Ella: Thank you for your feedback I should have been clearer about the situation. It’s not about looking after the land which I love doing. It was about a big landowner who is a local bully who wants to put a School in this nature sensitive area. He has upset the whole village and bullied neighbours into submission by threatening them who like me are concerned about the traffic on single track roads very similar to yours, with no passing places so not fit for purpose. I have asked him to put in a new sewage septic tank because the old one is also not fit for purpose and he won’t be doing that for three years. So a sewage spill would be devastating to all the work we have done to the river and the land.
The vasana was to say nothing, which is what I normally do or to stand up for something which I don’t often do and when I stood up for it, we had a huge row he was so rude and he is full of hatred for me, which I find painful and difficult as I didn’t start this.
He said I am either with him or against him that the school is important for the community but it isn’t it. There are very good other schools that are available 6 miles away this is a money making enterprise.
My behaviour is always to not say anything for fear of punishment. The karma Yoga was the action to voice my concerns about sewage and the results are his fury with me. And I don’t know whether to just back off going forward and not confront people if I feel something is wrong or stand my ground. Not saying anything is cowardly but then perhaps I am a coward.
I very much appreciate talking to you about this because I am finding it hard to be clear about taking action when something needs to be said and yes this is psychological on the one hand because it is about behaviour but I am not good with these vicious attacks.
I know that you have been attacked in many ways for what you share with us and you are very able to manage it, how do I learn how to do this? During this outburst from him, I lost connection to myself because of the upset. I am still pondering on this incident as it has really rattled me.
Sundari: I can really understand why you feel so strongly about the preservation of the environment, it’s a noble dharmic quest. It’s so hard to understand why Isvara also supports those who break dharma. Mithya really is a tough thing to figure out. It can all seem so hopeless from the jiva point of view. The only option and way to make peace with it is to keep doing what one can, stand up and fight when and where one can, and remain dispassionate as the witness. What unfolds (or doesn’t) is not in the jiva’s control.
On some level we as jiva’s cannot understand, everything is working as it must. Not perfect, just the way it is. And it really does not touch you as the Self because it is all a dream known to you. I know James gave you similar advice – do what you can to expose this bully, play the game. It isn’t a pleasant thing to do.
Keep soldiering on in the dharma army with a smile, and remember to laugh at the absurdity of it all. You are such a kind, good person. With regards to losing connection to yourself, that is not actually possible. Your emotions temporarily got in the way of access to your Self. Emotions will do that if we do not quickly regain dispassion when they are triggered, and the mind identifies with the feelings. It clearly triggered an old pattern – you had the same situation with a family member some years ago. And you stood up to the bullying.
Don’t be too hard on yourself, feeling management is the toughest part of anyone’s journey. It is human to get rattled when faced with such aggression and vitriol, the usual MO of bullies. It is horribly unpleasant, but you are free to feel as the Self. Just keep it objective and don’t dwell on the bad feelings or get sucked into the toxicity. Responding from emotionality is the weakest response and will only worsen things on all levels.
I think you should keep doing what you can with quiet and determined dignity, and do not give in to the bullying. James gave you good advice, I think you should follow it. Remember bullying always comes from weakness, not strength. Bullies win by bullying, but see the fear behind it, feel compassion for the kind of mind that must resort to those tactics to get what it wants at all costs. However hard it is to see, behind the fear, the bully too is God.
Or you can let it go without blame or shame. It’s a tough fight but if you don’t have to fight it, hopefully Isvara will send someone else. Or not, and things will be what they are. There is an upside and downside to everything. We never know what Isvara knows because only Isvara is omniscient. As unbalanced as the mithya field seems to be, especially these days, there is always a bigger picture behind it all.
Take heart, this is a very nasty situation and fighting like this is not in your nature. It’s OK to be human, up to a point. Beyond that point, its bondage and suffering.
Much love
Sundari
ShiningWorld.com
