I hope you know how much your companionship and teaching mean to me on this journey. I take such strength and comfort from both, and such pleasure in your strong honest nature, your curiosity which helps make such space for others to be inquisitive in, your deep learning and sisterhood and your generosity of spirit in sharing so freely. I am grateful and joyful in great and equal measure for your presence.

I am not sure I’ve ever had a grand plan, maybe some very tiny occasional attempts but much of it has felt like just sailing along, meeting whatever winds and currents along the way or sometimes as though being suddenly dragged ‘off course’ by some treacherous current and then, of course, one reacts.

And what is the teaching? I play with this a lot as I simply don’t fully understand yet…when you are already whole and complete then you can still be left with the questions about what is the point of volition…does it matter what I do as long as I truly feel this? Do I need to ‘do’ anything, shall I simply float on the current or should I kick out my legs and arms and swim for a shore of my choosing? It is perhaps the case that both are valid and it’s simply a case of one’s discerning choice over the two at different times. I find thinking about the concept of ‘wu wei’ very helpful in thinking about these things.

Yes these thoughts of worthiness, doingness, achievement they can plague us, perhaps they’re the shackles we seek to free ourselves from…moral imperatives so long learned. Can you imagine the weight of the propaganda machine we’ve been subjected to since birth. To see a glimmer of any truth beyond this is indeed perhaps a grand life’s ‘work’.

I am always trying to remember that I’m a human ‘being’ not a human ‘doing’

So much love dear Kate,

Judy xxx

P.s the word ‘bridges’ in yin and then again in meditation were so helpful and wonderful

~

Dear Judy,

Thank you for your fine crafted words.

A solace that a heart and mind may recognise the ebb and flow of life’s journey as the ability to take the bitter with the sweet. Wisdom gains and lies in the evolution of my reactions to those ‘treacherous’ moments indeed – the crux of understanding, how much have I assimilated thus far?

Do I keep reacting from the same core wound? Perhaps I need more knowledge of said wounds and how they show up as road blocks to living fully and freely.

With time and revelation personally I’m investigating and learning from the common unstable family structures of our western cultures, which can leave gaps in proper nurturance, protection and guidance and therefore add challenges to truly actualising, living and ‘feel’ as you say one’s whole and complete nature. It requires willingness and bravery, and indeed it is subtle. I need a lot of patience, consistency, earnestness, compassion, a love of irony and a sense of humour, – to say the least!

Then how much do I really want to be free? Attachments – sticky and invisible, often hidden in the form of thoughts and beliefs. Not even realising we’re suffering, abnormality is now normal and therefore easy to distract with endless resources at our disposal. All that being said, each with a load to bear and roles to play, so it seems.

You answer the questions so well. Any psychological suffering (often shown in the body) stems from worries of the past and anxiety for the future concerning the results of actions. Actions are limited and finite and never give the result we truly want, which is myself and I always have me. However, discretion in action is wise and useful when I start carefully analysing my own experience to see whether the results of my actions grant peace of mind, are in harmony with goals/values, and give maximum benefit to myself and others. Am I a happy person?

Instead of the feeling of floating or drifting, or that I might suddenly need to swim. Perhaps think of being your own Great Captain of a ‘Sturdy Ship’. Well prepared to weather inevitable storms. That means, this life of understanding What I Am – takes a whole lot of preparation and qualifying oneself, over and over again. “Fortune favors the brave!”. Meet the obstacles with undeniable spirit like you do, otherwise I miss out on the bliss. I don’t embark on a sailing voyage, unless I have the right skills and knowledge and I truly love sailing – meaning do only what’s appropriate to my relative nature.

Therefore the yogas are very important. The body-mind can give all kinds of trouble unless I understand them properly and do what’s necessary to take care of these instruments well, which implies understanding the laws of nature/Isvara, getting in harmony with that and having great faith and trust in it. Not worrying about death or trying to out-smart death.

The great big propaganda machine is called Ignorance and like Existence is beginningless, not subject to birth and death, however, unlike existence it can be negated, seen for what it truly is – not actually real. When I no longer see the serpent, and relax with the revelation of the rope, I see the truth in the false, fear goes away and freedom reigns. Let knowledge guide your life. Learn to see what I am not.

Expect the unexpected because nothing is as it seems. The anticipated may never come. Keep an open mind that’s curious and always fresh.

Below is the meditation on the ‘bridge’ by Swami TV we practised in class and an article on Wu Wei by Rory Mackay.

Enjoy,

Love,

Kate

Om

“Sthira sukham asanam.”

That is the yoga Sutra, an aphorism, very brief but complete. “Sthira sukham asanam.”

There are three words, and the word is always a bridge. Meaning, you hear the word, of course, the meaning flashes in the mind. Then, you reach beyond the word— to the thing.

For example, sthira means “still,” that is about the body. So, keep the body still without any movement except for the breath. That is sthira.

Look at the mechanism one more time. You hear the word sthira, get the meaning “still,” and then reach beyond the word to the body, and keep the body still.

If you do not reach beyond the word, which is possible. Then, the word and its meaning remain as an idea, a concept in the brain, which is not of much value.

Therefore, you should reach beyond the word, always. Sthira—keep the body still. Now, sthira is not a concept anymore; it is the thing.

Sukham is about the mind —relaxed. Sukham means “relaxed.” So you hear the word, word’s meaning, but then you allow the mind to relax.

Sthira sukham—that covers the body and the mind.

Then, what remains after the body and mind? I remain— asanam. Asanam means “to be,” the being— to be.

So, we start with the body, crossover, come to the mind, crossover, and arrive at yourself—asanam—“I be.”

You may begin with the heart—“I be” in the heart. There is nothing to do. It is just—“be.”

This is meditation. This is how you use the word as the bridge to arrive at yourself and then abide in yourself—asanam—“I be.”

In doing so, you have left the body behind.

“I be.” You have left the mind also behind. “I be.” Meaning you have set aside all emotions, and ideas, notions, etcetera. The entire content of the mind is set aside, and you arrive at yourself—“I be.”

This is meditation because the body is still,

the mind is relaxed and quiet, and— “I be.”

This is how the meditation, very simple,

transports you away from the humdrum of the daily life into your own pure being—“I be.” You may even say, “I am.”

That is meditation— “I am.”

Though, I said heart in the beginning. You may notice that the pure— “I am”— is boundless, spaceless, timeless, and it is not the person. It is impersonal. “I am.” Very simple.

Meditation is very simple.

“I be.”

Om

How are you?

James: Never better!

Inquirer: May I present you with some of my thoughts. It is often somewhat unclear and searching in nature, I apologize for this.

James:  Part of my job is clarifying doubts.

