Now for a change of pace. Vedanta and psychotherapy are serious business….right? Well, both yes and no. Let me introduce my latest topic … playfulness. Even though it’s probably a familiar term, (playfulness is synonymous with good humor, lightheartedness, and conviviality), I know we typically conceive of spiritual practice and psychotherapy as serious business. But we always are at risk for taking ourselves too seriously. When we do so, there’s no better way to feed the beast, our egos. That’s a big no-no in both endeavors. As you probably guessed, I’m biased. I’m a huge fan of playfulness. So much so, that I’ve risked getting into hot water with it. Occasionally someone misunderstands my motives and thinks I’m poking fun at them…laughing at them, rather than with them. Apparently, it’s a risk I’m compelled to take, because when it succeeds, it’s like winning the lottery. So be careful, there’s always a risk that you will be misunderstood. There’s some skill and timing involved with being playful.

So what does Vedanta have to say about this topic? As I sit here writing this blog , I’m visualizing two statues I have in my home. Images of the gods dancing their asses off… One Shiva, the other Ganesh. That should tell you everything you need to know. Although it’s not specified, I might be tempted to add playfulness to the list of qualifications for self-inquiry. When you think about it there’s a good bit of irony in Vedanta. You’ve devoted yourself to looking for something, only to discover you were “That” something all along….It’s like thinking you’ve lost your head, only to look in the mirror, and realize it was there all along!…(Vedanta being a word mirror that reflects your true self.). When you think about it, it’s pretty ironic/funny. But it could be tragic, if you are unfortunate enough not to have access to a mirror.

Since playfulness is an attitude, it’s likely subsumed in the Satva Guna. Applied to Karma yoga, it could signal a nuanced relationship with Isvara. Rather than bowing to God’s will, you could flourish in God’s garden. I know, I know…. Dharma’s serious business. But lighten up. Don’t make it harder than it has to be. I believe Moksa is a nondual attitude tantamount to freedom and lightheartedness and when lived, has a playful quality.

What about psychotherapy? That should be self evident. Most of us will not have flourishing interpersonal relationships, if they lack this playful component. After all, it’s the first thing we do as human beings to become social. We play. Maybe you think we outgrow the need for play, but we don’t. In fact, if you don’t make an effort to engage life with this spirit, you will likely inhabit a two dimensional world. Not good!

Do we have to be serious at times? Of course. We need structure, rules, and organization to play well together. Once again, not an either/or. But be aware of maintaining a balance. Even at something as solemn as a funeral, there’s always room for humorous remembrances at the reception.

Hopefully I’ve provided a gentle reminder or food for thought about the topic of playfulness. Don’t be afraid to have fun with your spiritual practice and in turn, your personal relationships. I look forward to your thoughts on the matter.

Dear X…

Here’s my analysis of your email to James. As we all live in a community, first as dependent children with our parents and relatives, the need to be loved is crucial for our emotional survival. As children we are loved, but as we grow we need to reassure ourselves that we are still loved and worthy to live among others. That‘s why you depend on the “opinion of others“ and the “desire to be liked.“

There is nothing wrong with that, but if you don’t deeply question your unworthyness, it will accompany you for your whole lifetime. It’s clear that feeling this way doesn’t serve you for the good. Shame is the flipside. Trying to please others to get love in return is shameful.

Applying the opposite thought is a good means to change your perspective. You can’t stop the unhelpful thinking…at least not at first…but you can learn to intelligently manage your relationship to your thoughts. And yes, there is nothing wrong with whatever thoughts occur. The secret is to dedicate them all to Ishvara…return to sender…let them go and expect nothing in return. Letting go is better than they result of any action. It is liberating. This is Karma Yoga. Intensify your practice and your mind will become pure and you will generate a sattvic bubble on your own. No need to wait for the satsang on Sunday night.

