I hope this email finds you well. I’ve been reading the satsangs on the Shining World website for some weeks now, and finally decided to ask you for help with some doubts. Thank you very much in advance.
I’m 23 and got introduced to Vedanta three months ago. Thankfully I spent less than a couple of months in the Neo-Advaita world, and I feel very lucky to have stumbled upon an article that mentioned Ramji as a traditional non-duality teacher. After three years of searching, I finally felt at home. What a huge relief when I (this jiva) realized “This is it, no more need to keep searching!”.
Sundari: You are fortunate that Isvara moved you on from Neo-Advaita to Vedanta so quickly, which is the knowledge that ends the quest for knowledge for those who are ready to hear and assimilated the nondual teachings. Neo Vedanta contains some of the teachings but leaves out the most important part, which is the teaching on the relationship between Isvara as the Total Mind and the individual, or jiva. Without this understanding it is impossible to negate mithya, the apparent reality, so you get stuck.
Franco: Since then, Vedanta has been my main priority. I’ve spent lots of hours reading and listening to Ramji and Swami Chinmayananda, even when I knew it was more appropriate to focus on work. Deep down, I often feel like I’m rushing things or trying to force something, and this is where I’d like to receive your advice.
Sundari: It is pretty normal when first encountering Vedanta to get high on the teachings to the exclusion of everything else. That happened to me and many people we know. There is nothing like Vedanta if you have even the most rudimentary understanding of the value of the teachings, and what they mean for you as a person. The problem is that Vedanta is a progressive teaching which must be followed slowly and correctly to assimilate. There is no way around this, no shortcuts.
Franco: Recently I read a satsang in which you mentioned that the tradition encourages young people to exhaust their vasanas in the world before committing to self-inquiry. This makes perfect sense to me, since I still notice the desire for worldly pursuits in me. Yet despite knowing this, it’s as if there’s a desire in me to let go of those worldly pursuits and focus exclusively on gaining self-knowledge. It’s as if I’m frustrated with having to deal with them and not being able to dedicate myself to what I’m beginning to recognize as the only worthy goal, moksa.
Sundari: Again, what you describe here is also understandable and not uncommon, regardless of age. Moksa is the only truly worthy goal in life, even though as the Self, you have always been free. But even someone who has a fairly purified mind and is established in the world must battle with worldly desires. Self-inquiry is no walk in the park; it is the most difficult and subtle undertaking anyone can embark on because ignorance is hard-wired and highly tenacious. That is why qualifications for self-inquiry are so important.
It is true that the tradition (particularly in India) encourages young people to exhaust worldly vasanas before devotion to self-inquiry. It makes sense, but some young people like yourself are ready for self-inquiry, even though the desire for worldly experiences is still strong. This can be true of older people too, as mentioned. Age is no guarantee of preparation for Vedanta. But one can develop the qualifications required for it at any age. Though all the qualifications for self-inquiry must be developed, the baseline qualification is the understanding that the joy is not in objects. An object is anything other than you, the knower of all objects (experiences). I think you have realized this, and have some understanding of the zero sum nature of life. Which is a great advantage, even though it is harder to fully submit to at your age.
I also think you understand that you can’t be your mind, but the knower of the mind. And the mind under the hypnosis of duality is an experience-hungry consumer. Maya is a cruel master, tempting us with all its sexy objects which we can never quite grasp. As desire is painful, we feel good for a while when we get what we want because desire is temporarily satiated. But sadly, it never lasts, desire returns and we are not satisfied, even when we get what we want. So off we go, chasing the next experience in the vain hope of permanent satisfaction. On and on, like a little hamster on a wheel, getting nowhere.