Inquirer: I have been doing a meditation every day for some time now. A meditation initiated by you, that starts with a body-scan and leads to the silence of the observer and witness of everything.  It works for me as a direction indicator and a reminder of where I need to be.

But I often struggle with the difference between the person doing the meditation and being a witness. As if there are 2 selves. As if I still have to find something. I can now also see that the person doing the mediation can be observed. Actually, one of those selves has already expired here.

James: The observable person doing the mediation is the reflected self. It is the one that has already expired.  We know this because the one observing never expires because it is unborn.  It is original deathless pure consciousness.  Sometimes we say there is a real self and an apparently real self.

Inquirer: Yet there is no resignation in this statement, there remains a search, unclear knowledge and unrest. Is this normal?

James:  Yes, the unrest is just a seeking habit.  Clear knowledge is “I am unborn existence shining as whole and complete ever-present bliss.”  Affirm this to yourself until it chases out the doubt.

Inquirer: I also sometimes wonder if I knew 100% who/what I would be am, would it make a difference to the person I think I am now? Would anything actually happen, if I knew that I was not the person but the conscious being?

James:  Yes.  When you have doubt-free knowledge, the knowledge purifies the mind of rajas and tamas and the apparent person, the reflected self, becomes very sattvic and radiates peace, joy and confidence.

Inquirer: Is there actually enlightenment for the person and enlightenment of the person?

James: Yes.

Inquirer:  What matters is that everything is perceived (as myself) in the end, right? In former mails you advised me to practice Karma Yoga. Now I can see the value of Karma Yoga and am already making progress in that area. Many thanks to you for your attention, and I really appreciate your response.

James: Karma yoga is taking a stand as awareness, seeing the world and your mind as the original Self sees it.  Keep everything the same…the meditation, etc…. When you are in meditation seeing the reflected Self, look around inwardly and see if there is a second self watching the reflected self. 

You are on the right path.  What you need to know will be made clear in the fullness of Isvara’s time.

Love,

James

Understanding Non-dual Reality

People say they want bliss without thoughts but that doesn’t work because the intellect will to obscure bliss with worry until it obtains doubt-free knowledge.    

Reality is non-dual existence shining as unborn whole and complete consciousness.  It is everything that is.  Not only is there no single word that can explain it, there are so many existent names and forms that it is impossible to categorize them all.  But categorize them we must if we are going to remove our ignorance.  Chapter 7 of the Bhagavad reduces everything that exists to two categories, Subject (consciousness) and Matter (known and unknown objects).  The Gita is the essence of the Upanishads, the source texts of Vedanta, a proven means of Self knowledge. 

Neither category can create by itself.  Consciousness can’t because it is uncreated and eternal.  It cannot modify matter, be modified by matter, or modify itself.  Matter can’t create because it is inert.  However, when these two factors come together creation happens.  Think Big Bang:  It is important to know this fact if you want the freedom that is non-different from unconditional love; the freedom that is perfect satisfaction with yourself, however you conceive it, and the satisfaction that comes from appreciating the radiant perfect beauty of the Creation.  If you ever wondered if you are a spiritual entity with a material body or a material entity with spiritual inclinations, Vedanta, the science of existence shining as consciousness, solves your problem. 

Vedanta accomplishes this for us in two ways.  It resolves this confusion and others generated by it by using using words in a logical way, which is known as informal meditation.  Logic is extremely subtle patterns of thought that generate the knowledge that remove ignorance.  The second way is called formal meditation, of which this wonderful image, Dancing Shiva, is one of the most elegant, eloquent examples.  It is particularly suitable for individuals who have difficulty following logical trains of thought but is an image of such provocative transcendent beauty and power that it appeals to most individuals with spiritual aspirations once it is unfolded.    

Shiva Nataraj

The Dance of Bliss (ananda tandava) reconciles science, devotional love and beauty in one complex but simple image.  Metaphors can remove ignorance of things we desire to know that cannot be perceived with the senses or accurately inferred by the mind.

The word Shiva means auspiciousness, the one uncreated ever-present and available thing that is good at all times, in all places and in any set of circumstances—our essence or Self—the balanced, poised confident four- armed figure momentarily suspended in time in the center of life’s passionate dancing radiant ring of fire  

The dancing Ring of Fire symbolizes the dynamic, created, changing, material aspect of our selves, the body, mind, intellect and the world.  The Self is always auspicious.  Matter is sometimes auspicious, sometimes inauspicious, with reference to the happiness we continually seek.  The poised, balanced self-contained figure symbolizes the ever-auspicious Self, whereas the ring of fire symbolizes our extroverted grasping, unreliable, insecure, material self.  That self is unreliable because it is never the same from one moment to the next.  The spiritual or conscious Self is always reliable because it is always-desirable, ever-reliable Bliss.  It is what is to be known if you want to be secure, adequate and permanently fulfilled. 

A. Meditation – Focus on the Self

Formal meditation starts with a visual symbol, which is internalized by the practice of meditation.  Before you begin, see to it that the image is hanging on a wall or sitting on a desk or dresser in a clean, quiet attractive space in your home or garden.  Sit in front of the image and mentally ask Shiva to give you a successful meditation.  Sitting is a symbol of non-doing.  Light a candle, ring a bell and burn a stick of incense to get the  attention of your innermost Self.  Keeping in mind that any result is acceptable (karma yoga).  Because this is a dualistic meditation, we need to use “he” for the Self and “she” for the not-self.  He and she do not imply a power imbalance.  Brother and sister is perhaps a better metaphor.    

Thinking, “I am Shiva,” focus exclusively on the pure, poised, balanced, self-contained image, ignoring all non-Shiva-related thoughts until the ring of fire disappears.  You should gradually extend your concentration over time.   Achieving the unbroken “I thought” is easy or difficult depending on the purity of your mind.  The longer you can comfortably concentrate, the deeper the inquiry.  Don’t be surprised if it brings up disturbing subconscious content, which you should gratefully accommodate during the mediation and probably investigate, once the meditation is over. 

Just as dances are carefully choreographed works of artistic beauty, the blissful Dance of Life is a rhythmic choreographed work of art underlying the whole non-dual creation, designed by the Artist in Chief, Isvara/Maya the non-dual creator.  It has many features or principles or truths (tattvas).  It is an extremely effective practice.

Here is a testimonial from a member of the ShiningWorld community.  “With great interest I listened to your satsang on Shiva, meditation and devotion.  It reminds me strongly of  ‘Nirvana Shatakam’ of Adi Shankaracharya. It struck me how powerful your explanation of the symbolism is.  Both the image and the poem are now much more alive. The key for me is the fact that ‘i am shiva.’  I never thought about it, but I realize that’s the meaning of shivoham.*  So the poem is about me, the Self.  My meditation deepens my devotion further and further.  Thank you for your beautiful explanation.  I hope to attend your satsang next Sunday.” 