This unhealthy feeling is due to identifying with the body/mind entity’s likes and dislikes. Your gunas are managing you. You are sattvic in satsangs and tamasic/rajasic when you are on your own. If you practice the opposite thought…”I am unborn whole and complete non-dual love”…diligently, you will get more sattvic and you will notice what is already there…yourself, the witnessing consciousness. The witness is an inquirer. Witnessing is discrimination between what’s real (satya) and what’s apparently real (mithya). The process of discrimination loosens the degree of identification with the apparent objects, thoughts, feelings, etc. in the apparent world (maya is mithya). Dis-identification leads to the realization “I am not that jiva entity.” Ignorance goes. It unfolds your true nature as love.

Proponent:  The shortcut to Consciousness is to just be it.

Answer:   There is no shortcut because consciousness is the nature of every sentient being.  How can you be what you are?  Your statement implies that you can do to be but you can’t do unless you already are.  You can do Self inquiry along scriptural to remove the belief that you are something other than consciousness.  A person can say E=MC² but have no knowledge of what the equation means.  To recognize yourself as consciousness takes a lot of effort and perseverance, not being. 

Proponent:  But I had the feeling that I was consciousness as a kid.  It led me to did vipassana meditation at a Buddhist Centre where I daily did sadhana of asanas and meditation (all 8 limbs of yoga).  A few years later I discovered another spiritual group and I was there almost daily, volunteering, meditating, doing courses.

But the last 10 years I just got sucked back into the mind, the physical experiences, the chaos of my family. And my biggest question was, “when you know/see It, how can you “un-see” It.  How can a yogi go backwards??? LOL.

But, we can slip back into the World of senses, physicality, avarice etc. I got caught up again in the body and became very insecure.  I’m going through my inheritance now and using drugs too. They block my brain in ways  in ways that only a user can understand. But, hey, without them I wouldn’t have got through the pain and mental/physical exhaustion.

Answer:  There is no evidence that the drugs saved your soul as you point out in the next paragraph.

But that is where ISHVARA comes in, as you say. A sensitivity to and faith and trust in it, even gratitude for keeping everything held together. The yogic sciences are such an overwhelmingly beautiful system. The joy and fulfilment flooding into the body cannot help but create healing in the body and mind. Release from the World in knowing one’s own Self is… well, it’s like a natural high far beyond what any drug could achieve.

So I am very excited to be Home again. Constant vigilance over the mind will keep me secure in it. Be assured my journey is not over! Deepening and living it is a moment by moment journey.

Answer:  It is very easy to understand the flow of what happened.  The times when the mind was quiet and peaceful is the sattvic mind so pure Consciousness, yourself, shines through.

But you did not get the knowledge that you are eternal, limitless Consciousness. Like all human beings, we start being ignorant of the Consciousness we are and think we are a mind-body with Consciousness. We think the quiet peaceful mind is it but the mind is matter and matter is threefold so it changes and trigger change in circumstances. The guna changes from sattva to rajas and tamas; they rotate round and round in any order endlessly. Gunas are trap of samsara.

So we get surprised … “I lost it!” … “got sucked back”. Yes, we lose the sattvic mind because its nature is to be lost, to change. It may be present for a long time but it will definitely change when rajas and tamas arise. What you “knew and saw” was not pure unchanging Consciousness. It was Consciousness and sattva guna. The guna changed and with the guna it seems as if the Consciousness changes or that Consciousness is gained.  Anything that is gained will be lost or changed. It is that simple.

All the time, in the background, was/is the eternal Consciousness, unrecognised, unknown. It is this Consciousness that Vedanta points to and wants us to recognise and abide as. The conscious mind-body person will keep on changing, shifting, experiencing the ups and downs, gains and loss, “got it” and “oops, lost it”, etc. This is the play of the gunas. It is not Consciousness.

That is why this knowledge from Vedanta is so unique. No other tradition talks about it. Patanjali’s Ashtanga Yoga and Vipassana train the mind to be a good watcher, catch thought, emotions, sensations, consciousness as they arise. But all such traditions do not mention Consciousness with the Capital C. All others refer to small c consciousness in the mind, but that is not the Consciousness which Vedanta points to … pure Presence of Be-ing, unconditioned Awareness, complete Fulfilment, Atma (Consciousness pervading), Brahman (Consciousness universal). It is always present and never changes. It is unaffected by the gunas, beyond the mind. Hence, Consciousness is always free.

