N: “I” used to be but recently “being busy” has gone and I saw it wasn’t coming from outside at all. It was still there but I was now left with nothing to do and seeing a “vacuum” in its place with this odd, indefinable urge to do something, but it was impotent, like a fog with no definition. Thanks to Vedanta and your and James’s teaching, the assimilation and Karma Yoga.
Sundari: Great way to describe the unsettling vagueness of the veiling power of mithya – how indeterminate and undefined everything is because nothing is as it seems in Maya. Vedanta gives us the objectivity to disidentify with it and discriminate, even when rajas presses the mind to ‘do something about it’. Karma yoga is of course the solution, but it is hard to practice at times because the human mind is designed to ‘do’ and to control outcome. Pesky Isvara.
It is so true that to manage the gunas we do need to identify how they play out in the mind, and to get a handle on where rajas and tamas are out of whack with sattva. Yet, even though they seem to play out so personally and to come from us internally, the gunas are impersonal and ‘belong’ to or come from the Causal body. It’s just how we manage any of the gunas (with knowledge) that determines how they affect us because they do not come from us.
Seeing as we can never stop doing, rajas is a great energy trained in the service of sattva. As long as it stays that way, rajas in the service of sattva gets what needs to be done in a good, efficient and effortless way. It’s just the manic desire and/or fear based ownership of the doing/getting/keeping that makes rajas a big problem and burns us out. I find managing rajas much easier than too much tamas, which I find more painful as a guna.
N: Ishwara re-enforced this last night – I woke up in a dream but the steps to waking in the dream were more precise: “I” was looking at my arms (blue for some reason) still fully dreaming and thought “but I know this is a dream” while knowing my mind thought it was real. It was the knowledge which allowed me to only then wake in the dream.
S: Blue is the colour of Krishna, which like the sky is all pervading and represents his (our) infinite and divine nature. It was the Self watching the dream and the dreamer seemingly awake in the dream – the shining one, called ‘taijasa’.
N: Then I tried flying as usual (just to scientifically prove it) but someone was now behind me holding me down with a string like a kite – so I wriggled free and tried again and could fly. Then like a pull from the unconscious, almost physically beyond “my” control, inevitably meant I was about to wake up into the “waker”.
The knowledge I got from this is that it is only the knowledge from the teachings, from the standpoint of the Self, which allows the mind to know, as the “waker”: “this is a “dream” and that all I see is Ishwara – not my actions, both in dreaming and when awake, whether I think I am doing it or not.
S: Yes, indeed. Nothing can stop the Self from flying as it was never bound. It’s just who the ‘I’ is associated with that makes that clear, or not. If Self-knowledge is active, the ‘I’ sees only itself, even Isvara. The apparent dream/dreamer is known to be that, and at the same time, the waker can enjoy the dream for what it is: Isvara’s gig.
N: Now at work I really have no interest in promotion, being “visible” (as so many around me apparently want) and while it seems very political and irrational is extremely predictable so I just try and give my actions to the field and hope, even when it is difficult and scary not to try and tweak the outcomes, it is a game which pays the bills, takes care of family and friends and hopefully health remains, if possible and so I respect it which is tough – it still batters my ego and I bite my tongue.
S: Can there be anything more tedious than the hustle for self-importance, wherever it plays out. So interesting what a game changer Self-knowledge is; nothing changes yet our whole orientation has changed from ego to Self. Sure the ego does not always like it, but hey. It’s all good even when it’s not that great for the ego. We all go through this; knowing who you are is not a magic bullet for the ego. As long as we do not muddy the waters by allowing the doer influence or purchase, we get through it.
We learn to protect our precious peace of mind above all else. There is never anything more important than the bliss of Self and life will afford us endless opportunities to exercise that choice through discrimination. Until it becomes first and second nature, and there is no longer a need to choose because even that chooser/discriminator is gone.
N: Every day knowing what is Dharmic is a constant challenge but it is clearer the results are not up to me, often what I think is going to be bad turns out to be the opposite and when I think it was right, turns out not to be.
S: No jiva is perfect, and has a certain inborn character with its good and not so good bits. But if your peace of mind is intact, chances are your response to whatever is in front of you is dharmic, especially as someone who is no longer a seeker but a finder. Even though at times that entails taking a stand, setting things right, maybe even temporarily getting emotional.
Apart from non-injury, there are no rules for free people, remember. You are free to ‘feel’ anything as a jiva, even to have preferences that are in line with your values. The trick is not to identify with the feelings and the likes and dislikes, or to invest in them. To let things be, even, but not to stick. The only thing to stick to are your Self-knowledge infused values.
N: There will never be a book of Maya, do’s and don’ts – but there is the knowledge now that this is a dream and nothing can really be gained or lost in truth.
S: Amen. Never truer words spoken. Maya is so often a complete head scratcher – and thank God, we do not need to try to figure it out because it ain’t possible!
N: I am so grateful for all you do, thank you
S: I am grateful for you too – for sharing our journey with me so generously, and for your support.
much love to you, all ways
Sundari