*Oham or aham means “I am” and Shiva means I am always the Good that is beyond good and bad.” 

Incorporating this practice into your daily life, deepens dualistic bhakti to the point where it merges into non-dual devotional bhakti.  Seeking stops and the doer is cancelled.  The teaching tradition is Indebted to John Baxter for the timely introduction of a contemporary attractive sound bite, “story upgrade.”   

The aforementioned six Meditations on Myself by Shankaracharya follow.  You need to contemplate on the meaning of every statement that follows until it is undeniably true about yourself, however you define yourself.  Pause after each statement to confirm that it is really true.  Think twice if the ego eagerly claims that it is true because it is subject to the dreaded enlightenment disease: a premature claim of enlightenment.  Ask if you actually have anything to gain by making this claim. 

If you do, you are not the real you.  If you don’t, it means these statements are not claims.  They are simple facts, like, “It is hot today.”  Even if you turn on the air-conditioner, the weather doesn’t change, only your experience of it.  Knowing what you are is never a gain.  It is a loss of ignorance that appears to be a gain. 

Mano buddhy-ahamkara chittani naham
Na cha srotra jihwe na cha ghrana netre
Na cha vyoma bhumir na tejo na vayu
Chidananda rupah Shivoham Shivoham
(1)

I am not the mind, intellect, ego or memory.   I don’t hear, see, touch, taste or smell.  I am not space, air, fire, water or earth.  I am auspiciousness itself…pure unborn blissful consciousness.  I am Shiva. I am Shiva.

Na cha prana sangno na vai panchavayu
Nava sapthadhatur na va pancha koshaha
Na vakpani padau na cho pastha payu
Chidananda rupah Shivoham Shivoham
(2)

I am not universal energy or the five physiological functions.* 
I am not the body’s seven constituents* or the five sheaths.* 
I am not a speaker, listener, grasper, procreator, or excreter.  I am auspiciousness itself…pure unborn non-dual consciousness.  I am Shiva. I am Shiva.

* Five physiological functions: expulsion, respiration, digestion, circulation, excretion
* Seven constituents: skin, muscle, fat, flesh blood, bone and marrow.
* Five sheaths: the body, five physiological systems, emotions, intellect and bliss.

Namae dwesha ragau na mae lobha mohau
Mado naiva mae naiva matsarya bhavaha
Na dharmo na chardho na kamo na mokshaha
Chidananda rupah Shivoham Shivoham
(3)

I don’t have likes and dislikes.  I am not greedy, covetous, or infatuated.  I am free of pride, envy and jealousy.  I don’t seek security, pleasure or freedom and I dharma itself…pure unborn blissful consciousness.  I am Shiva. I am Shiva.

Na punyam na papam na saukhyam na dhukkam
Na mantro na teertham na veda na yagnaha
Aham bhojanam naiva bhojyam na bhoktha
Chidananda rupah Shivoham Shivoham
(4)

I am unaffected by sin or virtue so I don’t suffer pleasure, pain, joy or sorrow.  I am not attached to scripture, sacred rituals or holy places.  I don’t sacrifice.  I am not the enjoyer, the enjoyed or the enjoyment.  I am auspiciousness itself, pure unborn non-dual consciousness.  I am Shiva.  I am Shiva. 

Na mruthyu na sangka na mae jathi bedha
Pita naiva mae naiva mata na janma
Na bandhur na mitram gururnaiva sishya
Chidananda rupah Shivoham Shivoham
(5)

I don’t die nor am I affected by castes and creeds. I was never born so I have no father, mother, relatives, or friends. I have no teacher nor any disciples.  I am auspiciousness itself, pure unborn blissful consciousness.  I am Shiva I am Shiva. 

Aham nirvikalpo nirakara rupo
Vibhutwaccha sarvatra sarvendriyanam
Na cha sanga tham naiva mukthir na meya
Chidananda rupah Shivoham Shivoham
(6)

I am the formless changeless unmodified thought-free non-dual Self.  I am the substance of all that appears and the power that permits the senses to know.  I am unassociated with anything and unattached to everything.  I am auspiciousness itself, pure non-dual blissful consciousness. I am Shiva I am Shiva. 

All objects in existence are symbolized by the black background, the context of the image.  It is known as Ignorance because it creates a world of such transcendent beauty and ugliness that we are forced to deal with it.  Our likes, the beautiful bits, attract and our dislikes, the ugly bits, repel.  What we think and feel about the world is nothing but our likes and dislikes personalizing it because Maya hides our whole and complete impersonal Self.  It causes the auspicious Self to assume that whatever objects are attractive are capable of removing its unwarranted sense of incompleteness and inadequacy.  Maya is a sense of magic created by not knowing how a trick works.  Once you know however, the magic vanishes, but you still enjoy the show because you appreciate the trick’s trickiness.    

Next, let’s analyze the Features of Experience.

1.  Evolution

Your Shiva self is uncreated.  It does not evolve.  But your material self is created.  It evolves and devolves.   

2.  Maintenance, Sustainability

Anything that is created exists from a fraction of a second to multiple billions of years.  Getting what you want is fine, but it does not solve the inadequacy problem.  Objects…read experiences…have legs and go south, so you are forever attached to keeping them.  

3. Destruction Dissolution

Creation is Time, the interval between the birth and death of an object.  Objects are experiences, which are thoughts generated by words.  (See Mandukya and Karika for details.  Primordial Matter itself cannot be created or destroyed.  It is eternal.  Discrete material experiences momentarily enter a potential state, only to remanifest in another form.  Time is circular, not linear as we imagine.  If it is circular, it is unreal since the beginning depends upon the end and the end depends on the beginning.  It is impossible to determine which came first, the chicken or the egg for instance, leading to the valid conclusion that time is not real. 

Something is real (free) if it doesn’t depend on something else for its existence.  The poised secure unborn Shiva self is free. Therefore, nothing, except the removal of ignorance, can be done to attain it.  We think destruction is bad because it sweeps away the things we are attached to but it is good too, as it sets the stage for the appearance of uplifting satisfying experiences.  Enough background.  Back to the meditation.

B.  Focus on Objects

Relax your focus to include the burning ring of fire.  Imagine it spinning around and around like a firebrand until it becomes an unbroken circle.  Say to yourself, “The whirling circle of my experiences is caused by desire born of ignorance of my Shiva self.  It generates a nagging sense of incompleteness, inadequacy, and instability.  I see it.  It does not see me.  It does not affect me.” 