That Consciousness, you are, here and now, not a person with a mind and consciousness.  You are immortal, eternal, changeless, limitless, infinite, complete and fulfilled, free from matter and gunas, here and now.

The person we think and believe we are, will never be complete nor fulfilled. It is bound, dependent, imperfect, affected by the gunas, by past karma, by personal tendencies, by space, by time. It is trapped in duality.

All that needs to be done is eliminate ignorance with knowledge and, bingo, the Consciousness we always and already are, is revealed and recognised immediately. But as discussed, it takes work, study, listening to the correct teaching repeatedly.  Perseverance.  This is Vedantic meditation. Persevere because ignorance is deep and strong, ‘hard-wired’. Slowly, the veil of ignorance is removed and what a blessing when recognition happens!

So, which do you identify as, a person with the mind and consciousness or  Consciousness?

You decide and accept the consequences of your choice. It is really a no-brainer.

Identify as person means more suffering, even with a nice, quiet mind. It will inevitably change and you will think you “lost it” and suffer.

Identify as Consciousness and you are free, whatever the outer circumstances and the inner state of the conscious mind affected by the relevant guna. As Consciousness, You were free, You are free here and now, You will always be free … whether with a mind-body or without a mind-body … for ever and ever

Regarding your last Zoominar on The Yoga of the Three Gunas, I do have a question regarding disease/dis-ease in terms of the three gunas/energies.

Would one be accurate in one’s understanding if one were to look at dis-ease such as cancer (malignant tumours) as impure rajas and tamas?

If I am correct in my understanding would it then mean that in order to heal oneself one would therefore need to cultivate and develop a predominantly sattva mind which in turn would neutralise these negative energies within the body, purify rajas and tamas and thus rid yourself of these negative energies/cancer/malignant tumours?

James:  Yes, but one is never sure how much karma has been created by the rajasic/tamasic energy syndrome.  So even though you diligently cultivate sattva, the effects of your previous actions will continue to fructify for some time.  This is not to say the one shouldn’t cultivate sattva, however.  If you change your habits you give the body relief from the pressure of the rajas/tamas complex, allowing the sattvic energy to fight the remaining disease.  And you won’t be providing an environment for the the growth of new tumors.  At the same time you need to continue to strengthen the mind so that it remains steady in the face of adversity.

Love,

James

I hope you’re well and so is Sundari!  You’re with me ‘wherever I go‘ and I just cannot start a letter to you without telling you how grateful I am, that you and the teaching appeared one fine day and turned everything around – finally! A turning around, which I always knew deep inside of me, must somehow be possible, that couldn’t have been all to life… but how? I didn’t have a clue! And although in this mail I really want to ask you for your attention as my teacher and not only praise you, I just feel so much love and gratitude that you share the knowledge so generously and that you’re available! So first of all: Thank you.

In the last months, after I’ve visited the seminar you gave at Suryalila and I’ve told you I would like to write to you – I didn’t forget it obviously! But I also didn’t want to bother you with something half-baked. We could also call it a slight predominance of tamas 😉 The tamas – on the other hand – gave me the precious opportunity to think and contemplate once more about the Gunas and in general about mithya and its proper understanding. 

I know that I’m the Self in which the conditioning of the person (nothing more than a continuous series of thoughts and accompanying emotions) plays out. One could name it the play of the gunas, ignorance or whatever one wants, but it will never change the fact that the Self is absolutely unaffected by the apparent play. 

Some weeks ago I had a pretty tamasic week although Larry was very sattvic. He felt like the cat’s pajamas. I couldn’t stand it! He was happy and clear, but also arrogant and conceited. Thanks to just enough sattva on my side I could clearly see the `disease pattern` of sattva, which was very liberating. But before the feeling of liberation through a deepening of understanding sunk in, embarrassment kicked in, remembering how often in the last years I was “Mrs. Knowing it better and I tell you about it and show you, if you want or not”, because of the confidence of sattva. No question, sattva is beautiful and makes the mind clear and the reflection easy, but it’s a chain too and it’s just a reflection – an appearance in mithya – not the light itself.  It’s a chain, not only because one can be stuck there on `the way to liberation` in it feeds the ego.  Or after the understanding of one’s true nature mixing the Knowledge with the experience of a sattvic mind, but also because you just can be an annoying person when you are sattvic.

