Hint: it’s not a feeling. Why do you think don’t you feel free then?
Hm. The want to feel free means that I am looking for an experience that proves that I am free.
James: Yes. Which is impossible. Why is it impossible? Suppose you get this experience. How long do you think it will last?
Forever? Well, OK. As long as this Jiva lives?
James: But even then you must admit that it will be limited, right?
Yes.
James: So if it’s limited, is it freedom? Hint: if you don’t know that it doesn’t end when it begins, it isn’t freedom. How do you think a limited entity enjoying a limited experience can validate something limitless, which is what you want if you are looking for an experience of freedom.
Hm, that sounds reasonable. But does that mean that a Jiva is not influenced by Moksha?
James: Yes. There is no moksa for a jiva. If there was any connection between a jiva and the Self, freedom would be impossible. Shankara says, “There is no difference between Jiva and the Self.” Does this statement contradict my statement, “There is no moksa for a jiva?” If not, why? It seems that you want your Jiva to change somehow. Why? Why do you want something to change which you know – at least intellectually as you say – that you are not?
At this point I experienced a short moment of bliss. As if something in my head had been properly sorted out. Hm, this seems to already answer most of your questions, especially the last one. Funny, since that wasn’t my intention.
James: Why does it answer most of your questions and what questions doesn’t it answer?
But I don’t want to cut corners here. When I started this response I intended to list (my) specific vasanas and (my) karma load here. But now I think it would be just a waste of time for both of us. I do not have to work out any Karma because I am beyond that.
James: That’s good. However, you may be beyond karma but why aren’t you beyond ignorance?
Ishvara created this Jiva according to its Karma and Ishvara keeps this Jiva running. And as long as this Jiva is running it is working out its Karma. That’s Ishvara’s law and his business. I have a seat in the back row and watch this show unaffected.
James: So you are the Self?
It’s the ignorance of who or what he really is that sucks up the Jiva’s energy. The difference between rajasic and tamasic people may be the following: Rajasic people totally identify with the body, mind or other objects. Which is great for them in samsara, because that’s what it’s all about in the world of senses. That’s why they usually are quite successful in this world. They happily project in The Projection.
Tamasic people are less projective. Their ignorance is not covered by a projection. There is less identification with the body, mind or other objects but due to that they have nothing to identify with which could attract their energy. Therefore their energy is lost or halfheartedly wasted. Interestingly, Karma Yoga is the cure for both. It helps the rajasic person by directing their projection into the right direction and it helps the tamasic person by giving it something to project onto.
In both cases it’s Ishvara. The maintainer of the universe. The deliverer of the results of actions. And there is this one simple law which the Jiva with its apparent free will has to follow: Do what has to be done when it has to be done how it has to be done. And not knowing what to do is no excuse here. Most of the time you know very well what to do.
And if not, just do and Ishvara will show you afterwards whether it was right or wrong. Not doing is never an option, because there is no not doing. There is only dharmic and adharmic action. And if you continue to act adharmic, well then you have to live with the results. Ishvara is the gun and time its bullet.
James: Very nice synopsis of karma yoga. I particularly enjoyed the distinction between rajas and tamas.
Of course I am beyond all this. From outside it looks like I spontaneously act. But there is no action in action. It’s all changing forms of a projection. Generously I take the shape of smoke so that you can see My ever shining light reflected on Me. I let Maya project all those beautiful forms on Me. Why? Because I can. May this be enough for now.
James: Yes. However, although it’s the interesting, meaningful bit, there is nothing more to say about it. I’ll assume that the words “I can” mean you are free, in so far as there are no changing forms for the I.
Maybe my real intention is just to find out where I stand. I sometimes seem to miss some faith in this. Although I know nowhere else to go there is sometimes a slight fear that this may lead nowhere. (As you notice I am again back in the Jiva trap. I probably was talking too much about this Jiva.)
James: Yes, you are beyond karma and you have the knowledge right. But you need support because it is a confidence issue.
In joyful anticipation of any questions, the body mind complex created and driven by ignorance called Peter.
James: Before I could finish my reply Peter had second thoughts about his email.
Please don’t waste time answering my last email. Too lazy for details now. Hope I will find the right words later.
James: If it’s a waste of time, why did you write it in the first place? It’s not a waste of time from my point of view. I’m enjoying writing it, Peter. I’m taking my time. It’s almost done. It’s an interesting story and we are reaching the conclusion. If you don’t want me to send it, fine, but it’s a mystery and the detective has solved the crime.
You just over-looked one small piece of evidence which is the word “a” modifying the word “jiva.” Shankara’s statement doesn’t say a jiva and the Self are not different. It says jiva and the Self, awareness, are non-different. They are both names of the Self. Jiva indicates the Self with a body and Self indicates the Self without a body. There is no second witness, knower, entity.
Sorry, James. Yes, no effort is wasted in this. You are so right. Would love to read whatever you write.