4. Denial, Concealment, and Projection Cause Bondage

If something exists, it is possible not to know it.  Not knowing is called denial.  Conscious denial is lying.  Although it is always present, the Self is seemingly (mithya) concealed because it is not perceptible to the physical senses, which is the primary means of knowledge of most individuals.  When you don’t know you are unborn, whole and complete, you incorrectly assume that the objects that present themselves to your senses can remove the feeling of incompleteness. 

Objects can’t compete or complete you for two reasons: because you are already complete and because they are not substantial, what the sometimes called “emptiness” by our Budhist friends.  No matter how much sympathy your sad story elicits, bondage doesn’t work for anybody because, compared what you actually are, it sucks.  Compared to less miserable stories it shines, however.  If you are in love with your miserable life keep repeating your miserable story.  If not, upgrade your story.

5.  Extroversion

Not knowing something generates the two most salient features of sentient beings: fear and desire.  When you are in the dark, you can’t move, so you desire light.  You cannot blame yourself for extroversion.  It comes with the wonder of human birth.  Seeing, knowing, being the light is freedom. (moksha)

6.  Grace, Release Freedom

At some point in evolution the rare animals that became aware of “the light,” were called human beings.  We could say that they became “aware of awareness,” not knowing that it is not possible to become what they always were.  In any case, way back in the day, Shiva, aided by the reflecting medium, the mind, graciously transmitted Vedanta to qualified individuals with inward-turned, curious, unselfish “scientific” minds who just want to know what life is and are not concerned with discrete bits of knowledge that indicate but obscure the total.    

Vedanta ends the search for discrete bits of knowledge and discrete experiences, revealing the fact that you are Bliss itself.  Your pre-orchestrated role in the dance of life is fun when you know this fact.  Ignorance is “released” with the gain of Self knowledge.  Without doubt you can say, “I am free.”

The Drum in Your Upper Right Hand

Sound is only meaningful in the context of silence.  A single beat is preceded and followed by silence.  If no silence follows, sound doesn’t exist.  Sound and silence are unreal because they are mutually dependent.  The beat represents the material changing parts of yourself and the silence represents the unchanging silent part.  Shiva itself, however, is not only the unchanging part; it is “meta-silence,” the Awareness of the sound that is not opposed to silence.    

Shiva as Ishwara

When Shiva stops “beating his drum,” the first beat of which is a Big Bang, creation begins and when He stops, the universe begins unbanging, which ends in the dissolution of Creation.  Scripture says, the self “sleeps” for billions of years only to wake up later for additional billions (even quadrillions) based on its previous momentum, whereupon it unbangs again in an endless cycle of monotonous Bliss.   The word monotony only means boring to a bored mind.  It is a statement of wholeness, oneness.  Not to worry, ladies, “He” can’t do it without the “She,” the Ring of Fire.  He needs you.  Love is Spirit and Matter endlessly locked in conjugal bliss.

7.  Protection – Reassurance – Dharma

The right hand with raised palm facing outward and an OM symbol is a gesture of protection to those souls caught in the tortuous whirligig of life.  Shiva says, “Because of my eternal  presence, you can relax.  “Take it easy; there is nothing to fear.  I have your back.”  It implies knowledge of karma yoga.

7.  Destruction – Regeneration

Worry stands to reason since everything dear to people who think they are subject to time are subject to Shiva’s next playful trick.  The left hand holding the flame, symbolizes destruction which is unreal (mithya) because energy/matter cannot be created or destroyed.  It is eternal.  Scientific “discoveries” of hidden sources of energy are simply “uncoveries” brought about the application of reason—inference and other logical principles. 

Vedanta, a “subjective” science uncovers what is always present and partially-known by application of the scientific method to the “inner” world, not only to the “outer” world, which is the obsession of material science.  That we can’t fully appreciate the significance of the outer world without an investigation of the inner world is slowing dawning on the community of material scientists.   

8.  Grace – Salvation, Liberation (moksha)

The left hand extends across the chest, its fingers pointing graciously to the tip of the uplifted left leg, which is raised in a dancing posture.  The leg symbolizes Vedanta, a uplifting mirror of words in which your true Self is revealed, granting knowledge of your completeness, which saves you from change by removing the energy (tamoguna) that conceals your fullness.

It is positioned just below the OM because knowledge of OM (everything that is) is required for freedom.  In similar images, Vishnu sleeping on the Cosmic Serpent for instance, the downward hand is depicted with a noose, enabling the Self to pluck ripe souls from the ocean of samsara, the mistaken belief in the cycle of births and deaths.  In the image above, his right partially-submerged hand symbolizes grace.  Notice that Shiva’s hand is not grasping.  It is simply offering an opportunity.  The opportunity, however, implies action.  In Vishnu’s case the offhand and seemingly subconscious gesture represents opportunity, which also implies action.  Freedom that doesn’t require action is not free.  At every stage of evolution, Vedanta requires action.  Knowledge without the transformation of the personality brought about by yoga is just more suffering. 

9.  Concealment – Denial – Ignorance

Transformation is as inspiring as it is emotionally challenging.  Everything in the mind is actually a symbol.  Persistence pays off because at some point the symbol is going to deliver what it purports to symbolize—freedom and non-dual love.  But persevere, you must. 

This feature of consciousness is more complex and hard to grasp.  In conjunction with Maya (Macrocosmic Ignorance) Isvara has three energies at Its disposal as does Jiva, a “mini-Isvara.”  Shiva Isvara generates the waking dream and deep sleep states, which conceal, project, and reveal.  (See the Yoga of Three Energies).  Jiva Shiva manages the concealing, projecting and revealing thoughts in its reflected (pratibimba) awareness in an attempt to keep the mind under its control.

This Shiva is an image of a graceful well-balanced mature Self actualized person.  The right foot is firmly placed on the back of the wiggling infantile dwarfish ego so that devotional love can flow unrestricted toward the selfless Self.  To vow to actualize your full spiritual potential is the “right” thing to do for a committed inquirer. 

10.  Ecstasy

The ecstatic and vibrant nature of the dance, with the Lord whirling round on the one right leg is indicated by the matted hair flying on both sides of this head.  When creation bangs, Shiva arises from His rapture sending flowing undulating waves of bliss, sustaining manifold phenomena reflecting the light of Awareness.  Among other things snakes represent the rhymical undulating patterns of life.  As He whirls with fire in hand, He destroys all names and forms, lies down and sleeps His apparently endless night.   Jiva too whirls around and around in its a whirlpool of memories and desires for most of the day, lies down and sleeps fretfully for a few hours, reawakens and starts its hectic dance once more. 

You are stuck with the Mind.  If it is dis-eased (subject to unwanted emotions) you can manage its symptoms, which never ends, or you can eliminate the cause of the disease, which is to say worry (samsara).  Worry is a useless emotion because it does not change outcomes.   At a bare minimum, managing it presupposes a rudimentary disinterest in objects.  Eliminating the cause requires serious commitment.

