Q: I am curious to ask you about menopause. Many of my friends are having such a hard time with this part of life. 100% of my female friends do not have Self-Knowledge either which means they are strongly identified with the body. Hormones are the Kings and Queens and can mess with all sorts of systems in the vessel including how impactful they can be on the mind. I am most curious about how you found the journey through menopause with Self-Knowledge. Would you be open to sharing with me a little bit about what happened for you?
Sundari: As an inquirer, the body poses the biggest obstacle and challenge to Self-knowledge because it is the ultimate symbol of duality, of change and inconstancy. And though it can be negated as a non-essential variable with Self-knowledge, which is the absolute key to moksa, the body/mind never goes away. Until the body dies, of course. Even when you know that your true identity is the Self, the body is still subject to the gunas.
The body is on loan to us from Isvara; it does not belong to us. It is part of the field of existence, and never the same from moment to moment. The processes that go on every minute of every day to keep us alive, and at the same time, move us toward the death of the body, are mind-blowing. Both syntropy and entropy are always going on, until death wins. Which it always does, in the end.
Most people have zero or very little knowledge let alone appreciation of how incredible an instrument the body is. The intelligence that keeps it going, and is imbued in every cell, is an astonishing miracle. Even though many do not respect the body for what it is and does, sadly most people are very much identified with the it because it is the most ‘there’ thing in existence for us humans, who are self-conscious and aware that we ‘have a body’.
Coupled with the fact that the Gross body is run by the Subtle body (mind) which is reflected consciousness, most people are identified with the mind as ‘who they are’. All the same, the body/mind may not be real from the nondual perspective, but ignoring the body/mind is virtually impossible. It is ‘in your face’ at all times, other than deep sleep. Which is why deep sleep is such a blessed relief and so essential.
The field of life is a sea of constant change, of things that bite and bless. The gunas are cycling constantly, as are our vasanas, especially if they are binding, as they are for most people. It’s a case of respect, adapt and die, because you cannot live or die well if you do not honour and accommodate to life. The body causes so much trouble for most people, either because it is going through inevitable changes like menopause or aging, or it is unhealthy through lack of respect and knowledge of how to look after it. Or it is a prisoner of mind that is run by rajas and/or tamas, and deep binding samskaras.
The only solution to the body/mind problem is to manage the mind with Self-knowledge. But even with Self-knowledge, the body can be such a drain, especially when in pain or deep discomfort, which happens to everyone ‘in a body’, sooner or later. It is not hard to see how things can and do become very difficult for anyone, even dedicated inquirers, to stay focussed on the Self as the witness of the body. Sattva is always present, but not always easy to access when the body is ill, in pain or discomfort, for whatever reason.
What always matters most is discriminating satya, the Self, from mithya, the body/mind.  James’ talk this Sunday on Zoom will be on negating the non-essential variables, which is at the root of self-inquiry, so that the inquirer becomes firmly seated in the Self, satya, as its primary identity. But to get to where the secondary identity as the person, the body/mind, is handled, no matter what is going on with the body, requires fully understanding mithya, the apparent reality. That is where inquiry matters most. It is impossible to jump straight to satya without first understanding and negating mithya.
Aka, ‘your’ body/mind and the field of life it exists in. Your story and how you/it relates to every moment of your existence. Is that as Existence, capital ‘E’, that which makes all experience and knowledge of experience/objects possible and objectified? Or is it existence as in I keep getting sucked into the experiencing entity, and believe that is who I am, with all the trauma being a body/mind involves?
Like so many other inevitable changes, menopause is just another process affecting the body. While men go through changesd and have hormonal difficulties, women definitely have it tougher in some ways because of the unique functions the female body has. But whatever gender, it is guaranteed that the body is always subject to change. It is going to be used up and discarded one fine day, and every day we get closer to that. But most important of all and our saving grace, the body/mind is an object known to me, the Self.Â
You can do a lot to manage the mind, especially if you have Self-knowledge. But nothing to be done about the body’s natural changes, except taking appropriate care of it, and remaining the witness. You are not the body/mind. You are eternal and cannot change, are never born and cannot die. Have deep compassion for anyone who does not know the truth of who they are. Mithya is a cruel master.Â
As for how I dealt with menopause, even though I have always been healthy and fit, the body does what it has to do. As stated, there is no escaping its cycles and the ever constant cycling and changing of the gunas. Menopause just intensifies that process because of the wild swings between rajas and tamas, making sattva difficult to maintain.Â
I found bio identical hormone therapy helped a lot, and I was lucky that menopause was relatively mild for me. Of course, I was very blessed indeed to have firm Self-knowledge and was able to understand the process, objectify and disidentify with the body/mind. It is not an easy thing to do, but Self-knowledge does work if it is firm.
I hope this helps
Sundari