Franco: This has created a lot of inner conflict and a very agitated mind because I somehow feel that focusing on worldly goals – achieving financial stability and cultivating meaningful relationships, mainly – is more aligned with dharma at this moment in my life. I feel this way because Isvara has given me an amazing opportunity to start a business, and it seems adequate to focus on this project. Also, if successful, this business would allow me to gain a living by teaching meditation, which seems like great work and very aligned with (what is slowly becoming) my priority, Vedanta. But as I mentioned, I also wish I could go straight for freedom, without the need to focus on other pursuits first.
I guess I’m afraid this shows I’m not 100% committed to freedom.
Sundari: I understand your conflict, but I think that following your svadharma (your inborn nature) and life karma right now is what you need to do. Self-inquiry, especially as a beginner, does not preclude you from focussing on this business opportunity and establishing relationships/security in the world. To succeed at inquiry, you need financial and emotional stability. Without it, the mind is always agitated trying to make ends meet or looking for love. This is one of the main reasons that the tradition encourages inquirers to first take care of their worldly needs before they can be 100% committed to inquiry. And besides, your main goal in doing this is it will eventually free you up to do what you are more aligned with. Good plan, as long as you do not get side-tracked into wanting more than you need, which can happen because Maya, the hypnosis of duality, is a great trickster, highly intelligent and seductive.
Franco: However, I feel that the solution lies in karma yoga. It’s the main teaching I’ve been trying to connect with recently. Maybe I need to neutralize vasanas before I can commit to self-inquiry and there’s just no way around it. I know I struggle a lot with action and committing myself to projects – there’s lots of accumulated tamas in “me” that “I” have been steadily cleansing – so karma yoga would also help me with this. At the same time, it would help me develop the qualifications for inquiry. I would be lying if I said there’s stable dispassion or forbearance in me.
Sundari: Karma yoga along with mind management (guna yoga) are the most important practices for you, especially with regards to developing the qualifications and rendering binding vasanas non-binding. The stage you are at is a secular karma yogi, someone who has deep spiritual vasanas but still has karma in the world, which is to be expected for someone your age. It seems you understand the purpose of karma yoga, so you could use it to your advantage to get what you want. When employed correctly, karma yoga should take care of all anxiety because that is what it is designed to do: remove the existential anxiety of doership from the doer, the ego.
The first step in secular karma yoga, which is karma yoga with desire, is recognizing that you can take appropriate action, but you are not in control of the results. The second step of karma yoga is consecrating each thought, word, and action to Isvara, the creator of the Field of Experience. Consecration is done in the spirit of gratitude for the great gift that life is. Everything we are and have is thanks to Isvara, and everything we want to be free of is thanks to Isvara. Surrendering thoughts/words/ and deeds is very necessary and important, but without gratitude, it is empty, devoid of faith and grace. So surrender everything to Isvara with an attitude of gratitude, especially the desire for moksa.
When you are ready for sacred karma yoga, which is karma yoga without desire, different rules apply. This stage of inquiry means that you are no longer the boss. You give up the world and all desire, except for desire that is not contrary to dharma, such as a desire for self-inquiry. Chasing new adventures of any kind are not allowed here as you are ready for the final teaching, which is beyond cause and effect. This does not mean you cannot have jobs, relationships etc., at any stage of self-inquiry. It just means that you no longer need nor depend on them. But you are not there yet, and that is fine. All in good ‘time’.
Franco: This is why it feels right to focus more of my energy on karma yoga and less on reading/listening. This feels very aligned with dharma and my svadharma, even though I can notice a big dislike in me towards the idea of not being able to skip this “worldly” phase. Ultimately, there’s a desire in me that wishes we could “read ourselves to freedom”, since it’s all about understanding and not doing.
Sundari: You can’t read your way to freedom sadly, but take it easy, don’t be too hard on yourself. This will pass, as do all things in the world of duality. Enjoy the world for what it has to offer, only finite passing experiences. Do not expect more from the world than any experience can deliver, which is temporary bliss. “Sin” intelligently, with your eyes wide open to the upside (temporary bliss) and downsides (bondage) of getting what you want or avoiding what you don’t want.