A. Big Picture Analysis.

The mind is an object. It can be your friend or your enemy. It if you know yourself as the unborn Self, the mind will become an object of amusement.   

Discipline i.e. Meditation (nididhyasana)
Topic: Recycling

To get the mind on your side, two types of meditation are recommended. (1) Removing thoughts (Yoga) and (2) Using thoughts (Vedanta).  Mind is a wheel that recycles.  It won’t provide friendly useful thoughts unless you train it. It is a dog that will settle down and sleep at your feet assuming you know you are the ever-full unborn Self. It will even fetch the paper in the morning if you commit to training it. 

How to Train the Mind

Vedanta is a commitment to shifting your identity from the mind to the Self. It is accomplished by visualization, autosuggestion, sankalpa, and scriptural logic that cultivates an appreciation of the difference between what is apparently real and what is real, satya-mithya vasana. This distinction should become hard and fast subconscious knowledge (samskara) you can count on.  It is the ultimate security.

Example: Mandukya Upanishad convinces us (1) that we have the wrong identity and (2) shows us by inference the right identity.  Inference is a valid means for removing ignorance of the whole and complete unborn Self.

Practice

You need to:

(1) turn the mind inward
(2) observe it as the subject, the Only Knower
(3) and then look for divisions to see if there is a second knower.

Yoga is Turning the Mind Inward

1. Withdraw from the senses.  Scan the body, synchronize attention with the breath.

2. Retrieve attention from the thought flow.

3. Lock attention onto the silence.  Silence is an indicator that reveals the unborn Self, which
is a great hidden treasure—the Nidhi Point.

Vedanta is Identifying the Hidden Knower

4. Identify the unobserved observer.

5. Look for divisions. Is there something else observing you?

6. If so, what is observing the observer? 

7. If not, accept the unborn changeless observer as yourself.

8.  Affirm this fact with confidence, “I AM the Nidi Point.”

Meaning of Nidhi: Treasure, Fund, Wealth, Center, Nest, Receptacle, Hidden, Concealed, Guardian

A simple meditation

Imagine yourself minus everything. As if falling asleep, allow yourself to sink away from anything that ever appeared until this imagination itself disappears. Feel what it is like just to be you before any movement of thought or emotion. 
    
Notice two things:

1.  That while this imagination points at you, it is not actually you. Whatever you are is present, fully, prior to the exercise. 

2.  That whatever quality or feeling you associate with the experience of being you, is added by you. You turn your attention to yourself, feel certain qualities, and report them as being “what you are like.” 

With that in mind, now imagine yourself plus everything. Everything includes the world, but for now, notice everything you take to be part of you: your body, your memories, your hunger level, your concerns, your desires, how your body feels, how you slept last night, your to-do list, how you feel about yourself, etc. Obviously, this is now a more complex picture once attention turns outwards, but the two factors that remain are you and experience.

When pressed to describe yourself minus everything, even though you cannot put your finger on it, somehow you are able to find words. It is as if what is not actually locate-able nonetheless appears as a fragrance. It is not nothing, it is you, but what you actually are cannot be pinned down. 

Notice what changes when your attention turns outward to all the parts of you:

1.  Unlike the imagination of yourself minus everything, the experience of you recedes into the background – even seeming to disappear – and an infinite field of objects and discrete experiences fills the gap. You are not gone, but you are easily and even likely “forgotten.” 

2.  This imagination inclusive of everything consists of infinite factors, all of which always change, and over which you have precious little influence.

Superficially, the main difference between these viewpoints seems to be the direction of attention, inwards or outwards (so to speak), and often that is as far as it is taken. Mediation practice an hour a day, church on Sunday, and bedtime prayers are just a few examples of how we turn inwards to “relocate” ourselves. These activities serve as oases of peace and “self care” within our “real” lives, and they are effective, but why do we need them? Why are these oases of introspection so important to us? After all, we have things to do!

We all know the answer to this, even if we may not have words for it. We know the answer because we are the answer. Meaning, we are the one that takes this time out to pay homage and attention to “what is.” We still may not know what that is, but by our actions – which are devoted to making ourselves  happy – we acknowledge ourself as the beloved. We acknowledge the existence of a part of ourselves that is both most intimate and most unacknowledged, your “you.”

Your “you” is not you, since no amount of words or experiences can be you. If your “you” was you, you would be a word (thought). Yet, your “you” is the irremovable locus of every single moment of every single experience you have ever had, as well as of your own content-less “experience” such as in sleep or in the moment(s) before you first appeared to yourself as a baby or small child. 

But even though your “you” is not actually you, it is non-different from you in the sense that it is the tangible appearance of you. Just as a reflection in a mirror is how your face appears to you, your “you” is how you appear. This simple, most ordinary “you” is all that matters. It is all you care about. It is why we retreat to the oases of conscious devotion that we do. Without you, even “nothingness” is impossible. 

There’s not a single thing spiritual about this inquiry. If there is a spiritual life, it is finding and identifying with what is most beloved and bringing it into the foreground. This does not mean adding or sprucing up a spiritual identity, but simply that rather than my “me” landing on any single idea or imagined part of myself, it lands on that unknowable self-evident beloved. In that way, what could otherwise be a flight of spiritual fantasy or quest for experience, becomes an entirely practical, grounded, unsupported life of doing what is to be done, whatever that may be. Only now, as Ramji says often, doing it happily rather than for happiness. 

Take some time to pay attention to your “you.” You’re never not there after all, so you may as well take notice. Don’t worry about being selfish, or doing it wrong, or being too serious, or not being serious enough. At all costs, reject what Sundari calls the voices of diminishment in all possible forms. Finding “you” is not the be all end all, but because you never change, your you is like a giant parachute that allows you to float effortlessly rather than plummet uncontrollably through life. In that gentle drifting is where the qualities associated with you minus everything never need depart from the activity of you plus everything. 

As Consciousness, I observe person (your name here) standing nearby in front of Me, looking at the world, gazing away from Me. I, Consciousness, observe it closely.

As Consciousness, I note the physical appearance of its body, when it was a child, was a youth. I note it is now an adult and note how its body is automatically changing, ageing, decaying, degenerating, undergoing the six modifications of gestation, birth, growth, maturity, decay and future death. I note its characteristics like height, weight, shape, its posture, typical ways of standing, walking, talking, interacting, doing actions. I note its state of physical health and illnesses.

As Consciousness, I note its mind. I observe its intellect with its thoughts, ideas, beliefs, attitudes, values, its memories, its ignorance. I note its heart with emotions, desires, likes, dislikes, moods, hopes, feelings, elation at successes, disappointments with failures.