I would say that a very pure sattvic mind is just beautiful and a gift to the Jiva and the world. but as soon it gets mixed more strongly with another guna, the ego tends to `use it` as support for rajasic or tamasic needs). I guess one can always recognise this state of mind, if there’s a strong desire to share something with the world. 

I’ve found my little examination about sattva also interesting, because it shows clearly once more that since the play of the gunas is in a constant state of flux, we cannot trust the mind. From the standpoint of a predominately tamasic mind I can’t cope with the predominance of sattva. If I would have been the same sattvic-rajasic like Larry, we would have been two cat’s pajamas. So it’s similar to the three states; since it changes it cannot be real, I cannot count on the mind, the view is always filtered and not reliable! I know – on the other hand – how valuable words are. Vedanta only deals with words to transport knowledge. The mind will just never become perfect. It is duality itself.

And therefore it’s also not easy to stay objective accurately with one’s own state of mind or the proportions of the Gunas and interfere intelligently… although I would say mostly it’s possible for me to be clear about the relative proportions of the gunas and I’m able to bring some balance back. But sometimes when I get triggered, I identify with it and cannot just stay 100% consciously present, leave the situation in its order of reality and be the witness, free of it all. It’s like a voice which says: Yes, yes, I know who I am, I’m full and complete, limitless, unconcerned awareness, but I jiva still need to take care of this and that and tell my boyfriend that he sucks. It just makes no sense. I know in general it’s not a problem to have whatever feeling or thought or even a fight (it’s anyway not up to me) but it feels kind of binding and identified sometimes. 

It never takes long to be knowingly the Self and be just the loving witness of the show, but, dear James, it happens that I get a little bit too identified with a thought and I ask you for advice.

One assumption is that the temporary cloudiness is fed from the (ignorant) thought, something needs to be optimised.  Similar to the belief; a very sattvic state of mind is the evidence for The Knowledge. That’s of course no freedom at all, but dependence, ignorance and mixing up sathya and mithya. I’m a little bit stuck there. I know it’s not true, but the thought-pattern still appears.  I also find myself sometimes being a little bit mechanical in situations. 

You know, I think and contemplate about these things all the time and I know that I’m not it. I know that my identity is flawless and infinite. So any slightest irritation, any disturbing, distraction thought is worth an investment. What do you think?

One more thing: I’ve heard you saying several times that people don’t really want to hear what you can tell them and show them about themselves.  So I want to invite you here and now to tell me about every blind spot about Jiva Ute – even and especially when it will turn into nectar a little later. For example I remember you wrote to my ex-boyfriend in an email that Ute is proud.

Hi Ute,

I’m glad you wrote.  Here’s my take on the situation.  At what point do you just accept Ute’s small imperfections and turn your attention to the Self?  Perhaps you are overthinking this situation a bit.  Perhaps you are a bit too conscientious.  You can’t optimize situations.  But you can optimize your mind.  How?  Just accept the situation as “what is.”  The conflict in you and with Larry is the Self. You have no control of his state of mind but, as you say, “it never takes long to be knowingly the Self, the loving witness…”  So just go to the Self right away instead of pandering to your negative feelings.  Or just see him as the Self and let the irritation turn to love.  If everything is the Self, meaning you, then love him as much as you love yourself.  You can optimize the mind…establish it in sattva…but you can’t make it 100% sattvic.  I think you’re confusing satya and mithya, expecting Ute to be a perfectly spiritual person and your relationship to be a perfect relationship.  You can never make perfect what is imperfect by nature.  This is perhaps where pride comes in.  Can you only be proud of yourself if life fits your idea of what it should be?  It’s clear you love each other so just have your fights but limit them to a few hours.  Evidently the basic issues, money and privacy, haven’t been laid to rest.  Even then, so what?  You can get a job and let him sit alone in his room for days on end if he wants.  Or just say, “Larry is Larry,” take a walk and come home with love in your heart.  I don’t want to stereotype, but Germans tend to be a little too obsessed with being right.  I walked against the light in a town in Bavaria one time and a house frau came running out of her house and followed me down the street for a good five minutes shouting a violent lecture at the top of her lungs so everyone could hear.  It’s good that I didn’t understand German.  Say, “hi” to Larry.