Most importantly, trust that Isvara has seeded a strong desire for freedom from bondage, which is grace, and grace is earned. Who You Truly Aware has no age. The Self is unborn and undying. And as the ever-present, nondual, unchanging, ever full, and complete Self, you are not going anywhere. You cannot go anywhere because there is nowhere you are not. And you cannot lose it because that is who you are.
Franco: Could you please expand on how the tradition encourages young people to pursuit worldly goals first? And also, would you share any advice on how to deal with this desire to “skip phases”? Is it something that can be dealt with completely by practicing karma yoga?
Sundari: See above. Karma yoga is one of the most important practices, as stated, so yes, commitment to self-inquiry requires it, along with guna yoga. Make sure you read the satsangs I have attached on the steps to self-inquiry. Being in a rush and skipping through the steps will be self-defeating because you will simply get stuck. There is no fast track to moksa; it takes as long as it takes, and all the stages of self-inquiry must be completed. Though it requires commitment, the end result, Self-actualization, is not up to you. It can be elusive even for older, very dedicated inquirers who have been at it for decades. The reason for this can be complicated, but it is usually because there are still subtle but binding vasanas and doership which has not been completely negated. Realizing your true identity as the Self is the easier part; fully actualizing Self-knowledge is extremely subtle. But why worry about it, seeing as you are never not the Self? The steps to get ‘there’ are the qualities of being ‘there’.
If you have found the Vedanta bus, get on it, put down your luggage and trust that it will do the rest. You are the Self, even if that knowledge is not yet firm. If you do what you need to do in the world with karma yoga and mind management (guna yoga) you will not get sucked into the wheel of samsara. But remember, eternal vigilance is the price of freedom. Don’t ever abandon the scripture, it is your lifeline.
Franco: Two quotes struck a chord in me recently. The first one is by Swami Chinmayananda in his commentary on the Gita, and the second one by Sri Yukteswar in “Autobiography of a Yogi”.
“The inner personality is a million times more delicate than an unopened flower-bud and to hasten its unfoldment is to ruin forever its beauty and fragrance”.
Sundari: This is a beautiful statement. But as with all statements, we need to analyse it from the perspective of the Self (nonduality) and that of the individual (duality), which is required for all inquiry. From the Self’s perspective, you do not have an inner personality (or an outer one, for that matter). The Self is the essence of who you are, that one and only ‘thing’ that cannot be negated, is always true, unchanging, and always present. The jiva on the other hand, being an ever-changing entity and a product of the gunas, does have an Isvara-given personality. It is programmed a certain way by the gunas and has an apparent existence in order to work out its karma in the world. But as the jiva is ultimately the Self, when we investigate its true nature in light of Self-knowledge, and Self-knowledge assimilates, the jiva program becomes as good as non-existent. We are no longer bound by it. Being able to discriminate the Self (satya) from the objects that appear in you at all times (mithya) is called moksa.
The jiva’s apparent personality develops according to its inborn nature and its life karma, and it needs time to unfold, that is true. The maturation process of the mind (jiva) cannot be hastened, it progresses according to Isvara, which is why most people who come to Vedanta are older, though some souls do not follow typical jiva programs. This can create conflict as the part of you that knows there is nothing more important than freedom from and for the jiva is in a tug of war with the jiva who wants to experience the world.
Franco: “Sacred writings are beneficial in stimulating desire for inward realization, if one stanza at a time is slowly assimilated. Continual intellectual study results in vanity and the false satisfaction of an undigested knowledge.”
I can easily recognize the “false satisfaction of undigested knowledge” that I got during these first three months of my journey with Vedanta. It’s slowly dawning on me that this might take longer than I imagined, and (this is the hard part to assimilate) that that’s OK.
With much love and gratitude for all you do.