(James: Owing to other duties, I didn’t complete my answer. I generally reply quickly but some emails are more important than other as far as liberation is concerned so I let my replies sit for a day or two, think about them and then go over the questions again to make sure I didn’t miss the implied meaning if there is one. The following email arrived the next day.)
Hi James,
Although the sky is cloudy this morning, hiding the golden symbol of the Self, the grass is greener today. There is quite a lot to tell. But words are vain. Wish I knew a mantra to thank the Lord.
James: Just say, thank you Lord.
I love the early morning hours, the king of times of day. It began at your seminar in Bad Meinberg in early 2016 when Ishvara started to regularly wake me up at about three to four o’clock in the morning. It happened almost every day since then. What others may call a sleep disorder I soon learned to value, although I was not aware about the significance of it then. I admit that I am usually too lazy to really get up at that time. But nevertheless, the amazingly sattvic state the Jiva is in at that time allowed me to work through the Prasthanatrayi including the Shankara Bhashya in just a year. It just went right into my head. (At least what my head was ready to assimilate at that stage.)
James: Yes, when you understand the value of Vedanta, you become inspired, even if you don’t understand the complete teaching.
This is still the preferred time for reading the scriptures. I consider it two to three times more effective than during any other time of the day. Why I am you bothering with this? This morning Ishvara graciously again woke me up at the right time. Still lying in my bed I was thinking about our conversation and your last email. Then one sentence of yours came to my mind which I noticed then but which I even did not refer to in my loquacious response, “You seem to be very aware of Peter, which makes me assume that you are the Self.”
Suddenly it hit me. How could I be so ignorant? There it was right before my eyes and I hadn’t seen it. After realizing the real meaning behind these words I was suddenly gasping for air. After breathing half way in, my mind was immediately filled with an amazing amount of bliss. I never felt such a bliss before. Oh, wait. Yes, it somehow reminded me of my childhood. Yes, I often must have felt like that as a very young child! It lasted for 30 seconds or maybe a minute. Tears of joy ran down my face.
Still under the influence of this experience soon the intellect came back and began to interpret. It’s not about you or me. It’s not about James or Peter. These Jivas are just vehicles. Chariots. Just tools for the Self to let It recognize Itself in this world of duality. These Jivas are of a noble irrelevance. Since the James Jiva has diligently cleaned his mirror it was pretty easy for the Self to recognize Itself through the James Jiva in the Peter Jiva.
But the mirror of the Peter Jiva is still full of stains. It was only when somehow the Peter Jiva finally managed to clean up its mirror a little and when the place and time was right that finally the Self was able to recognize Itself through the Peter Jiva in the James Jiva. So amazing! So simple! It really felt like something finally connected. The real Yoga.
After my intellect figured that out, I tried to reproduce the experience. Since it did not work at first, I recapitulated what exactly happened with my body then. The gasping for air was quite remarkable. I repeated that and tried to invoke that feeling again somehow. It soon came back but not as intense as before.
But suddenly it felt like it was not air that I was breathing in but something else. Something thicker. Like a fluid. And whenever I breathed in, this feeling of bliss came back. Actually the whole feeling of my body was there. And when I breathed out, the feeling of my body and the bliss went away. As if I was somehow breathing awareness in and out. Really remarkable.
What is also notable is that there was no attachment to that feeling then. I did not mind to breathe out and I was not eager to breathe in. So far so good. What comes next? Maybe there is a way of producing this state at will. I think this is what you mean by abiding in the Self. If one could manage to permanently stay in this state… wow!
James: Yes, but no. The liquid “something else” you were breathing in was Self knowledge, the water of life. It’s not a “state” and it’s not produced by the doer. It’s produced by the scripture in the form of the guru. The way to “produce it at will” is to keep “I am the Self” in mind always, until it becomes unnecessary i.e. unconscious and natural like your name. It is your real name. Knowledge is permanent because you are permanent.
I guess the bliss will wear out, but that’s not the point.
James: Experiential bliss wears out. The bliss of Self knowledge doesn’t because it is just the bliss of existence, the bliss of being, which is the witness of the coming and going bliss.
I already figured out some homework for this Jiva. Try to recognize the Self in other Jivas. Clean your mirror even more. Be a mobile mirror for the Self. Let the Jiva be of service to the Self so that It can recognize the other Selves and shine Its light on other Jivas. In order to let verse 6 of the Isha Upanishad come true: He who sees all beings in the Self and the Self in all beings, to him the Self is revealed. Om tat sat.
James: Yes, that’s the homework. Good for you! It was clear to me that you were clear about the Self and the not-self but that your faith in the scripture was inadequate to make the knowledge hard and fast. 99% of qualified seekers need a guru. But whether you do or don’t, if you don’t clean the mirror, Isvara will make your life miserable, so it’s good that you figured it out.