I, Consciousness, note that person (your name here) has forgotten Me, has identified itself with its body and mind, and has taken on the qualities of the body-mind as its own qualities. It has a sense of lack, limitation, mortality. I note its feeling of being incomplete, inadequate, lacking in resources, lacking in relationships. It has a feeling of being mortal and a fear of death, non-existence.

I, Consciousness, note it is temporary, changing, limited, finite, lacking, bound by space and time, a mere speck in the universe. It is made from the same material as the universe. From total causal matter, comes its individual causal body. From total subtle matter, energy, arises its individual subtle body. From total dense, tangible matter, stardust, is formed its individual physical body.

I, Consciousness, note the mind-body is an effect, bound and dependent for its existence. It is limited, incomplete, unfulfilling, inert matter, inherently lifeless, intrinsically dead. I note it is conditioned by gunas, the three forces in nature, affected by its past karma, by its personal tendencies, by space, by time. It is trapped in duality.

I, Consciousness, note its desire for a better understanding of itself, of its life and experiences, of finding meaning in its life and a desire to understand the world around it.

I, Consciousness, note its desire for spiritual growth, for an inner maturity beyond its personality, for the ability to handle the duality of life, both pleasant and unpleasant. I note its intense desire for freedom from suffering.  

I, Consciousness, appreciate and love this person (your name here) as it is, here and now.

I, Consciousness, pervade and enliven this inert mind-body person. I lend life to it, vivify it, making it look alive, look sentient, look functioning, even doing action as thought, word and deed. But that only seems so, appears so, looks so. The mind-body remains inert, lifeless, dead, in itself, as such.

I, Consciousness, am aware of the difference between this person (your name here) and Me. I am aware this mind-body person is not Me. It is an object I have, an object in My Presence, appearing from Me, appearing different from Me, conditioned, inert.  

I, Consciousness note that person (your name here) can be negated intellectually, negated cognitively. In effect, it is only seemingly existent, seems to be present. In reality, that observed person as such is as good as non-existent since it only seems to be present.

Looking at Myself, I, Consciousness, have features which are the exact opposite, diametrically different from the qualities of this person (your name here).

I, Consciousness, feel-recognise Myself, appreciate My nature of pure Presence of Be-ing, unconditioned Awareness, complete Fulfilment. This is My inherent nature, what I am, here and now. As Consciousness, I am pure, unassociated with matter, unconditioned. I am free from the gunas, beyond karma and its effects, beyond duality. I am formless, shapeless, therefore without a boundary, big, huge, limitless, infinite.

I am the Source, Matrix, Substrate from which the person, space and time, indeed, the world, the whole universe appears. I am beyond space and time, free from, distinct from, other than space and time. All beings, space, time, the universe, are objects in My Presence, appearing from Me, appearing different from Me, conditioned, inert.

I, Consciousness, am the source of permanent Peace, total Security and Safety, absolute Happiness, complete Fulfilment, here and now, whatever the circumstances.

I, Consciousness, am the unwitnessed Witness, the unknown Knower, the unobserved Observer, the unrecognised Recogniser, the unwatched Watcher, the unseen Seer.

I, Consciousness, am immortal; in reality, I am THE Immortal. I am eternal, THE Eternal. I am changeless, THE Changeless. I am limitless, THE Limitless. I am infinite, THE Infinite. I am complete, fulfilled, THE Complete-Fulfilled, here and now.

I am pure Consciousness, OM, the real meaning of ‘I’.

Consciousness, I.

OM. Peace. Peace. Peace.

I was thinking, i enjoyed ur presence and talk a lot, but also thought it was a bit much of dialog.  I was thinking, maybe you would think experimenting woth retreats maybe with more meditation or some hiking or mantra meditation. That sounds so good to me.  Anyways, many thanks, and so enjoyed the documentary as well on the yt.

Peace shanti 

Hi Terry,

I’m glad you enjoyed the seminar.   Most people who come aren’t very interested in the chit chat, my opinions about useless gurus like Adi Da and politics.  They often scold me to get me to stick to the scripture so it’s nice to know that somebody appreciates those topics. 🙂 Most everyone comes for the pure Vedanta teaching, which may seem a bit wordy and intellectual but actually isn’t.  It’s just the common sense logic of existence.  Very useful.  Many people don’t understand Vedanta because they would rather have some kind of mystical experience or something “spiritual” to do like a vision quest.  It’s understandable.  People like entertainment.  They say I’m entertaining and perhaps I am but seriously I’m the guy who unfolds the meaning of Vedic identity mantras, which will free you from spiritual and worldly activities.  I definitely teach meditation but you must be unfamiliar with Vedantic meditation.  It’s the next step after your mind gets quiet from mantra chanting and silent meditation.  As for hiking, I live in the mountains in Spain and get plenty of exercise.  Plus everyone already knows how to walk so it would be a waste of time to see how I walk.   How I think, however, is pretty interesting I’m told and it is why most people come.  People are attracted to Vedanta once they realize that experiences generated by spiritual activities don’t last.  Maybe the higher power caused you to write for a different reason.  I suggest you attend the upcoming seminar in Amsterdam and listen with an open mind.  I think you will be pleasantly surprised. Here is the link: https://shiningworld.com/events/the-netherlands-amstelveen-13th-15th-may-2022/

Love,

James

Sorry, I was busy with that mithya shit, because my brother is married to a Russian and that war is a big topic everywhere.

You said one sentence that really went in:  “The I am should be enough for you”.  I stick to that like hell. My new mantra now.  Maybe it really as simple as that. Just stay in the I am.

Ramji:  Yes, it is as simple as that.  If people knew how simple it was, the world would be a very lovely place.  But even though just being always makes us want to live another day even when life is painful, people seem to be attached to their suffering and focus on the future, imagining that relief will come someday.   But relief that comes, goes.  Perhaps suffering gives them an identity that brings some kind of support. 

I need some kind of sadhana again. Without sadhana, my mind is not controlled.

You said to just look at what is present every minute, in your mind.  It totally pulled me back to that being here, now, that instant which is me, I, consciousness.

Ramji:  Good.  But you are not an instant.  You are the eternal knower of all instants. People are in such a hurry to fix the world when their own minds need fixing.  

I started also with meditation again. There is so much shit to clean up in my mind which is far away from sattvic or pure. But your satsang, since that interaction with you, I am so quiet and peaceful.  Feels like I just don’t care anymore. Nothing ever can happen to me.

Ramji:  Good for you, Hendrick!  It means that you are assimilating the knowledge of who you are.  Keep up the meditation, karma yoga, etc. 

