Gil: Thank you for the insights. You covered a lot. I have a few observations and comments to clarify my understanding such as:
1. You said: “no matter where you are situated in your inquiry, it always comes down to putting the teachings into practice.” Me: I take this to mean that you are referring to applying self-inquiry throughout the day as experiences arise where I seem to forget (ignorance) what I am and I mentally apply the knowledge to separate the experienced objects from my true nature (pure awareness).
Sundari: Yes, correct. The mind is entrained to think dualistically by Maya, i.e., ignorance. Non-dual logic is flawless but to transfer your identity to the Self by negating your identity as a body/mind (ego) requires the vigilant, thought by thought application of nondual knowledge to the mind. Discriminating between satya (pure Awareness) from mithya (the jiva or egoic identity) is the understanding that everything other than you is an object known to you, pure Awareness.
Gil: I will also usually resolve or complete the inquiry by bringing my attention back to presence of awareness that is cognizing the actual experience (referred to as standing in awareness as awareness since that is what is present shining on all experiences)
Sundari: Yes, but always ask who the ‘I’ refers to. Ego watching itself, or the Self watching the ego? You use “I” a lot in this email. I explained this in my last email to you:
The problem here is that if you cannot fully discriminate between reflected awareness (mithya) and Pure Awareness (satya), taking a stand in Awareness as Awareness sometimes turns out to be more than a little tricky because it is so subtle. The split mind (ego) watching itself has a slippery tendency to claim to be Awareness. But is it ‘unfiltered’ pure Awareness, or is it reflected awareness, and an ego-delusion? The ego is very good at co-opting any knowledge and presenting it as truth.
How to know, and how to deal with that? Taking a stand is done with the mind and can lead to a kind of self-hypnosis that makes the Jiva (person) think it is the Self without the full understanding of what it means to be the Self. Of course, based on logic alone, (is there an essential difference between one ray of the sun and the sun itself?) the jiva can claim its identity as the Self—but only when its knowledge of satya and mithya is firm, meaning, direct. Meaning, you never confuse reflected awareness with pure Awareness again.
And perhaps disappointingly for many, the practice “I am Awareness” does not give you the experience of Awareness or make you Awareness because you are Awareness. It removes ignorance by negating the idea “I am the conceptual jiva” i.e., ego identity. When the conceptual jiva ego identity is negated, if the mind is sufficiently qualified, the jiva is known to be the Self – Jivatman. Mithya ‘becomes’ satya at this stage, and all is well from then on, even though life ‘in the world’ continues ‘as before’.
Gil: . So, when I resolve the inquiry I mean that I place my sense of identification on this pure awareness that is illumining all experiences (this includes the false sense of ego- awareness is what ultimately cognizes the ego)
Sundari: Again, who is the I that ‘places’ its sense of identification of ‘this’ pure Awareness, and resolves the inquiry? There is only the Self, not ‘this’ Self, and inquiry only ever resolves with reference to Self-knowledge, which does not belong to the mind because the mind is an object known to it.
The Self does not cognize because it is not a person. The presence of Awareness makes it possible for the mind to cognize and objectify the ego identity.
Gil: 2. I practice my nididhysana by speaking directly out loud to my mind the truth of myself – basically that I am existence, consciousness, limitless awareness, self-evident, self-luminous, whole and complete. I will also use many other mantras that describe my true nature.
Sundari: It is not ‘your’ nididhysana unless you are talking as an ego. Anything that helps you to objectify the mind, its contents and where it originates from – the gunas/ignorance – is a good practice, but watch out for that doer. Vedanta uses mantras very differently to most other spiritual paths – not to make you feel good (though they do), but to assert your identity as the Self.
Gil: I will say it with the full understanding of what that “implies” – that I am always present and aware including right now as I am giving the mind the self-knowledge…
Sundari: You are always present as Pure Awareness. But you (who?) are not ‘giving your mind the Self-knowledge’. That is the ego speaking. Self-inquiry and the application of Self-knowledge is an action taken by the inquirer, true. But it is by subjecting the mind to the nondual teachings under the guidance of a qualified teacher, that SELF-KNOWLEDGE itself does the ‘work’ of negating the ego identity by removing ignorance, thought by thought. The ego cannot wield nondual knowledge; it will try to co-opt it.
Gil: Basically I am giving full recognition to where my identification lies (on pure Awareness and not on reflected awareness). Since the ignorance is in the mind- the solution is in mind….remove the ignorance with the means of knowledge- Vedanta. I will also use silent meditation where I place my attention on awareness to “mentally” place my “recognition of identification”. Does this seem correct or am I missing anything?
Sundari: You are not wrong, but unless the I recognizing the identification is the silent witness, the Self, this is spoken as a doer – an ego, as it is above. As stated, though self-inquiry is an action taken by an inquirer dedicated to freedom from ignorance guided by a qualified teacher, you cannot read or meditate your way to freedom because the ego (doer) will get in the way. Ignorance cannot be removed by the doer because it is the problem. Nonduality is very subtle. Just keep reading, listening and applying the knowledge to the mind. It will take as long as it takes – but know this: You are never not the Self, and the ‘steps to get there are the qualities of being there’. Even though there is no ‘there’ to get to because the Self is all-pervasive, like space.
Hari Om