Ute: Thank you very much! What you’ve said resonates with me 100%. As usual you hit the nail right on the head – You’re the best! I was hoping to hear that I’m overthinking it. It seemingly needs a little time for me to fully relax into being just a normal imperfect person again. On the one hand the recognition of my true nature is like finally coming home, finally being able to relax, no agenda, noThing. And on the other hand it kind of also hit me like a Tornado but the Self doesn’t move an inch. It unmovable/quiet/unchanging/always present and Ute overflows with joy/ a bursting vision of non duality/ in an impeccable flow with isvara. The storm is over now, knowledge and peace is all I need.

Much love,

Ute

Petra:  This is still in spite of making ongoing challenging decisions and clearing my father’s flat of everything, which has been quite a bit of work though this optimistic energy seems more and more present. 

Sundari: A clear indication that Self-knowledge is working in your life with all its challenges.  Mithya is mithya, that never changes; it can only create an imperfect world because of the nature of duality.  Expecting things to be different or wanting a particular result is the source of so much suffering.  Freed from the dictatorial force of fear-based desire, the Self shines through regardless of what’s going on in your life. Though changing our life for the better is not the main aim of assimilating Self-knowledge it is the unavoidable side-effect. So, we find ourselves smiling and happy even when ‘life’s a piece of shit when you think of it!’ as Monty Python sang in The Life of Brian. There’s a lot of that going around right now!

Petra: I do have a question.   I wonder about sattva and this joyousness, does consciousness, existence, awareness, the love always reflect through sattva, or is it direct?   Perhaps I shouldn’t question it, just enjoy the beauty and the love but I have found small me wondering.

Sundari:  Well, who is asking this question? As the Self, all three gunas are objects known to you, none of them affect you one bit. For the jiva that is a different matter.  Knowing we are the Self we still want the jiva to be happy, so we aim for sattva at all times of course, but the gunas will play out regardless. As you know, all three gunas are always present to a greater or lesser degree—and all three gunas are necessary to maintain balance for the jiva. When any one of the three gunas is out of balance, it means its negative qualities tend to manifest—and along with it, the negative qualities of the other two gunas tend to manifest as well. Sattva has a negative side as do rajas and tamas have a positive side.

That said, sattva is the springboard guna for the Self to shine in a pure mind. Sat, Existence/Consciousness (of which sattva is the most subtle manifestation), is actually the true nature of the mind. As such it is not a quality that you can really gain more of—but it can be contaminated by the downside of sattva or obscured by rajas and tamas out of balance with sattva. Because of the nature of the gunas, which make up and govern the creation of everything, the nature of the Field of Existence is constantly changing.  However, the Self shines regardless of rajas and tamas appearing in the mind, which is why you experience the natural state of bliss even when things are tough for the jiva.  

Sattva is a state of mind that is purely experiential and therefore does not last. It certainly will not free the person from dependence on objects (including dependence on feeling good)or end the subtle existential suffering that comes with it. Having a peaceful (sattvic) mind is not something anyone can hold onto indefinitely.  One needs to gain the knowledge that you are always fine no matter what is going on in the mind,even though one aims for peace of mind at all times.  Making sure one’s life conforms to dharma in every way is of great importance if peace of mind is the main aim.  A highly rajasic or tamasic life is definitely not conducive to peace of mind and will make Self-inquiry impossible, or at best, very difficult. Sounds like you have that right, from what you say, which shows that Self-knowledge is bearing fruit and is becoming firm, as I said above. 

We once had a discussion on sattva which I seem to remember resulted in a significant breakthrough for you. We talked about the common occurrence among spiritual seekers to get stuck identifying with sattva because it feels so good.  But dependence on sattva is dependence on an object for happiness, which is the opposite of freedom.  You are the Self regardless of whether the mind is sattvic, tamasic, or rajasic and why we say that a jivanmukta welcomes all three gunas equally.

