Alan: I quote the following from one of your Satsangs
“Freedom is the ability to discriminate between the experiencing entity (Jiva) and the non-experiencing (Self) entity 24/7, automatically, without thinking. Until then, the application of the knowledge to your life requires constant discrimination, thought by thought”
I see that an example of this discrimination on a practical level, would be to notice when a thought of dissatisfaction or a desire arises in the mind, as an opportunity to take a step back and enquire by saying to myself “I am whole and complete, I need nothing” is that sufficient and simple enough to apply the knowledge 24/7 and a suitable practice? Is this the same as “taking a stand in awareness in awareness”?
Sundari: Yes, it is the same as you are bringing the mind back to the Self with that statement. However, it can be difficult when strong emotions (samskaras) get triggered.
Here is what I wrote about this important point to another inquirer recently, I think it hones the discrimination down to a few powerful words:
Happiness comes down to one simple decision: Am I the Self or am I the jiva? I cannot be both if this is a non-dual reality, which we know it is. If I think I am the jiva I identify with its problems, especially emotional eruptions, and I am unhappy. I either deny what’s transpiring or project and blame someone or something for my state of mind, i.e., my unhappiness. If I am the Self, there is nobody but me, and I dismiss the jiva program for what it is: a toxic thought. I throw it out of the picture and totally ignore it. It is not me. I do not defend it and simply refuse to have any problems. If I keep doing this every time these patterns arise, eventually they will be rendered non-binding.
To make that choice is always a possibility, even when deep emotions are triggered. In fact, especially then because we get to see what is still binding in the jiva program. Though it is not always easy to identify with the Self and not the jiva at those times, if you choose your true nature, any situation can be transformed in an instant. You do this by acknowledging the patterns, see where they are coming from (gunas/Causal body) and let them go—meaning, you give them back to Isvara with the karma yoga attitude.
Alan: The more I understand this knowledge and apply it to my life, the more interest I am losing in the world, that is the world of objects and experiences ..things I ‘enjoyed’ in the past e.g. Watching a movie, reading non-fiction books, etc don’t appeal these days. There really is no joy in objects!
Sundari: This is par for the course for most inquirers, one no longer needs to be entertained when you know you are the Self and you have assimilated the truth that there is no joy in objects. But it is also Ok to enjoy objects for the apparent joy they offer, knowing they do not add or subtract from you, the source of the joy. When you know this all objects can be joyful because they are known to be you, though you are not them! You act because you are happy not for happiness. Duality is only a problem if you are identified with it as real; think about all the amazing opportunities it gives us to appreciate the gift of life ‘in a body’, so to speak. The simple joy of touch, a good meal, a beautiful sunset, a flower…All Me, even though I am not it. How wonderful!
Alan: Yet, what remains doesn’t feel like fullness, but it feels more like emptiness or void is what remains, in some ways it feels like a relief like I am seeing clearly …but at the same time it feels like – ‘ok, so now objects don’t have appeal – now what’ …what should I do with my time …. Have you come across this before when teaching others?
Sundari: Yes, this is also quite common, in fact, most inquirers go through this stage. If ‘what remains’ after Self-realization does not feel like fullness, then there is still a remnant of ignorance. It takes as long as it takes for the mind to be totally purified. Though as you say, there is already great relief because a lot of the pressure of the vasanas is nullified by karma yoga and jnana yoga (Self-knowledge). A little karma yoga goes a long way to end suffering, even if the doer is not completely negated and the ego identity is dissolving, which is a difficult time.
What does it mean to negate the doer? Well, it does not mean that doing stops, only the identification with the doer ends. As long as you are alive, you are doing and desiring something, if nothing else, to live. There is nothing wrong with doing appropriate actions, with desires that are not contrary to dharma, or with objects unless we are under the illusion that they can give us something we lack or end our dissatisfaction. It is a question of who is doing and who desires what that matters.
The feeling of ‘now what’ and ‘the void’ happens to many qualified inquirers who are Self-realized but not Self-actualized when the truth of life being zero-sum sinks in, and they realize that there really is ‘nothing out ‘there’. This is a very potent idea and a terrifying one for the ego. We call this stage ‘the void’ because all objects are seen to be devoid of substance and meaning, which of course, they are. In particular, when the person they once took themselves to be is revealed to be no more than a construct, a mirage, a guna-generated program. What to ‘do’ when you realize the pointlessness of all doing and you are not the doer? Knowing that we are the Self does not magically translate into the disappearance of the jiva with all its stuff. That can take years and years for some in the last stages of self-inquiry. Nididhysana is the purification of the remaining vestiges of mental/emotional patterns once Self-realization has taken place. Only when this stage is complete does Self-actualization take place naturally.
The ‘all is emptiness’ stage is created by tamas, which presents another Self-actualization problem that usually, but not always, affects older Self-realized people who have had families and/or careers. Many younger people experience this too. Jobs and families solve the problem of financial and emotional security, but they don’t take care of the doer problem, so the tendency to act has no place to go when you realize the zero-sum nature of life. The risk here is that the doer slips into a depression because you cannot in good faith distract it with the mindless samsaric pursuits that previously occupied it, i.e., jobs, entertainment, sex, or endless family events, etc. Recently the pandemic has made this much worse because the mind is forced to face itself and has nowhere to hide or seek distraction. Things on the world stage can seem pretty gloomy looked at through the lens of tamas.
What all serious inquirers dedicated to the last stage of self-inquiry, nididhysana, are aiming for is to transition directly to perfect satisfaction – tripti. Unfortunately, this can only take place if you are totally qualified when Self-realization takes place. I.e., all the jiva’s binding conditioning (mental and emotional patterns) have been transformed into devotion to the Self, meaning rendered non-binding. This is seldom the case when Self-realization takes place, which is why nididhysana, is for most inquirers, the most difficult and the longest stage.
Jivas are a flawed bunch and there’s not much that can be done about it. We are all a mixed bag on that level knowing how the gunas work conditioning the mind. Nobody is doing anything, so there is no blame, either. Our jiva program plays out the way it does, and we are either tied to it or not. At the same time, being free of it does not mean we stop thinking and feeling; all that changes is the importance we give to our thoughts and feelings, and how they impact us. To be truly free I must be free to be sad, upset, disappointed, angry, etc., as well as happy and peaceful.
But if negative feelings loom large and take up residence in the real estate of my mind for longer than it takes to recognize that they are there, I am clearly, not that free. Freedom means I see my thoughts and feelings as they arise and the knowledge kicks in instantly to dissolve them. Hold fast to the knowledge and keep discriminating, find something noble for the mind to do. This stage passes when you finally realize that you are the fullness observing the apparent void, and the apparent emptiness.
Much love
Sundari
