Allow The Sweetness of the Heart to Grow

Hello dear Sundari, thank you for your understanding.

Finally—six years after my first encounter with Shiningworld I began, just a few weeks ago, to think seriously about *sadhana*.

And yet, then I had immediately realized that Vedanta was exactly what I wanted in my life—that I no longer needed to search for anything else. (It all clicked, and I could stop seeking.)

Sundari: This often happens when inquirers first encounter Vedanta – there is the immediate ‘rush’ and excitement of hearing the truth of who you are for the first time. As the Self always knows itself even when the mind is under the spell of ignorance (duality), the recognition – literally ‘seeing again’ – is immediate. However, unless you are very highly qualified, which most are not, what stands in the way of Self-knowledge instantly removing all ignorance is the stubborn hypnosis of duality. 

The idea that you are a person with karma who lives in and transacts with the world, is hardwired.  The tricky part is that moksa is freedom from and for the jiva. Unless Self-knowledge translates into your life without having to consciously think about it, Self-knowledge is not direct.  Indirect knowledge, knowing about the Self, is not moksa.  That is why we say that Self-realization is where the ‘work’ of self-inquiry begins, not ends.  The process of freedom takes as long as it takes, depending on the dedication and commitment to freedom from the jaws of duality the inquirer has.

GF: For six years—through the Shiningworld website and channel—I read texts and listened to numerous videos almost every day; I even lit candles and incense, participated in webinars, and so on. But! I realized that the practice and study of Vedanta were *not* my daily priority. I lacked the desire to change my life, to resolve my suffering… I lacked the desire for liberation.

Sundari: As I said above, if you are not dedicated and the desire for freedom is not your strongest motivation, duality will always win.  You may still long for freedom but the fruit of self-inquiry eludes you. That is why all the qualifications are so important, but particularly mumuksutva –the understanding of being trapped in limitation and the overriding desire for freedom from it. The first part of that last sentence is very important. If you don’t understand that you are trapped and why you are trapped in the jaws of Maya, you will not have the drive to be free of it. A typical samsari or worldly person is like that. A prisoner in a cage believing they are free, railing against the unfairness of life, afraid of their inner demons, afraid that ‘others’ will see that they are unlovable, worried, afraid of life, afraid of death, afraid of everything. Yet normalizing this as ‘the way it is’.

And that is the way it is if you are trapped in duality. But Vedanta gives you the right kind of glasses – the nondual ones that work even if your human eyes do not – to ‘see’ that game as the hypnosis of duality. To ‘see’ that you are the witness of it, that it is a dream appearing in you. To see that there is nothing wrong with the world or with you other than the fact that it is only Maya that separates you from knowing and living as the Self, appearing ‘here’ in human form.

GF: I  read, studied, and listened to a great deal of Vedanta, yet without truly wanting to *know* the Self (Self-Knowledge)… I was merely learning things *about* the Self (knowledge *about* the Self)—or about Karma Yoga, Dharma, and so on. I knew—or perhaps feared—that only greater suffering would compel me to undertake *sadhana*; and, indeed, that is precisely what is unfolding in my life right now.

Sundari: Indirect knowledge about the Self is better than none, but it does not remove ignorance.  However, this is part of the process, so do not be hard on yourself.  Everyone goes through this stage, depending on qualifications. The mind is inherently lazy and looks for shortcuts because the ego does not want freedom.  It wants to maintain its hold on the mind and the identification it has with being ‘a person’. There is nothing to gain for the ego to commit to moksa – it fears its own demise.  This is why many people fear powerful teachings because of the change they will bring to their lives. 

Committing to self-inquiry entails hard work and giving up not only your egoic comfort zones, but also the ego’s fantasy idea about who you are.  To ‘do’ self-inquiry properly means being willing to investigate and have revealed EVERYTHING about the jiva persona.  It must all come to light, not because it is important and definitely not because it is ‘true’. Because it is hidden and denied. 