Another trap in the spiritual trap inquirers fall into is believing they are making progress or even done with self-inquiry because their minds are predominantly sattvic.  A common manifestation of the negative side of sattva is what we call getting stuck in the olden cage of experiential bliss, thinking happiness is the Holy Grail and that you are quite special because your mind and lifestyle are sattvic.  Many wrongly identify with the feeling of sattva believing that without it they (and nobody else) can qualify as being ‘spiritual’ or ‘enlightened’.

The problem arises with the misapprehension of what moksa really is as well as the different meanings of the word “bliss”.  I think we have been through this before, but it won’t hurt to recap as this is such an important and very subtle point.  Not getting it holds many inquirers back. There are two kinds of bliss: ananda which is experiential bliss, and anantum, which is the bliss of the Self. The bliss of the Self—that which is always present, unlimited, and unchanging—is not an experience (feeling) because it is your true nature, anantum.  

Existence/Awareness is present whether or not ananda is present. The bliss of Self-knowledge (anantum) however can be experienced as a feeling, such as the bliss of deep sleep, which is inferred when you wake up, or as parabhakti where love is known to be you, your true nature, meaning Consciousness, the Self. Parabhakti is having all you could ever want and knowing that it will never leave you.  It is love loving itSelf.  It is experienced as limitless satisfaction.  

The nature of the Self, Awareness is parama prema svarupa.  Parama means limitless; svarupa means nature and prema is the love the makes love possible.  In its presence even spiritual love comes alive; however spiritual love no matter how pure is dualistic.  It is a transaction between a subject and an object, a feeling of love, for example.  When I know I am Awareness, I am prema, limitless love.  This love is knowledge because Awareness is intelligent.  Prema is only known directly when the doer has been negated by Self-knowledge.

What living a dharmic life gives you is an experienceable peaceful mind capable of inquiry, such as you say you have. It is so such an improvement on a mind run by rajas and tamas that many inquirers stop there. But what moksa gives you is much more–the bliss of Self-knowledge, which is very different from ephemeral experiential bliss, and it is permanent.  When moksa has obtained in the mind one may and usually does feel experiential bliss regularly, but one does not depend on it because you know you are the bliss. In fact, you could be stuck in a situation you do not enjoy but cannot change, such as you have been, and feel blissful, nonetheless. Experiential bliss does not disappear when Self-knowledge is firm, it just does not matter whether the experience of bliss is present or not because the bliss of Self-knowledge is always present and known to be your true nature, keeping the mind steady, dispassionate, and confident. This is what we call direct Self-knowledge, and it is free of everything, including sattva.

This subject is the essence of Ramji’s recent seminar on Ramana’s Sat Darshanum. Here is a quote from an inquirer, who totally got it:

“I would like to share with you about what has come to me as a result of listening to your seminar, Ramji, on Sat Darshanam. I didn’t get it at first – what you were pointing to in choosing this topic -but it wouldn’t let me go and I found myself reflecting on what you were saying about Ramana’s statement that to know the Self is to abide firmly in the Heart. Then at a certain point something relaxed in me that I did not know was not relaxed(!) I realized that there had still been subtle effort to “be the Self” when all along of course, I am the Self. This was despite having enjoyed much benefit from Self-knowledge for a while now, but the difference relates to an understanding of what is meant by existence, is-ness, me-ness. In the mind the knowledge that existence is self-evident is clear, but the integration of that fact into one’s experience is a shift of identity that is almost impossible to put into words, like falling in love – and yet very profound in its impact. For a start, it removes a belief that there is a need to justify one’s existence through action as if it were not enough to simply exist. Happiness is a pre-existing condition that has only to be claimed and until it is claimed it is not possible to fully integrate the knowledge that one is not a doer.” 

Amen. to which I replied: It is not an experience which is why it is hard to put into words. Happiness is not claimed so much as known to be the normal state of the mind, no matter what is going on in it.

