Poems by James Swartz
(1) Guru’s Lament
(2) Our love a rocket ship
(3) The Endless Sky
James Reciting his poem Guru's Lament
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These are poems of my friend Billy Childish
a paper lampshade
the beuty of the wasp
in its nest of buti
crawling
on
the gate post
munching wood
making paste
to build its nest of butie
with
his jasper face
and sting of buti
he is just a wasp
in his nest of beuti
the serpent is biting its own tail
im not older nor more experienced
than i once was
im younger and have learned nothing
the serpent is biting its own tail
looking into the face of an ant
is
stairing up into
the open face of god
the inner is the outer
the serpent is biting its own tail
spied from the bows of a woodland oak
a deer man stalking with antlered head
hes cock and balls painted ochre red
none usually stray this deep into his forests dream
listen you can here his owl beak cry
he swivvels his head
and a brook sounds near by
walking on humen legs
he enters gods shed
he brings healing moss in his cats mouth
to nibble like bread
its not so much that i know who he is
but i know who i am not
his outstretched toes hold herbs like gold
that he drops into a boiling pot
and his antlers spout like trees
the butiful hatchlings see god
being a new hatch’t crow
nested in the arms of tree tops
and seeing the big yellow sun rolling up the sky
for the 1st and 1000th time
hark
to the great chirping
a new born multitude
a storm of praise as we see
and know
god
the mud-flappers lament
being a mud flapper
jerking in the mud
head down knowing only fucking
and guts
and pain
so we know everything
and become cyleocamphs
then man then god again
the desolving budha
an animated corps
in a chernnal ground
the flesh flopping from the yellow bones
an eyeballs rolls out - plop!
and
then a smile thru the magots
as im
suck’t up thru a thigh bone trumpit
and into the very hart of the budha
who must desolve
becose
ive
named him
the damp wet world is both real and unreal
why shouldnt i become
robert walser
or kurt schwitters
who says that my hart
isnt next to theirs
or indeed
my ears and eyes
or christs
or van goghs for that matter
in a sence
its a fellows duty
to love his heros
and become them
just to feel how ordinary genius truly is
just as a child plays at war
or knows that animels talk
or
that the damp wet world is both real
and unreal
it will always
just be now
it will always
just be now
skool
peeing
dieing
and after
it will always
just be now
appology
the artist sometimes known
as billy chydish
would like to hereby appologise
for nurturing cunts smart-arsed eloquence
and contradiction
for
encouraging spurious tossers
artist
and poets
and
for
brandishing his cock and balls
like a spring daffodil
get this rite:
for
percived indiscreations
passed and futcher
your rong and
im inocesnt
so
look on me wth love
as if your feeding the garden birds
hold me
with a
lack of malice
and caliousnes
if your seeing ghosts and daemons
if your seeing ghosts and daemons
when you look at me
own them
and
sighting christ the devil and buddha
for
the
pain been done
for
poems been rit
is missing the point
and bitter poets
my favorite thing
about humans
is their pent up venom
nestling benieth the sugary crust
of reasonablness
sat behind the grining teeth of politness
hidden benieth the toung
un-owned
and
attributed to others:
the world
of devils
and bitter poets
rush to the woods and kiss the acorns
they were defiantly
from another country
you could tell by their uniforms
and fancy footwerk
we’d
never seen
camoflauge so exqisit before
it made you want to rush
to the woods kiss the acorns
everything more
my hair less
my teeth less
i wear a butiful hat
my green eyes smiling butifully
in my hart my beautiful son
in my hart my butiful daughter
i eat a beutiful pea
sat oppersit my beutiful wife
the snow outside is beutiful
a beutifull bird sits
in the butifull rown tree
eating yellow berry from between rust coloured leaves
i paint with butiful colours
i rite with butifull ink
my hair less
my teeth less
everything more
if only life could be
grasped in your fist
nailed like a photograph
to kiss and taste a breast for all eternity
to be in love with lumps
of decaying flesh
and
lips and eyebrows
another humans shit-hole
and
shoes and houses
to belive salvation
can be found in a ticking shirt
or a pair of nailed boots
or a bank account
or another humans tits
and arse-hole
all the fragmented parts of god
riding the tube train
with all the fragmented
parts of god
kissing earth
flying thru the air
dangling from the limbs of trees
like carrion in the beaks of crows
how are we fragmented?
