Q: Part of me is concerned if I continue to seek out whatever nonduality is, that I’ll withdraw and my relationship with my partner will end up strained or worsened.
Sundari: The great thing about nonduality is that it tells you upfront that you are the sought, the nondual Self or Consciousness. So you can call off the seeking and become a finder. The trick is to live it. This requires developing the qualifications for self-inquiry, committing yourself to a dedicated practice, and being properly taught by a qualified teacher. If you don’t know what this entails, everything that is required for self-inquiry is available on our website, Shiningworld.com.
Nonduality, Vedanta, is not just a bunch of interesting ideas you can throw into your head and roll with if you fancy them. It is the truth of who you are. Knowing you are full, complete and unchanging Consciousness, the witness of the ever-changing person in a relationship, and stop identifying as that limited doer entity, should provide you with tremendous opportunity for compassion, dispassion and patience. Not only for your personal self, but especially if your partner is not on the same page.
Vedanta gives you tools to manage the mind, such as karma yoga, which is surrendering the results of all thoughts, words and actions to God, or the field of Existence. It teaches you what values are important and what living a dharmic life means – which is basically, committing to non-injury in thought word and deed.
Vedanta teaches you that you can love ‘another’ who is not actually ‘other’ than you, because there is only one Self, or Consciousness, without being dependent on them to give you anything. You no longer seek validation or love from another because you are what validates everything, and you are the source of love.
If this does not help you in your relationship, what possibly could?
Love, Sundari