Much love

Sundari

If we look into Isvara as: (1) sattva, the intelligent cause, (2) the material cause (tamas), (3) the energetic cause (rajas), (4) the precise laws by which the universe is governed and (5) the physical manifest universe (jagata) – which, if any, of these factors are not subject to change?

Evidently jagata does change. But how about the laws governing jagata? I would say it does. But what is more intriguing is Isvara as pure sattva, the intelligent cause! Is it a changing or changeless principle? To begin with, I mentioned that this subtle analysis about the “apparent” nature of Isvara is not really relevant to self-knowledge, although a very nice inquiry.

I mentioned that I am inclined to believe that Isvara as the intelligent cause IS subjected to change because there is no such thing as pure sattva, Maya, the fundamental prakrit are the three energies constituted by their different proportions.

I also said that Isvara in its most fundamental apparent nature is awareness reflected on an aspect of Maya conditioned by a huge proportion of sattva. But these proportions are not fixed but changing, otherwise scriptures would not say Isvara = awareness reflected on satya-pradhana-prakrit. If Maya-prakrit is of the nature of change, Isvara may also be of the same nature. What are your thoughts about this logic?

Ramji: First of all, the gunas – Maya – are material forces. As such they are inert, which is to say incapable of change. Awareness is also incapable of change, because it is unborn, i.e. eternal. It is nirguna awareness, i.e. without qualities. But when Maya is added to awareness, it seemingly becomes a Creator and time begins. Time simply means change. Maya seemingly breaks up awareness into discrete bits that are never the same from moment to moment, so it is possible to measure the distance between events. So awareness plus Maya is awareness with qualities (saguna). Qualities change, i.e. evolve. At the same time they are eternal because they change predictably. Fire, for instance, is always hot although there are many different temperatures. So the gunas change but they don’t change. It’s all a matter of one’s perspective.

I appreciate and value so much what you have brought to my life and to our little town high in the mountains. I so value the benefit of receiving direct teachings and guidance from you. I understand the importance of what you are doing; I know it’s a work of pure love. The only proper response I have for all of this is appreciation. I am finding with your guidance, and that from Swami Dayananda, that appreciation of the Lord is proper worship, communion and even proper actualization depending on one’s perspective. Appreciation covers all the bases, I think. And I find it activates, or you might say uncovers, sattva; it does for me. It’s important, as you point out in The Yoga of the Three Energies, that one not misconstrue sat and sattva. Sometimes the sattva has been pouring in (apparently) so much it’s hard to sleep. Good problem to have, I reckon.

I could go on and on, but the purpose of this email is to ask whether it is okay for me to email you directly like this, on occasion. I have ideas for things I’d like to send you once in a while, but first I’d like your permission to do so or not, as you prefer.

Ramji: Email as you wish! 

It was two years ago that Vedanta came to me. I listened to satsangs from Ramji mostly all the time. One day, he was talking about the vasanas and qualifications for Vedanta, and after checking myself I thought, “There is some little work to do, but all in all I have a light vasana package: I am financially independent and my life is well-balanced, qualifications are there. I’m a lucky guy, after 15 years on the spiritual path I finally found this complete knowledge with this excellent teacher, so I’m good to go. They were some fine adjustments to do here and there (smiley).”

After some time listening to the karma yoga teaching, gratefulness for “my” life appeared, especially for my family, but gratitude in general came with the understanding that every little thing in life is given to me.

The relationship with my wife was highly passionate. We had a lot of issues, ups and downs, and she said that she didn’t feel connected and wanted more love/attention from me. So since I was happy, I started to love her more, but evidently this “new” attention/love wasn’t to her liking and she fell in love with another guy, and went into the same pattern with him: longing for love!

My whole life was switched upside down. I felt very sad and lost. I had this soulmate idea, that she is the one and only perfect woman for me, that with nobody else could I have THIS intimacy, that we are just the perfect couple and the perfect family, and without her I could never be really happy. 

I recognized I still thought the the joy is in the object, but I continued listening to the teachings. So there was this Ramji guy telling me that I’m okay, that I’m fine. He said the joy is (in) me, not in the object, and some part of me believed it. I felt so needy and dependent on the attention/love from this woman. This was a hard reality crash, and my love bubble collapsed. 