by looking for union
so
we throw up of stuffing god in our mouths
like rags
like rotten meat
and cawing
this is us
this is us
this is us
by looking we are not seeing
there is only one thing
which is everything
of course there was no big bang
as if time could start like a fucking time bomb
awearness is time
but time isnt awerness
of course
im too lonely to sleep
of course
im to messed up on sex
to mesmerized by fear and cocks
and cunts
and arse
and self
and death
to haunted
to timid
to fresh and brave
to excited
to bored
to cut from self
(which is nonsence)
there is only one thing
which is everything
heading out down unmade roads
grandad lewis
sold paraffin out of here in the 40s and 50s
great tanks of the stuff
swilling in drums
in a purpose built shed
on the land in front of his shack
hand pumps
and gauges
with swinging hoses
and a van for doing the rounds
lewis paraffin delivery
of course its all gone now
and
my grandparents too
something is something
till it simply isnt
i remember the van as a kid
parked up in the front garden with brambles
growing thru the floor boards
and sat in the cobwebbed cab
using both hands to drag down the driving wheel
heading out down unmade roads
you should never ask
for poems
ile give you a pimple
or a toothache
an ache in the balls
wank ache
or how about a hangover
or gut ache
i mean real gut ache
like food poisoning with green bile
or
love ache
or
god ache
like hunger
and minute thorts of death
and non being
it your own fault
you
should never
ask for poems
or pray for anything
but truth and god
of where perfection always is
the whole things a lite show
a porn show
a glittering for magpies
for glistening corpses
dismember a body to see what buti is
hold a nose in your hand
a kidney in your palm
a finger nail between your teeth
intergration is the illusion of buti
a whoosh of star dust
a worthless canvas by van gogh
that lifts the soul
that speaks of god
but is only an echo
of
where perfection always is
that im mono
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people complain that i record music in mono that i paint figuratively that my anti-art is too tricky that my poetry is only swear words that my novels are mearly autobiographical that my collages are too abstract that i practice yoga that i belive in god that im a budhist that im a christian that im to self pemoting that im to self depriciating that i wear nailed boots that im only interested in the great war that im obessed with order that im too scattered that im unorginal that i dont stand up for myself that im too agressive that im too hard that im overly romantic that im contradictory that im uncompremising that i paint too my pictures that i indulge the mad that im only interested in american indians that im a soft touch that i dont say no that im awkward on purpose that i only pretend to speak with an accent that im uninteligent that im self taught that I think too much that ive ritten to many poems that im mono
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love
inside and out
for ever sharp knife
for ever butiful robin
for ever dead worm
for ever snow flake
for ever sun
for ever moon
forever
love
inside and out
impeccable
even in madness
god asked me too look after these cats
to feed them
and to love them
so
thats what i do
even if im feeding them tins of
the last of the seas butiful fish
god asked me to paint these pictures
to draw them
in the world
so
thats what i do
spooning on toxic chemicals
cadmium
and
vermilion
god asks that we be impeccable
even in madness
2 hands
2 biscits
vic called my 3 year old son a brat
for wanting another biscit
whilest he stood there
necking his 5th bottle
there no point explaing
to the cunt
that
children have 2 hands
and its not greed
its one biscit for
each hand
hears one for my father
who is jelloiuse of me
my father
who is jellouse of me
how can that be?
my father
who is jelloise of me
no one can belive it
my father
who is jelloise of me
he dosnt wish me well
my sperm are unwelcome compertion
thats why he dosnt speak to me
my father
who is jelloise of me
that why love has deserted me
my father
who is jelloise of me
so like jesus
i have had to learn to love
myself
my father
who is jelloise of me
no one can belive the actions that have
been taken against me
my father
who is jelloise of me
no one can belive the abuses
my father
who is jelloise of me
they presume its all lies
that i can not be blameless
my father
who is jelloise of me
my desire to win has been visious flame
my father
who is jelloise of me
ive torchted others whove strayed too near
bothers sisters haters and liers
my father
who is jelloise of me
tearing down others has caused
grace to flee from me
my father
who is jelloise of me
it seams that defending myself is somehow
an affront to god
and my father
who is jelloiuse of me
as if my ink hates the paper
they say i have
haunted eyes
that im bitter
that i eat snakes
and vomit cookt eggs
they say there is a list of those who hate me
and
that i add to it daily
the riters say i cant rite
go paint
the painters say i cant paint
go rite
my huge interlect is mistaken for
a brasil nut
or salty ignorance
my humourious calves are mistaken for anger
YES ANGER!
the fact that i breath
wild irisesis is out weighed
by the nessity
that I am taunted by the serpents
that lurk benieth their stems
they say i am grim mouthed
that i grew a mustash to hide my desitfull teeth
that kittens that dare come near me
by course are doomed to weave like eels
they speak of me as if they know me
and are expert on my motives
that my poems are a tangled net
as if my ink hates the paper
the names of things
how i love the names
of things
and
colours of things
after bath time
my mother
telcompodered my feet
and pulled
on clean socks
‘these are fawn socks’
she told me
‘you musnt get chapped
between your toes’
thats how she proved that she loved me
and how i loved that word fawn
fawn was a magical colour
or why else would she say it?