And, yes, I will not bring that mithya shit to your satsang again. I just was very unaware and, honestly, wanted to hear what you think about Putin, the bomb, and all that. And you reaction made me very happy and made me laugh out loud, loved it!  Hope to see you again in Berlin soon, or lets go to heaven together! 😉

Ramji:  It’s OK. I got the feeling that you were just a bit tamasic.  What pisses me off is the people who write because they want to argue with me.   Some want to make sure I have the “right” view, meaning how they see things.  I’m kind of glad the war has taken the virus/vaccine issue more or less off the internet.  Of course the die-hards will keep pontificating.  War, particularly this kind of war, is not good news, although the upside will become clear eventually, but at least it’s new news.  It’s fine to have well-reasoned opinions but it’s not fine to identify one’s self with one’s opinions and create duality thereby.  Now the rebels have a better cause to rally behind.  The vaccine issue was a complete non-starter.  Billions of doses have been delivered and the human race continues to thrive.  So you are forgiven. 🙂

Much love,

Ramji 

GS: When I close my eyes, I see light, is it purusha seeing sattva?

Sundari: The light you (Purusha) are seeing is the reflected self in the reflected medium of sattva guna, which is the true nature of the mind unmodified by rajas and tamas.  When rajas and tamas are in balance with sattva, we can experience very high states and siddhis, like deep epiphanies, seeing lights, etc. All three gunas make up the reflected medium and are objects known to, you, the Self. The mind in sattva is experiencing its true nature as bliss, which is why these high spiritual states are much after in the spiritual world. But sattvic bliss does not last. The true bliss of the Self does not depend on sattva guna. You are always only ever experiencing the Self regardless of what guna the mind is in because the Self is not a state.  It is the knower of all states, as it is the knower of the mind itself. Therefore, it does not really matter what state the mind is in, though of course, as jivas we aim for sattva because we want to experience peace of mind. 

Purusha, the Self, is the light that makes light possible.  As the jiva, our vision cannot help but be organized around light, we cannot see anything without it. The same brain responses that enable us to see a tree or a person as a tree or a person, instead of a ghostly swarm of buzzing atoms, also enable us to experience the Self every time we open our eyes. We just have to know what we are looking at unless we have Self-knowledge. We are always seeing Purusha because this is a nondual reality. The Self is a seer that never began or ceases, the all-seeing eye or “I” that sees only itself because there are no objects for it to see.  It is self-effulgent as there is nothing but itself.  It would be more appropriate to say that the Self, seeing only itself, is that which knows the seer with reference to the seen, only when Maya is operating.  The Self-aware Self appears as a seer; but it never actually is a seer, unless seeing refers to its own Self. 

Whereas, when ignorance is operating the jiva thinks that the seer is different from the seen, the subject and object are different.  This is where yoga and Vedanta part company because yoga aims to have special experiences to prove that you are ‘enlightened’. But Vedanta says that no experience can give you what you already have. You already are enlightened because you are the Self; you just don’t know what that means if Maya (ignorance) deludes the mind. Seeing a light internally is no different than seeing any object. If discrimination between satya (that which is always present and unchanging) and mithya (that which is not always present and always changing) is operating, then all you need to do is identify with satya, NOT sattva. Anything in mithya is known to be not-self and not a big deal. So, you saw a light, so what? Did that experience remove ignorance of your true nature and produce unbroken Self-knowledge? No, it did not.

Swami Muktananda of Siddhi Yoga infamy started the bogus idea that inquirers had to seek the ‘blue pearl’ of enlightenment, a blue flame or light which appeared in meditation. He taught that unless you saw this light you were not enlightened, which is total ignorance. No experience, however spiritual it may be or whatever powers it seems to give you (siddhis), can take the place of Self-knowledge. There is no greater siddhi or power than Self-Knowledge because, unlike an experience, it does not end. While seeing a light in meditation or any other spiritual experience points to Awareness so does everything. All objects, whether material or subtle like a spiritual experience come from the Self but are not the Self.  Just as your reflection in the mirror is you and you can see it thanks to the light of Consciousness shining on the mind, but the reflection is not the same as you.

Furthermore, spiritual experiences are only useful if their true meaning is assimilated in a qualified mind. There is nothing wrong with spiritual experiences, don’t get me wrong. But they are temporary. They are like a slow-release time capsule designed to impart knowledge. And that knowledge is that you are the knower of the experience, that which makes all experience possible, the Self/Awareness. You are always present, with or without special light effects appearing in the mind.

So, in short, don’t chase the light because you are the light!

GS: Recently I interacted with Neuroscientist who does research on meditation. He observed that in case of effortless meditation, this nondual awareness happened in one neural circuit. This had happened for me long ago without knowing what it is. Now I don’t change any experience, as you keep on saying the self is knowledge only.

Sundari: Meditation only really qualifies as meditation if it is effortless.  Trying hard to meditate really cancels itself out. There have been many studies on the benefits of meditation and though this research is considered ‘soft science’, I think it is pretty clear that meditation is very beneficial for the mind.  But Vedanta differs greatly from yoga, which is a generic term that covers all attempts to gain freedom through action, such as meditation or siddhis. No action taken by a limited entity such as the jiva can produce a limitless result, moksa. While yoga is a necessary aid to self-inquiry in purifying the mind for it, it does not take the place of self-inquiry.

Self-inquiry is also an action, but it differs from yoga in that the fruit of inquiry is Self-knowledge, which is limitless. Self-inquiry is not about creating change in one’s experience, though it usually does produce that because the jiva changes how it relates to objects. It no longer chases objects for happiness because it knows the joy is in itself, not the objects. Self-knowledge cancels the doer whereas all other paths leave the main problem, the doer, intact.  In the case of spiritual types who believe they are special or enlightened when they have heightened ‘spiritual’ experiences, we say that doer has enlightenment sickness. The ego has co-opted the knowledge and the gift of knowledge the spiritual experience contained was not assimilated.

Some clever types argue that Self-knowledge is useless because it does not change experience, and that the only reason people seek enlightenment is that they suffer, so they want to change their experience.  But what they miss is the change that experience offers is temporary unless Self-knowledge obtains. When the mind is pure and Self-knowledge firm, it enjoys a nearly constant state of bliss that you can never obtain through the pursuit of objects (all experience) in samsara. 

As I said above, any practice that enhances sattva, which is the springboard for Self-knowledge to obtain, is encouraged as an essential part of self-inquiry, so meditation is good. But meditation is not a valid means of knowledge. Unless one has realized that one is not the meditator but the one who knows the meditator, meditation can keep one stuck for years trying to have an experience of the Self.  Which many meditators do have, but the problem is: the identification with the experiencer/meditator is still there.  And when the meditation ends, so does the bliss. The ‘lights’ go out!