I repeat: only ‘stuff’ that is buried and denied causes pain. But seeing it is not pleasant at all for the ego; in fact it can often be excruciatingly painful as most egos are very fragile entities.  You see this in the way we all have to go out of our way to be ‘nice’ and PC in our interactions with others. It is so easy for people who believe they are people to get offended. ‘You bad person, you ‘hurt’ my feelings’!!  While it is polite and kind not to hurt people’s feelings or they yours, feelings are not you. You would be much better served to investigate why you feel what you feel, what samskaras your feelings come from and where those truly originate. Beginningless ignorance, the gunas, of course.

The ego will avoid objectifying its feelings and really seeing what is behind them like the plague. Best keep that bad stuff buried, who needs to know about it! This is why people are so terrified of facing their ‘bad’ shame-filled side, and so afraid anyone will ‘see’ it! So desperate is the ego to be trusted, liked and accepted. without having to ‘go there’.

The biggest problem with not being committed to self-inquiry and what that really entails is that you will never make progress with your sadhana until you make peace with the fact that both dharma and adharma are woven together in mithya. They cannot be separated. And the only way to step out of that whirlpool is with Self-knowledge. I expand on this in the satsang I posted recently,’ The Angel and Demon in Me’. Read it if you haven’t already.

Additionally, if you have the karma of an inquirer, avoiding ‘doing the work’ and not committing to self-inquiry will lead to more suffering, as you know. Toxic ideas do not go away because they are buried. They only get stronger and more toxic. When the time comes for you to grow, you are sitting in the hot spot. You can be sure Isvara will keep turning up the heat until you face what needs to seen.

GF: At first, I didn’t know where to begin; I didn’t know how to “structure” my day around the Self. Sure… there was Dharma… Karma Yoga… devotion… the core values… the prerequisites (qualifications)… How many times had I read and listened to Vedanta teachings from Shiningworld? Many times—so very many! Yet, I still didn’t know—in concrete, practical terms—how to “structure” that practice within the context of my daily life.  

Sundari: Again this is a normal part of the process of learning how to surrender to the teachings and committing to trusting that only they – not the ego – can lead to freedom. It involves putting all your ideas aside and allowing the scripture to re-train the mind, which has been entrained by duality, to think completely differently. It is not easy and the ego finds many ways to sabotage this. But the teachings work if you persist.

GF: Fortunately, I remembered Rory Mackay’s “Enlightenment Protocol” and began practicing the Morning and Evening Rituals. This proved to be very important. The simple act of placing my hand on my heart—and then radiating love—was a game-changer in terms of truly *feeling* what Devotion is, as well as the spirit of Karma Yoga. It was a beautiful experience. I realized that (correct me if I’m wrong) the fourth requirement—the burning desire—can be cultivated by starting from the heart.

Sundari: Most definitely. In Italian there is such a lovely term for this – dolcezza di cuore. Yoga calls the heart the hrydaya, and although we like to think that it is located physically in the human heart, it is really not located anywhere.  It appears in the ‘heart cave’, ‘located’ in the Causal Body.  It means the essence, or ‘that without which a thing is not a thing’, like sweetness is the essence of sugar; sugar cannot be sugar without sweetness. It means that the true essence of everything is consciousness. So when you bring the mind’s attention to it, you are focussing on the bliss of the Self. The trick is not to objectify the bliss but to know it as your true essence.

GF: On the other hand, what I find very difficult is knowing how to deal with the psychological suffering of the *Jiva*… Is it *Prasad* (a sacred offering) for *Ishvara*? … What should I actually *do*? … Should I simply observe it? … Should I try to manage the *gunas*? 

Sundari: As Vedanta points out at every opportunity – with all things, and particularly psychological suffering – the first and most important question is to ask: ‘ to whom does this suffering belong’? If you are the knower, it cannot be your suffering.  Yet, that still leaves the question of what to do with the jiva’s suffering, which can be intense.  The only reason applying the guna teaching to ‘your’ psychological suffering is important is to have the tools to disidentify with it as ‘yours’.  

