Silke: I have been in a relationship with a man I love very much, who has trouble being demonstrative and has not spoken about commitment. I would like to know how Vedanta sees the need for commitment.
Sundari: Many people interested in or in a relationship have an issue with commitment. But if there is a genuine love between two people, the issue of commitment should not arise, married or not, in sexual/love relationship or not, because real love, love that transcends our likes and dislikes, is superior to commitment.
The whole idea of commitment is not valid. If you know who you are you don’t have commitment problems, because you are committed to Truth, to the self. But even if you don’t know who you are, commitment to Truth takes care of every relationship. If you are committed to truth and in a relationship, you see the “other” as none other than yourself, therefore there is automatic love and respect – and no need for commitment. You automatically follow dharma, your own and the dharma of the relationship, which is based on the mutual values of both people and forms the bedrock of the relationship, which is the highest form of commitment.
Each person in the relationship is free to stay or leave; there are no expectations and no demands. Above all, there is the knowledge that there is no authority outside of the self that provides security or determines the nature of the relationship. You marry yourself, in the form of an “other.”
~ Om, Sundari