And I started to see me (jivaji) as I am, a needy, little dependent person, useless without the love of a woman. And after almost one year I got the proof that the scripture is right: without a woman – or anyone else – I’m really good, fine, okay.

Isvara used some hard blows to shake off ignorance and organized my life around a different principle: freedom!

This story proved that life is not at all about me, and I accepted it. Without the relationship I finally had space and time to sort out my stuff. I had to pay a high price, but it was absolutely worth it. Like James and Sundari say, “What price freedom?” To assimilate and contemplate the sweet truth (atma anatma viveka) we need a peaceful mind, a peaceful environment. Isvara took care of that. So even if I do not always understand immediately or like where God puts me down here, I have full confidence in his decisions and focus on the upside of every situation.

Pranams to Ramjji for being the candle in the dark for me.

The light of knowledge is removing the darkness of ignorance: first covered, then flickering, then clear and luminous, I am. Pranams to Isvara, the great giver, to the scripture, the whole sampradaya back to Shankara and before. Pranams to ShiningWorld!

I hope you and Sundari are doing well. I’ve been watching some of your recent videos, and you look fantastic! It looks like you had a huge crowd in Tiruvannamalai – wow, all these lucky people who are finding you! When I met you in 2011, it was with about fifteen people in the basement of that little house in Portland. Wow, that was something. I still play those recordings – they’re really good.

I ran into Frank the other day, and he came to my house for a little visit. It was nice to catch up with him. We talked about you, and ShiningWorld news, and he told me to check out your YouTube Q&A interviews with Georg. They are wonderful! And I also got an email from someone who recommended that I check out Christian Leeby, who is really doing a great thing for those of us who needed a little help with the unruly mind. He’s a gem! Thank you for all of these wonderful ShiningWorld resources.

The news from here is that – well, it’s all done! Freedom! Jeez, it only took me seven years from the time I first read your book – think I was stubborn enough? I think it would have gone faster except for a couple of things. One is that I was rebellious and went off on many tangents, thinking that I knew better than you. And the other is that I was truly “stuck in sattva” for a long time. Circumstances jolted me out of my comfy place, and it took about two years from that point to sort it out. I have only recently understood that I was mistaking sattva for me. I think that could have gone on forever if Isvara hadn’t figured out a way to challenge that belief. Thank you, Isvara!

So… YAY!!!!! And thank you, thank you, thank you, Ramji. This would not have been possible without you. I owe you everything. I have put my website back up and it mostly directs people to ShiningWorld and to you. I have already heard from a couple of “live ones,” and they are so grateful for my pointing the way to you. People are frustrated after so many years of seeking and still suffering! Vedanta to the rescue.

I would like to give you a donation – should I do it via PayPal?

I hope to see you this summer when you are in Berkeley!

~ All my love to you and Sundari, Mary

Ramji: Hi, Mary.

A few days ago I had one of those “I wonder what happened to X” thoughts. The X was you. So cool to hear from you! And such good news!!! Yes, sattva is a very difficult guna to deal with. Incidentally, I have just finished my book on the gunas. I’ll send you a copy in a couple of weeks when my publications guy gets it properly formatted. It’s pretty hot. Anyway, even the smart ones like you get stuck in sattva. They always think they are better than me. To bad I’m not one of those warm, fuzzy, meek, saintly types – they’d have to look for someone else to feel superior to. It fine. I blame the guna, not the jiva. Or as Christ said, “Hate the sin…” I remember our first meeting well – you sat by the fireplace as I pontificated. It seems like a long time ago. Appreciation is always appreciated, but you have to give yourself a big pat on the back along with Isvara and the scripture. You hung in there and you prevailed. Congratulations!!!

Yes, the Vedanta is spreading like wildfire. I’m off to Cape Town for the guna teaching next week. The venues is maxed out – 65, it seems. Then I go to Europe. A friend bought some land in Portugal and is putting up a teaching venue so we don’t have to travel around when we’re in Europe. We’ll be the States for the summer as usual – Berkeley too. If time permits maybe we can have a cuppa. Anyway, you’re the best! I love you.

~ James