fawn
ment baby deer
and dappeled fern
and dappled oak
of gentleness and love
and
so
i love the names of things
and the colours of things
for there-in lies their special meaning
she askt
why i wore gray
didnt i like colour?
gray is the
the colour of bark and moths
i answered
yes she was lecturing me on colour
for she was spiritual
and loved blank white and garishness
and
in her expert estermation
i was dull
like gray
ah
the sweet name of gray
so many colours in gray
pink
yellow
and
violet
gray of slate
and blue
and horizon and fog
gray loves all other colours
with such gay abandon
gray
the colour of bark and moths
how can i become valid
each poet
will
con you
shame faced
tell you
that
their love is more
intuative
their passion more
scarlet
their pain more
keenly sliced
their wound more
winsome and ousing
their suffering
sharper
deeper
and
jagged
or at least more eloquently spoken of
illustrated
communicated
and
valid
yes
how can i become valid
asks the poet
a friend askt
what it feet like being pregnant?
my wife replyed:
like ive swallowed a bloon full
of water with a fish in it
jesus said
the kingdom of god is already here
breath heaven
into your harts
open your palms
draw down gods kingdom
like putting on your vest
or throwing away a chest of draws
it surrounds you
like the good air
it tweets like a blue tit
it has a nose drawn with chalk
dancing pattens on the pavement
like
the puppet of a badger
dont scorn it with ignorance and greed
nor
hold it at bay with fear
but
behead it like a bottle top
my fathers hand
white like my own
but holding a gin bottle
2 others already empty in his gob
his damp whiskers
and some drunken bird on the sofa next to him
mum was in hospital with tb
and
his eyes
watery blue
bulging
i'd of stuck em with a fork
just to whatch em bleed
and
his hair - blond
he liked his hair
and his face swelled and peeling
on acount of the paroxide
not much love in him to detect
but inamered with his own missery and drama
his hands
ripping out the electrisity
chucking the tv across the floor christmas eve
or punching the old girl
a suited man
a supirior man
a white handed man
a gin-handed man
to be a prospective tory mp
but nickt for drug smugling
and they slung him in reading jail
and
treated him ‘like he was a bludy criminal!’
his white hand
blue vained like mine
passing me the green bottle
to sip it
and drink the lies
forget the romance of the bottle
i have no desire to be a riter
only
to be
happy lovesome and whole
theres no value to become
somone
only to be no one
and
its no great shakes
to be spark out in barcolona on 10 fat trebels
of spanish brandy
using the curbstone as a pillow
legs jutting out into the road
waiting for some passing maniac
to do a weel spin in your guts
because your sad and
alone
and have fuckt too many
and lost too many
and been burnt
by every girl
who has laid her sex ridden eyes on you
and waking
you realise your idiocey
stand
and walkuprite into the bar
to order another double of their
butiful sugary brandy
the stupid mans dunce
and someone labeld me
‘the stupid mans dunce’
and it stung
and it hurt
and i likt it
a good insult
after all
invigourates the soul
like a cold shower
or
a stinging slap
the stupid mans dunce?
