This teaching is the fourth part of a ShiningWorld blog on Modern Psychotherapy and Vedanta by John Baxter. You are encouraged to question and comment.
While I covered the basics of karma yoga in the last blog post, I thought it would be helpful to cover a related topic: dependence and independence. Some may view these categories as polar opposites but they aren’t They’re two sides of the same coin. You can’t have one without the other. Mental health is defined by a healthy balance between the two.
OK, let’s take a step back. What steps do humans go through to develop dependence and independence? Obviously, we start life completely dependent. Everything must be done for us. Food, clothing, shelter, physical contact and emotional nurturing are essential. If this gets messed up, we’re in for serious trouble. We may not even survive. Then we begin the long journey to adulthood passing through childhood and adolescence. Along the way, we are exposed to a series of challenges, that allow us to develop the ability to cope with life. If we are not challenged enough, we don’t develop the resilience to thrive. If we are challenged too much, we become overwhelmed and view the world as an unsafe and untrustworthy place. Neither position is ideal. What makes parenting so difficult is finding a balance of these factors. Depending on how the parents were raised, they may tilt to one side or the other. In addition, peer groups and society in general can have a powerful influence. Some societies are organized around collective ideologies emphasizing more cooperation and social cohesion over independence. Others, typically in the Western world, place a greater importance on independence, individual rights and freedom. This is an ongoing conundrum. Humanity still struggles to sort it out.
As near as I can tell, there’s not a “right” way of being, which is finding the right balance of dependence and independence for you. While that may mean a broad range of possibilities, you’d be wise to stay out of the extremes. Generally speaking, the more flexible you are, the better things work. When dependency is called for, do it. Don’t be afraid to ask for help or be vulnerable. When you need to be independent, go for it. Don’t be afraid to assert yourself or to take the initiative. It’s good to stick your neck out once in a while. Remember: healthy dependency supports healthy independence and vice versa.
OK, now that that’s out of the way, what does it have to do with karma yoga? Here’s the deal. As long as you think you’re an individual, and you probably do, you are going need something to depend on. What’s that, you say?
Vedanta says God is the ultimate solution. Transfer your dependency to your true primary care-giver, the one that gave you life and the equipment to enjoy it. Remember, God is not a fickle big remote person. God is the natural order of things…100% consistent and reliable. But one catch: God is more interested in the total than in the individual. So, align your individual self with ‘total’ and do not worry. How do you do that? Follow dharma. Align your life with the natural order, which includes ethical guidelines, of which the ultimate guidline is “Do no Harm!” And don’t forget to include harmful thoughts, speech and physical violence. Don’t think that just because you are a vegetarian you are absolved of aggressive, violent speech and thoughts. Negative thoughts are unhealty and lead to an unhealthy body and unhealthy relationships.
Furthermore, align your life with your natural disposition, your svadharma. What about the independent part? With the support of Vedanta scripture, teachers and community, it’s up to you to take the initiative and put Vedanta into practice. You have to do the work…nobody can do it for you. If you have a doubt, it’s up to you to raise it. Seems like a pretty healthy balance of dependence and independence, if you ask me. What do you think?
John
