Thank you very much, dear Sundari.
I will read these words again (and again), ponder them, process them, and let them sink into my mind, until the ignorance dissolves in it.
M: Is it also possible to use Karma yoga with regard to ignorance, to take a grateful attitude towards ignorance?
Sundari: Absolutely. Offer everything back to Isvara from whence it came, in the spirit of consecration and gratitude.
M: Sometimes a lot of tension arises when I notice ignorance. There is the desire to remove the ignorance and at the same time the lack of understanding to dissolve the ignorance.
Sundari: As I said in my last email, frustration is normal because duality is very persuasive, and nonduality is very counter-intuitive. Again, offer the frustration to Isvara as a form of worship. The Self in the form of Isvara says: in whatever way you worship me, I will come to you to make your faith strong. Trust Isvara because Self-knowledge works if you stick with it and apply it to your life diligently. Vedanta gives you all the tools. Use them. As I said repeatedly in my zoom satsangs, self-inquiry is hard.
If you are genuinely stuck, there are usually one or more of these issues involved:
1. Check the preparations required for self-inquiry are in place and practiced throughout inquiry: karma yoga, meditation, and devotional practice.
2. Conduct a fearless moral inventory of your values and conditioning. Understand your jiva programming, it’s ‘fault lines’ or repetitive patterns.
3. Some qualification is missing. All are important, so make sure they all are present, if not which ones need to be developed. Track yourself on them thought by thought.
4. Make sure you have a solid foundation in the terminology used by Vedanta and the meaning of the most important terms. You may have skipped ahead and missed some important parts of the methodology of self-inquiry. If so, start at the beginning, read Tattva Bodh, and progress to the other texts recommended. (See the attachment on the steps to self-inquiry).
5. You are not applying the teachings diligently enough. Self-inquiry requires assimilation of the teachings and very importantly, application to your life. It’s a thought-by-thought, 24/7 commitment. Discriminate between the Self and the not-self at all times, manage the mind’s emotional and thinking patterns with guna knowledge, apply karma yoga to every thought word, and action, take a stand in Awareness as Awareness, think the opposite thought.
6. There is something in your lifestyle that does not conform to dharma and keeps you distracted from self-inquiry, blocking access to the assimilation of Self-knowledge.
M: It takes a lot of energy and at a certain moment it turns into a tamasic energy, like a black hole in which nothing can really be processed anymore (even converting words from English to Dutch or vice versa seems quite impossible). It is like I am getting stuck in my own effort at such moments; the more effort I put in, the more I get tightened.
Sundari: See above. Actually, you do really well to express yourself! Whenever you are stuck, just always ask yourself who does the “I” refer to, the one trying to do its way to freedom from ignorance? Who is it that knows the doer applying a lot of energy (rajas) which inevitably turns to tamas (as rajas always does), who gets frustrated because nothing can be processed anymore, and is stuck in a black hole? If you know that person, it cannot be you. It is an object known to you. So discriminate between what belongs to you as the Self and what belongs to the conceptual jiva. Always turn the mind towards the witness, the Self, take a stand in Awareness and practice the opposite thought, consecrating it to Isvara. This too will pass.
M: I was wondering what would be the most appropriate “attitude” when you experience this?
Sundari: I think you have the appropriate attitude because you understand the value of the scriptures and are committed to inquiry. Go through the checklist I provided, and if you think you are good on all points, then the only attitude is continued faith in and surrender to the scriptures. Ignorance is very tenacious and very subtle; it goes when it goes. You cannot use willpower to make it go away, though certainly having a great deal of desire for that to happen is essential as a qualification for moksa. And as important is to surrender that burning desire to Isvara on the altar of karma yoga. Isvara has you covered and is paying attention, never fear. So, relax, take it easy!
With much love to you too
Sundari