yes
i can be that for you
and more
in kind
loved and reviled
for my idocys
wearing antlers
wearing antlers
a stagman steps
thru the spiders web
into the world
of dreams
many are gathered there
antlered
stood upright
caught chomping on mouthfuls of wet grass
there eyes seamstartled
but
actually they are shy and as hollow as a barrel
these ghost of faded dreams
empty wounds
how butiful are our wounds
the poetry wound
the art wound
the sex wound
the money wound
longing for gods kiss
the kiss of ourselfs
a beggers hat with a hole in
no one meets me who dosnt fall instentainusly
in love with me
or at least loath me a little
they cant fail but be impressed my robust credentails
by the obsenity of my werk
by the bredth and magnitude
or at least they think ive been pissing in the wind
everywhere i step artist and poets
are clamering for love
for the rite to print money and demand
special privlegesover the scum
scratching out a few drawings here
or sewing their name on someones face there
shaking their paultry achivements in my face
like a beggers hat with a hole in it
kissing the arse of the godess
an american bar or diner
sat beside a wooden balistrade
a vail of gause thalfs the room
on the other side of the vail and facing in the oppersite direction
sat a poet jellouse of my success in the world
he wears a white suite and is
acompanied by his wife
and although i know that he is unhappy
with his lot - his love life and crummy carreer
i understood that we are
sat in a parralel universe
where he is content forfilled and happy
and i relise too that within that universe
all that is imperfect is perfict
co-exitisting along side our
persived reality
putting myface to the gause
i walked along its length
the gause brushing past both sides of my face
till i see
a woman with her back to me
naked
a butifull arse
and i put myface between her
soft buttocks
and breath
and tounge her arse
and the flesh eitherside my face is soft
ample and fragent
and there was nothing sorded
or sexual
just a strong reality
so i kiss the arse
of the goddess
afraid of nothing
knowing my own intelegence and significence
i embrace stupidity and insignifecence
valuing god
i bask in this dark earths shadow
stood naked upon
a trapdoor
that opens thru
vunrability
and embarisment
thru an inadiqusey
of paint
and
words
and
charchole
so i make scratchings
in broken style
and
broken
words
sure of delusion
i free myself of delusion
hiding behind
impenetriable abilty
i mock impenetriable abilty
but not love
for
to taste gods love is to be alive
unafraid
open
and raw
so i paint and draw
inviteing anihalation
they talk of love
they talk of love
but there scearsly is love
or if there is love
then it is a
maudling
sacrine kind love
more akin to fear than love
a love without love
where hatred is truer but hotly denied
a self surving and nocturnel love
creeping and repugnant
like a mans hoary hand on a childs thigh
an
empty
bitter love
enjoying a good row and a puch up
a love quick to the attack
a love viciously defended
a love bloated paranoid and nurotic
a love unlovingly championed
in league with lies and the devil
a love which will hate you if you ever dare
call its bluff
i am their damaged megaphone
dead artist speak to me
and thru me
youd do very smartly to listen
they speak to me
with voices filled with mud and clay
and decay
people feel violated by the stench of their breath
they are not desert prophets
or nessissary sat next to god or the devil
but i am sat smack in the midst of them
their rotting teeth wispering
black thorts in my ear
i am their damaged megaphone
barking out across the nite
calling for
art with out art
love with out love
hate without hate
lite without lite
and
youed do very smartly
to shut up and listen
she said
because i am an artist
everything i do is art
and if you dont like it
then you dont love me
and
i said
everything i do is rubbish
because im a dustman
and if you dont like dirt
then your stupid
and
everything i do is a song
because i am a black bird
that i shot with a gun
when i was young
and if you dont like my song
then you are rong
and
everything i eat is a cake
i baked when i was small
that no one liked at all
and
everthing i see is an eye
because i am looking
and
if you dont see me
you are blind
because everything
is god
see me in the allyways
kissing
contradiction
and
fucking
and
pornography
and god
who you thort you were
you are not
what you thort matters
dosnt
yes
ile not be a poet for you
yes
ile not be a muscian
yes
ile refuse to be english
or spanish
or grow eagle feathers
or stand on 1 leg
see
me in the allyway
kissing
and
fucking
and
pornography
and god
for
nothing i do is art
appology
the artist sometimes known
as billy chydish
would like to hereby appologise
for nurturing cunt smart-arsed eloquence
and contradiction
and for
encouraging spurious tossers
artist
poets
mucicians and tossers
and
for
brandishing his cock and balls
like a spring daffodil
get this rite:
for
percived indiscreations
- passed and futcher
your rong
i am inocesnt
so look on me wth love
as if your feeding a tame bird in your hand
old me
with a
lack of malice
and caliousnes
if your seeing ghosts and daemons
when you look at me
own them
and
siting christ the buddha and god
for
the
pain he has done
for
poems he has done
is missing the point
sitting drawing my homburg hat
on the chatham train
dont take art to
sacredly
the mushroom is sacred
the moth
the pea
blown blossom
and
falling acorn
and certenly
the world
slipping between your fingers
full of colour
and
vigiour is sacred
the
sacred is
unholdable
painting a picture could be sacred
but not the picture
at hart
i agree
with people who say that
im not a real poet
or real musician
that
my werk is derivative
and worthless
that i cant paint
cant draw
and that my nose is too big
invisable
i painted a demon
stood with its clawed feet
upon a babys head
and
in its deamons hands
dripped the babys hart torn from
its socket
no one commentated
on this dog faced apperition
that visted my werk
back then
grining out at them
it was so real
it became invisible
buti better
than gaudy perfection
was it really
nessissary for me
to always
fall in love with women who hated me
i would now like to choose the prettyist of them all
hold their hand
climb a snowy mountain
and gaze at a firey dawn
the snow streaked with crimson
and
purple blud-shadows
flung here and there abouts
like varricious vains or violets
all over-done
much
like a munch of turner mite daub
that some how catches buti better
than gaudy perfection