Sundari: What the second quote means is that you cannot really ‘study’ Vedanta because the subject matter is you, Consciousness. It is important to be totally dedicated to the scripture, to understand the methodology, to follow the progression of the teachings correctly and to remember the teachings. But Self-inquiry requires the humble and consistent application of the teachings, thought by thought, day by day. Without this constant application, assimilation cannot take place.
Even though yoga is very important to purify and prepare the mind for moksa, nothing the jiva ‘does’ can produce it. It is only Self-knowledge itself that removes ignorance, not the ego parroting the teachings. Moksa, which is permanent freedom from and for the jiva program, obtains by the grace of Isvara, alone. The ego cannot free the ego. If we do not apply the teachings they remain ‘undigested’, an intellectual exercise, not much more. When Self-knowledge has permanently obtained, you no longer need the scripture. You are the Scripture.
Many inquirers are in a rush, believing they can do themselves to freedom, but the doer is the problem. And sadly, the spiritual world is full of people looking for and trapped by the idea of acquiring a special identity or status. Or they are invested in how smart they are. They fail to see that as the Self, status is an object known to you. There is nothing special about being the Self because there is only the Self, and you have never not been the Self. And so is everyone and everything else. You do not gain anything by moksa, you simply lose the ignorance standing in the way of appreciating your true nature as the nondual Self.
I am very happy to help you, I can tell that you are very sincere. It is not an easy stage of life you are at, but you are very blessed to have found Vedanta so early in life, so stick with it.
Franco: Thank you so much for your response. I’ll make sure to print it, along with the texts you sent, so I can read them carefully multiple times. I now understand the emphasis Vedanta puts on having a teacher. You’ve given me lots of clarity to continue my journey, and for that I feel immense gratitude.
Sundari: You are most welcome, glad to be of help. Feel free to write any time. Yes, a teacher is very important as a guide to unfolding the teachings because they are so subtle and easily interpreted according to personal biases and beliefs.
Gratitude is one of the magic ingredients in living a good life. If you cannot be grateful you will never be happy. It is not that Isvara needs our gratitude because Isvara is not a person; but even though the person is not real, it exists. And as a person, we benefit so much from the simple and powerful mindset of gratitude.
Franco: During prayer, I ask Isvara to help me remove this ignorance that hides all Its blessings from my sight and makes me miss all the reasons to feel thankful. I feel your response has given me an “evident” reason to feel this gratitude, if that makes sense. The fact that Vedanta came into my life is also my main source of gratitude at the moment.
Sundari: Yes indeed, Vedanta is the greatest gift anyone could receive. Praying for the removal of ignorance is the best use of prayer, which is another gift given to us by Isvara. In the two documents I sent to you I explain the importance of a devotional practice as an essential as part of self-inquiry. Like gratitude, it is also a boon to life for the jiva. Especially when all you pray for is God, not God’s stuff.
Franco: I love that the teaching is so complete that you can point exactly where I’m currently at. That relieves unnecessary worry and reminds me that it’s all in Isvara’s hands. Like you said, since I’m on the Vedanta bus, I can just put down my luggage and trust.
Sundari: Yes. Vedanta is so powerful because it is a complete teaching, and it meets the inquirer where they are at, providing a valid means of knowledge (a tool kit), which is applicable to every life experience. There is nothing that Vedanta does not address and cannot resolve. Self-knowledge is the one knowledge that is always true in all situations, time frames and states, because it is not subject to change. It is the logic of existence, and it works to remove the ignorance of your true nature as Existence shining as Awareness.
Franco: Karma yoga and guna yoga will be my main focus for the foreseeable future.
Sundari: Good for you, there are few ideas as effective as Karma yoga, not only with regards to the unpredictability of life, but as a way to bring the childish ego under the control of knowledge, instead of blind desire. Karma yoga is like burnout insurance, or a good pair of glasses to correct myopia. Never take them off!
Thank you for your donation, it is much appreciated and helpful.
Hari Om
Sundari
