Samuel: It seems as though awareness which is always there and is my true nature has 4 expressions:
1. Focused awareness. My awareness is narrowed. Ex: I’m cutting vegetables for dinner focused on the cutting.
2. Broad awareness. I’m focused on cutting vegetables yet hear the doorbell ring.
3. Aware I’m cutting vegetables.
4. Awareness that’s aware of the awareness That I’m cutting g vegetables
Does this make sense?
Sundari: The question to ask is: Is Awareness aware? The defining words in your list above are ‘I’ and ‘my’. Who do they refer to, Self or jiva? As you know, the mind or jiva is aware thanks to Awareness shining on the mind. But is our awareness (sentiency) the same as Awareness? We can say that ‘our’ awareness expresses in different ways and degrees, depending on what gunas are playing out in the mind (how sattvic it is), or what is happening in our environment to distract it. But Awareness itself has no levels or degrees and is unaffected by what is going on in the mind. This is a nondual reality, so there is only one Self, one Awareness, for which nothing ever happens. Awareness is not an experiencing entity though it makes experience possible for the jiva.
How can Awareness be aware of the Awareness? That is the ego, or jiva talking, i.e., Samuel watching Samuel’s mind. ‘The Awareness’ implies that there is another Awareness aware of itself. Awareness is self-effulgent, meaning it does not require objects to know itself. If you identify with ‘an’ or ‘the’ Awareness you are still trapped in duality. Awareness is just Awareness. Even the words ‘self-aware’ imply duality, a Self, and something for it to be aware of. But that is impossible because Awareness is non-dual. Awareness is one without a second.
While the scriptures states that the Self is self-aware in the beginning stages of self-inquiry, this is not strictly true. The Self is the only aware, i.e., a sentient knower, when Maya is operating. Remember, reality is unborn, non-dual Existence/Consciousness. It is not a knower unless Maya provides objects. Maya is the material principle, which is not sentient. It seems to be sentient because Awareness pervades it, but it isn’t. When Maya is present it seemingly deludes Awareness (the jiva) into thinking that it is incomplete, provides a world of attractive objects, and convinces it that it can remove its sense of incompleteness if it gets the objects it is attracted to.
Nonduality is counterintuitive. When the mind starts looking inwards, Maya deludes it into thinking that Awareness (capital ‘A’)is another desirable object, the attainment of which will set it free, which is impossible because it is already free, and because there are no objects in Awareness to attract Awareness. Herein lies all ‘the work’ of self-inquiry.
When any experience occurs in the mind, it is only known by Awareness because is the only sentient being when Maya is operating. But, if you subtract Maya, you cannot call Awareness sentient because there is nothing for it to be sentient of. There is only Awareness. You can only call it Existence/Awareness.
Therefore, whether you are focused on chopping vegetables or distracted by the doorbell ringing, it is the presence of Awareness making it possible to be cognizant of what is transpiring in your environment and/or in your mind, which is an object known to you, Awareness. The sentiency belongs to Awareness, though in essence, Awareness is not sentient in the way we think of sentiency, as explained above. Freedom is the ability to think both as the jiva, the experiencing entity, and the Self, the non-experiencing entity, but never to confuse the two.
Love,
Sundari
