Seeker: Thank you for taking so much time to write this (just for the record, how many times have you had to write this kind response to suicidal inquirers, as I reckon you have had similar if not exactly the same emails from others? You should write a template up for each guna and save time to just sit in the sunshine drinking Prosecco or something).
I’m going to get the words NO EXCUSES, YOU HAVE THE KNOWLEDGE, DO THE WORK tattooed on the inside of my eyelids.
Christian’s two videos I could find, the one you mentioned and the one on the identity mantras, were both very helpful… his enthusiasm is infectious, LOL.
All is well. Isvara has provided me with everything I need. Whatever happens from here on is up to me (well, sort of).
Sundari: Indeed it is up to you. Being the self is easy – nothing happening, just bliss, every day, all day, always and forever. But to live the bliss of self as a jiva, 24/7, now there’s the trick! That ain’t so easy. Isvara’s shite must go – or no deal, sorry. Customs are very strict. No baggage allowed. This baby, she no fly if you like your shite too much.
So choose.
But if you have the balls to face the shite, when you are done with it and hand it back to Isvara, man, is it ever fun being the jiva-self. Ho ho! You can take my word for it. It’s fantastic. In fact we always say if it gets any better we don’t know if we will be able to stand it – seriously! Duality is really cool when you know what it is, no longer fooled by the sexy shimmering stuff or the dark and ugly. It’s all just beautiful. We call it Brahmaloka. That’s where we “live,” our address, as the jiva-self, even though as the self we are everywhere and nowhere.
So watcha waiting for, dummy? You got the invite and directions to get here. It’s like someone dumped a ton of gold on your front lawn and you are just staring at it. “Mmm, interesting. Sooo much gold… I wonder where I should put it… or if it’s ruining the grass…?
Take the grace, yer darn fool, and make magic happen. NO more excuses. Become a disciple unto the self. You. When you do, no disciple or discipline required anymore. Before you do, lots of disciple and discipline required. No pain, no gain.
And yes, we say more or less the same things over and over. But everyone who writes in is unique, and we respond to them as the jiva if need be, and as the self. We don’t often get asked about suicide though, very seldom in fact. Because most people who have got to Vedanta understand its value and the futility of making the jiva real. You would only want to kill it if you thought it was real. But we have the ONLY real weapon to kill it – the knowledge that proves it’s not real, and therefore you cannot kill it, nor do you need to.
Do you realize how lucky you are, to be handed the manual and the directions on how to use it, to get out of the shitehole of samsara? Have you thought about that? It’s grace, and grace is earned. This is how you pay Isvara back? Life is a great gift, man! One that requires reciprocation. But you must make it work. The rest is up to you alone. You are one of the chosen few who have the means to escape samsara. Stop messing about with it. Or you might just find that you are back in the Lost and Not-Found for a very long time.
Practise gratitude. It’s the best attitude. And it counts the most when things are not going your way. If you get up in the morning and cannot feel grateful for being alive, expect a bad day. Find something to be grateful for and make that feeling grow. It takes practice!!
You may wonder why I say “chosen few” – it sounds so dualistic and elitist. It is. However, you may have noticed, Isvara has a HUGE appetite for fools. No shame, our Isvara. Talk about binding desire – oh, right, Isvara is not a person. Still, it makes you wonder, not so?
So if you are awake in this dream it may not seem so lucky – getting bashed about – but if by some miracle you have stumbled on the Holy Grail – Vedanta – trust me, you are one of the chosen very few.
Krishna in his infinite compassion has plucked you out of the ocean of samsara. And yes, this makes you lucky, even if you are still suffering like a dog. At least now you know what makes the dog’s tail wag. The tail is not wagging the dog anymore. Maybe you don’t fully understand what that means or WTF is going on yet for this lowly jiva, seemingly full of cankerous sores and holes, whose life is still such a mess.
But you really have been “shown the light.” You can see: “Hey! The cracks are where the light comes in – and – that light is coming from – OMG, ME!”
I can take my jiva suit with all its pretend holes and cracks off. And just be the light. Play in the dream movie coming from me. All I need to stay out of trouble (duality’s clutches) is to play by the rules, and jivaji has so much fun.
So. Get with the program. Get on with nididhyasana and clean up your lifestyle. Stop whining. That’s an order from your guru. No dumb emails about ending it for the jiva unless you mean by negation, which is the only way out of its miserable mess, poor thing.
Capisci?
~ Love, Sundari
