Hi James, 🙂
I am re-watching your videos on Panchadasi Tiru 2015, and you say there that the guilt we feel is really the ignorance of myself as awareness and not a statement of actions done in the past. For me who have had the strong company of guilt for as long as I can remember there came a huge relief. Although I have contemplated on this topic for the last 5 years in Vedanta, there seems to be more clarity around this now in my mind. But to be clear so I don’t misunderstand something; is there really no reason to feel guilty of anything? Because sometimes you say guilt is a message that I have broken dharma. Then I think maybe the breaking of dharma here is the pain that comes from claiming the ownership to the guilt, the harm to my body and mind that comes from carrying the responsibility of all past actions. I am so used to the guilty feeling that this voice inside says that without it to show the way I will break dharma right and left. Is that just the voice of ignorance? An attachment to virtue?
I am so used to overanalyzing “my” karma that good and bad karma being just ignorance, just an interpretation, blows my mind. When you talk about it in satsang it is so clear in my mind but then I think now, can it really be that simple? Am I really free of good and bad karma? Just the thought of it is exhilarating. It really is counterintuitive to everything the mind is telling me. And then I remember you said Swami Chimayananda called it the vomit of the mind. Why pick through the vomit? Why not claim it, discriminate Satya from Mitya, stop messing about. It seems a part of me is attached to the moral inventory, overanalysing, working on myself endlessly, fixing myself; virtue.
I hope this makes some sense? That you can shed some light on this.
Much love and gratitude, Carrie
Hi Carrie,
It’s the truth, Carrie. It makes sense. Ignorance is hard-wired. It’s the default. With it comes the belief that life is a threat and with it free-floating anxiety caused by ignorance of my perfect goodness. The guilt is a lie. Vedanta is liberation from “Something’s wrong with me. I must have made a mistake.” It is simple because there is no evidence that there is anything wrong with you or anything else, apart from the idea that there is. It is simple because it only takes a few moments of careful observation to discover that you lack nothing, that everything is in place, quite apart from the guilty thought. Why pick through the vomit? Claim it and enjoy.
The secondary argument is persuasive even without the teaching itself. Which is: does the guilt help? Is the hypervigilance about something you have no control over worth it? As Krishna said to Arjuna, “Stan up and fight, O mighty Carrie!
Finally, there probably is an element of virtue enhancement going on because society relies on guilt i.e. fear to keep the wheels turning. The more guilty you are, the more responsible you’ll be. Sad.
Love,
James
