Dear Sundari, dear Ram-ji,
Hope you’re both doing well. Looks like you are at Trout Lake…and that the energy sparkles!
Just to tell you that the last satsang on “An Ignorance or Knowledge Setpoint” bombarded this “inner battlefield” like a bazooka on the right apparent place at the right apparent time!
Since a few days, for a “stupid, personal, emotional” issue, I withdrew from the family, with no phone and no talk whatsoever. It seems now that Isvara made me taking some time to recalibrate the ignorance setpoint! For a couple of days I was the observer of an unexpected wrestling fight between the Ego wanting to act, react, and scream stories and drama, and the knowledge, the teachings manifesting sometimes as a furious lion roaring the truth and sometimes as the most peaceful silence.
When the ego apparently and temporarily won the fight, the whole body crashed down with terrifying symptoms, and when the teaching reappeared as clear as a Chrystal in the light, the body and mind got quiet, into rest and gratitude. It was like watching and living the scene of the crucifixion of the Christ, fully knowing and trusting that only the knowledge and the teaching would win, whatever the intensity of the pain. There was nothing else to do these days than meditation, karma-yoga, surrendering and having faith. And reading your satsang today got the war to an end, the Christ resurrected and this body-mind complex released from a sneaky Ego-residue, ready for more vertical integration. Auch!!!
Where else than in the battlefield can the jiva assimilate the knowledge and take refuge in the understanding that there has never been a person and a battlefield in the first place! And now, bite the bullet and go, like Krishna said to Arjuna!!! In this case, go back home, have fun and continue nididhyasana!
Big hugs, love and gratitude!!!
Sundari: What a great email, thank you for sharing this with us… I totally relate to what you went through, we have all been there! You describe perfectly the karma drama dance that ignorance creates, and the awful mental madness associated with it. Maya is a wonder indeed.
Isvara tests us until all ignorance is gone and the ego totally submits. For vertical integration and assimilation, this invariably requires an unwelcome confrontation with our deeply buried unconscious content – what I call the Duryodhana factor. Not much fun. Thank God we have karma yoga and Self-knowledge as our sword of truth to cut through it all, and return our sense of humour!
May the peace that you are forever rule, and the smile on your face never leave
Much love
Sundari