In this way, the experience of Self-realization does not necessarily lead to freedom, moksha.  Therefore, so many meditators become frustrated, trying to get the experience of limitlessness in meditation back.  Even if they succeed, they will most likely “lose” the Self-realization once again because the knowledge that they are that which makes all experience possible, i.e., the Self, escapes them. Meditation is no different from any other activity done to achieve a specific result—unless it is practiced with karma yoga.

Meditation is just another object appearing in you, allowing the reflection of the Self to appear in a sattvic mind.  However, seeing as no experience can take place without you, Consciousness, and because as Consciousness you are actionless, no special experience is necessary to experience the Self. You are always only ever experiencing the Self, whether you are meditating or not. Although we can have an experience of the reflection of the Self in a pure, sattvic mind in meditation, this is not enough to set us free of the doer.  For this, we need to expose the mind to self-inquiry and allow Self-knowledge to remove our ignorance (avidya).

Self-inquiry is the application of Self-knowledge, which states that Consciousness is our true nature. Both knowledge and ignorance are objects appearing in you, Consciousness. Keeping this knowledge in mind and continually contemplating on it is self-inquiry, which is why self-inquiry is different from meditation.  The knowledge is maintained by an act of will. Whereas in meditation the knowledge appears only during a particular experience, which ends. Self-inquiry is superior to meditation because the doer does not need to maintain a particular state and wait for the knowledge.  He or she has the knowledge already and applies it continually.  Most meditators do not know the value of knowledge whereas inquirers do.  That is why the meditators are meditating.  Knowledge may arise in meditation or it may not.  If it does, we say meditation is a ‘leading error.’  But even if meditation does lead to knowledge of the “unbroken I thought” (akandakara vritti), the knowledge does not always stick.

Om and prem

Sundari

To keep this short and to the point, the Avadhuta Gita is beautiful and REALLY to the point lol…

But here’s my question for you based on all of your searching and studying and experience…

Is the FINAL thing in all of this the KNOWLEDGE of non-duality in the mind, OR, “abiding” as Awareness/Consciousness which is BEYOND the mind and everything, including knowledge?

… these are two totally different things, and need to be dealt with! I can see both as being “the way”, but struggle with the final answer here. If I abide as Awareness, there is no knowledge because I’m simply being That, and only That; as Awareness, there’s no knowledge about anything, not even Vedanata and non-duality. 

… but if I have the Knowledge in the mind, it just seems like a different thing entirely. 

Hope you understand what I’m getting at here and have some insight…

Thx!

Rory: Hi Luke, Thanks for your email. Glad you liked the website and are enjoying the Avadhuta Gita. The verses may be short but they pack a fair punch, huh?

Regarding your question of knowledge of awareness versus ‘abiding as awareness’, I think it’s important to first examine what the term ‘abiding as awareness’ means and implies. 

‘Abiding’ is a verb, and abiding AS something implies action. In this context, ‘abiding as the Self’ means meditating upon our nature as awareness. This is actually the third and final stage of Vedantic practice, called nididhyasana. First, we hear the knowledge as unfolded by a qualified teacher. We then proceed to reflect upon that knowledge until it fully makes sense, enabling us to re-evaluate our existing beliefs and assumptions in the light of that knowledge. The third stage is to convert that knowledge to conviction, and this is where nididhyasana comes into play—which is to say, continued and sustained contemplation upon our nature as pure awareness/consciousness/existence.

It makes sense that it will take some time and effort to reorient our identification from the mind/body/ego to awareness because we have, after all, spent lifetimes identifying as this pseudo-self. The mind comprises layers upon layers of encrusted ignorance, and that rarely disappears overnight. A conservative instrument if ever there was, the mind tends to stick to its default settings, running the same pre-installed programming and regurgitating the same old ignorance ad nauseum. So many people attend Vedanta seminars, immersing themselves in Self-knowledge for hours, days or weeks, becoming fired up with passion and conviction, only to find that upon returning to their regular lives, like a rubber-band they instantly snap back to the same old patterns, habits and tendencies, once again identifying as a small, limited, lacking little ego.

That’s why nididhyasana is so important. In order for the knowledge to ‘stick’, we have to ‘practice’ that knowledge over and over again. That’s where abiding as awareness comes in, or taking a stand in awareness AS awareness. Self-knowledge will only translate to liberation if it has been fully assimilated and integrated into the heart of the psyche. Getting back to your question, it’s definitely not an either or choice between simple ‘knowledge of awareness’ and ‘abiding as awareness’. Both are needed. The mind has to be kept on track or it’ll keep defaulting to its baseline of ignorance. It must be re-educated and that necessitates truly CLAIMING our identity as the ever-free, limitless awareness that is the Self.

Eventually there comes a point when our sense of identity pivots from the ego to the Self; from the instruments of mind, body and senses to the ever-present, formless awareness in which they appear. At that point, Self-knowledge is no longer an abstract concept, but a Living Truth. It becomes the baseline from which we experience Self and reality. As long as the body remains, the experience of duality remains, for this world is structured by the senses, but we no longer see anything as separate from ourselves. There is only awareness and its passing content. 

At that point, when the knowledge is rock solid, there’s no need to ‘abide as awareness’ so to speak because your entire psyche is reoriented to the incontrivertable knowledge that you ARE awareness. And this knowledge, properly assimilated, leads to liberation because you then know that nothing in this phenomenal world of appearance can affect you, bind you or limit you in any way. You develop samatvam, which means evenness of mind in all circumstances. Binding desires either melt away or become non-binding, and you taste the incredible sweetness and unshakable contentment of knowing that you are always free, always whole and lacking in nothing.

At that point, there’s no real need to continuously affirm your identity as awareness any more than there’s any need to continuously affirm to yourself your worldly name or address. It’s no longer knowledge to you, but fact. Self-knowledge becomes conviction and its byproduct is liberation! 

That’s the true goal of Vedanta. Incidentally, this liberation is not something that is gained or added to you. Anything that can be gained can be taken away. It’s rather the revelation that, but for thoughts of ignorance in the mind, you were never bound. 

You are quite correct that as awareness there is no knowledge as such, and no differentiation between ‘this’ and ‘that’, because of the simple fact that everything is awareness. There’s no beginning and no end, no up or down; no goal and no attainment. From this Absolute standpoint, there isn’t even a world, in the same way that from the perspective of the waker there is no dream-world; only names and forms appearing in all-pervading, ever unaffected consciousness.

The knowledge, then, isn’t for the Self. Awareness doesn’t need enlightenment because, as the Light, it was never not enlightened. Liberation pertains only to the mind of the jiva living in the relative world. It’s the removal of ignorance and the apprehension of Reality as it truly is rather than how it appears to the mind and senses. Knowledge is therefore for the mind, to free the mind. The mind, being as it is, requires a great deal of ‘practice’ and ‘abiding’ until this Knowledge is fully integrated and assimilated.

I hope that answers your query.