While it seems to come from and belong to your life story, actually all suffering is an eternal principle because it comes from and belongs to the Causal body, beginningless ignorance.  It is caused by the hypnosis of duality, resulting in the misapprehension of your true nature to be the jiva instead of the Self. This is behind all psychological suffering, no matter what the story is.

A true inquirer and karma yogi sees what is there to see, understands where it comes from, that it is not the truth and not real, and offers it to Isvara as a sacrifice on the altar of karma yoga. So yes, to deal with ‘your stuff’ is essentially a three part process:

1. See it objectively, accept it for what it is without blame or shame. Do not deny it.

2. Apply the guna teaching – see how each guna plays out in your story, which one or ones dominate.

3. Manage the mind with karma yoga by surrendering your stuff to Isvara. Really surrendering, not lip service.  And trust Isvara to render all binding vasanas non-binding with the removal of ignorance.  Though Vedanta gives you the tools, it’s not an easy or simple process for the mind, and it may take a long time before deep samskaras let go and dissolve in Self-knowledge.

GF: Lately—even when I am reading or listening to teachings on Vedanta—I am often assailed by fear, guilt/shame, and a desperate sense of loneliness… Consequently, I find myself unable to read or listen to material regarding topics such as “qualifications,” “values,” and so on; rather than offering me comfort, they only make me feel inadequate.

Sundari: The first thing to keep in mind is that you are not unique in this. Everyone in the grip of Maya has some version of this tape recording on repeat running in their mind. Shame, the idea that we are unworthy, unlovable, bad or whatever else, is a universal samskara. It is what we call ‘free floating anxiety’ and it comes with the idea that you are a person. The only solution to this agonizing mental fragmentation is to follow the steps above. 

Recognise that this is just a recording your mind made up based on ignorance that is simply not true. Not from the relative point of view as a jiva, and certainly not as the Self.  These are the voices of rajas and tamas, fear and denial, and you do not have to listen to them.  You can simply say NO! Visualize yourself switching the recording OFF – and keep doing this for as long as it is necessary.

GF: My question is this: for instance, if I choose to focus solely on *other* topics within Vedanta—bypassing the more challenging ones—am I engaging in “spiritual bypassing”?

Sundari: No, you cannot skip this part because it is fundamental to the whole process of self-inquiry. Many inquirers try this and they simply get stuck. See why above.

GF: Or is this actually a beneficial approach, in that these more “comfortable” topics at least keep me connected to the Scriptures, while perhaps simultaneously allowing me to attend to the *gunas*?

Sundari: It is more pleasant and convenient to skip this part of course. And reading the Scriptures is always a good thing.  You can definitely skip the work of cleaning up the jiva if you are 100% seated in the Self. Then, and only then, you can rightly claim that all vasanas are not you so why bother with them? Anything less than that is simply a spiritual bypass and qualifies as enlightenment sickness.

So, again, the simple answer is: NO. There are no shortcuts to freedom, and to skip this part, which makes the ego happy, simply means ignorance is more powerful and more entrenched. To benefit from the fruit of Self-knowledge, you must face the inner demons and see that they are just paper demons.

At the same time, you do not need to wallow in mind vomit, as Chinmayananda called it.  You do not have to psychoanalyse yourself to death.  Just see things objectively, taking a stand in Awareness. Objectify, objectify, objectify.  The fear and reluctance you feel is just rajas and tamas trying to stop your progress.  Don’t let them. Hear this again: there is nothing whatsoever wrong with you. The only problem is ignorance of your true nature.          

GF: Perhaps I overdid it with the psychology at the end of the email…

Be patient, I’ll summarize the Jiva’s problem…
…to sum up the Jiva issue of feeling his heart in pain, what to do?
1. Just always taking a stand in Awareness/the Self;
2. Just always crying as long as needed by the body;
3. Managing the gunas until the mind is back to “normal” efficiency;
4. What else?

Sundari: See above.  Patience is important because ignorance is the hardest thing to eradicate from the mind. Be kind to yourself, nurture and allow the dolcezza di cuore to grow.

Keep at it dear friend, you are always supported

Much love

Sundari